Should I Invite her to my baby shower?

Question

I am pregnant. Adam (my fiance).. well, his sister is really mean. the other day i was at his mom's and she was talking about how Adam never really moved out because mom and dad still give him money. Which pissed me off but I didn't say anything. Then we were in the living room and she was talking about people on welfare. She thinks that everyone on welfare abuses the system and that they are just too lazy to find a ****** job and support their kids. THAT PISSED ME OFF SO BAD. she has said mean **** like this to me before, so do you think I should invite her to my baby shower? I really don't want to, and adam's mom will have a fit, but I don't think she deserves to be a part of this child's life. I'm not on welfare because I want to be. I'm on welfare because Adam got laid off and I couldn't keep up with all the bills myself. So, what should I do?

Answer 1

It's your baby shower, invite who you want. But, if you invite her she may not show up anyway. And, to keep what little peace there is and keep peace with your husband and mother-in-law you may want to be the bigger person and invite her anyway. She is your husband's sister and will be your child's aunt. I have in-laws that I can't stand either but I try to be the better person and do the right thing even if it kills me.

Answer 2

That was pretty nasty of her. I am on social securtity right now and I get shat upon often by people who believe 'everyone is just taking a piece'. However, I have learned NOT to surround myself with petty, close-minded, arrogant idiots, and my friends and lover understand why completely
I think you & Adam should decide together whether or not his sister should come. I'd think just to keep peace with his family you might want to have her over, but you should make it clear to Adam that she will never be someone you call to watch the baby if the two of you are out.
Keep in mind - you do not deserve her verbal abuse. I would try telling her calmly that you do not appreciate what she has to say when she brings up negative topics, and you'd like to talk about something else...or, better, just walk away. No reason to start a family war before the wedding - I know it's not you, I mean for both you and Adam. If she continues with this line of abuse, excuse yourself and go talk to someone else. She is thriving on the attention she gets by being mean. Don't give her any. If this is impossible, you have every right to NOT see her. A few hours at the baby shower wouldn't be too awful - warn your friends to distract you if they see her cornering you. Otherwise, it's all about you, Adam, and your baby. Good luck!

Answer 3

Invite her to the baby shower.
Having her at the shower is not the same as having her part of the (unborn) child's life. Those decisions are down the road.
The rest of Adam's family is aware of this sister's bigotry and prejudicial attitude. Make sure that Adam's mother is there to put a lid on this woman's behavior.

Here's your response: Don't get angry. You're the victim here. Don't take it personally. Put your energy into developing a good relationship with Adam's mother. She's the one who will offer help after the baby arrives. Work on a relationship with his dad as well. You need these people as allies.

Realize that Adam's parents put up with a mouthy daughter with bad attitudes. They are not going to argue with her on every little rant that she performs. They are picking their battles and letting her run her mouth as a parenting strategy. When she opens up in your presence, just leave the room without comment.

Answer 4

The only thing you can do is set a good example for others - including your child - to follow. Of course you should invite her to your baby shower - if you are lucky she will not come, but she will always be a part of the family and she will be aunt to your kids, no matter what you do.

I have a difficult time with my Mother-in-law and I have had angry words with her, but the bottom line is that I don't want her spreading her evil ideas to my kids - so I sit right next to her while she holds the babies and I take them away when she starts her nonsense, under the idea that the child needs to be fed or diaper changed, etc.

You will do yourself the most good if you can feel sorry for her and her limited mind and mean disposition rather than be angry with her. When my mother in law speaks her nonsense, I have programmed myself to laugh and walk away.

Peace!

Answer 5

Send her an invitation just shortly before the shower but forget to put the stamp on it. If the subject comes about why she's not at the shower, you can say you invited her, then later when that invitation comes back to you with the "undeliverable" stamp from the post office you can show your fiance and his mom and claim it was an accident.

Answer 6

I had a similar problem when i was pregnant. My brothers mrs was the one who i didnt want at my baby shower though and my family agreed with me not wanting her there, so i guess that makes a difference. I eventually invited my sis inlaw to my baby shower, she didnt show up because i left it late enough for her to realise that her invite was an after thought. She was pissed but there was no proof that i intentionally invited her after everyone... Afterall you forget 'important' things when your preg. That situation worked for me anyway. Just remember this is YOUR pregnancy and this baby shower is for YOUR baby... Only invite who you truelly want to be there...

Answer 7

It will be tough, but she is Adam's sister and like it or not she probably will be his sister for some time.

She may be just thoughtless and if so, you'll hear more stupidity from her.

Not to invite her, though, would be the same as declaring war on Iraq. You can't win and even if you don't lose, it will be a long, painful journey.

Answer 8

Hey its one more present right act nice enough but just blow her off. Since she is family, I would be worried about making a conflict too. Just 'cause you invite her doesn't mean you have to be bestfriends with her:) And besides by not inviting her she may just badmouth you that "she the aunt, wasn't even invited, blah , blah.." Play it safe and then, smile and ignore the hell out of her,she'll get the hint!;-)

Answer 9

i think u should cuze or else she will talk **** about u just becayze u didn't invite her at all. and i think u shoulnd't because she doesn't deserve to get invited at all. and people that r so ride talking **** about other poor people or in between that oh my gosh this or that she will be a loser one day don't worry she might be jelouse because u r haveing a baby and forming a fammily and she aint. so 4get her .

Answer 10

I would but I'd give her wrong directions to some darkened alley, then I'd pay some methed up tramp to french kiss her hard till her tongue bleeds, but that's just the kind of stuff I get up to when I'm not at church or helping out at the old folks home.