My friend just found out she is bipolar.....she has sought help, works hard to get better but she has in the past done alot of things that make her untrustworthy....her doctor says she was sick and we should all let go, forgive her and help her focus on new beginging.....but this is hard....what do you think? When I talk to her she says its to painfull to drug up all her mistakes but that she is so sorry and she will spend the rest of her life making it up....I cant seem to forgive her should I?
2007-01-02 10:29:50 · 10 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You can forgive but, at the same time, take care not to be taken in again. Personally, I think God or the Universe keep track. If you don't forgive her, you may not be forgiven the next time you need forgiveness. Besides, wouldn't you be happier if you forgive her than if you don't? Again, forgiving doesn't mean that you have to let her get away with anything more.
2007-01-02 10:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by TeriR 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd extend compassion and forgiveness to her if you are able, but you need to be wise. If she's borrowed money in the past and not returned it, I wouldn't lend her money I expected back until she's been doing well for a couple of years.
Or whatever. She sounds like a good person and it sounds like you care about her, so maybe you could give her trust in small areas initially and see how she does. BTW, what does forgiveness mean in this situation? Cancelling debts? Not bringing up the time she threw lasagne at you at the
family reunion?
I guess it probably would be best to try to not bring up past hurts if you can do so. If not, take a break. You might need a break from the friendship and a chance to see from a distance that she's doing better though. That's not the end of the world.
2007-01-02 11:15:01 · answer #2 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need to forgive & forget...but that doesn't mean you need to let them into your life again. Forgiveness is about letting go of the negative, not letting it eat at you, & not treating the other person bad. I read that the way to forgive is to pray for them & ask god to help you forgive them. It does not mean you have to be around that person. If a child molester hurt you or your child you would not hang out with that person & hope that it doesn't happen again. If you want to slowly see if you can be freinds that is your choice, but it's your call & it will take time. Trust is a hard thing to give freely, once it is lost it is up to the person to earn it back.
2007-01-02 10:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by shouldbworkn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, forgive her. I have a friend with the same disorder and every so often the "darkside" emotes; I remind myself at this times that he may not be able to help it. I suffered with depression for years, therefore, understand that sometimes even tho' we are intellectually aware, we still may not be able to control the moment. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for her because holding grudges and bitterness is also a sickness within, not unlike "mental illness." Forgive her and know that her recovery may be an ongoing process; it is not instantaneous nor easy.
2007-01-02 10:45:53 · answer #4 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't trust someone, you can't trust someone. I'm sure medication will help, but she still isn't trustworthy. It's not her fault she's ill, but you have to look out for yourself, because she won't. Help her focus on a new beginning. Forgive but don't forget is my advice.
2007-01-02 10:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work with the mentally and physically disabled. Those that are truly disabled then yes you should forgive them. In working with them I also believe that people who are bipolar and have conditions like that know what they are doing.
2007-01-02 10:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by chrihutch 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can always give a second chance-but be extremely cautious.dont invest more then 2% trust so you wont be hurt badly.but see over time if she changed and let her gain your trust back
forgiving doesnt mean being just plain stupid,it means you get to try again but i remember and im on to you,if you mess up
2007-01-02 10:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by blank 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not- Now that she knows she is sick, she is responsible for her recovery. However- it is up to you to practice healthy boundaries with her. Forgiveness takes time. If you make your decision to forgive her dependent on her amount of remorse and personal progress, she will never live up to your expectations. Take time to work on you and the rest will fall into place. Get help for yourself as well.
2007-01-02 10:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by soberlunatic 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
but u kno ee caca gfsdgtrea
2007-01-02 12:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you should because sometimes people dont even know they are doing it or did it
2007-01-02 11:58:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋