I have been divorced from "J" for over 7 years and for 5 of those 7 I wanted her back until I got into another relationship. I was not the ideal husband I must admit. She had every right to divorce me after 10 years but, she always tries to keep me away from our two sons (12&13) who love me to death and I love them deeply too. She has re-married and at first I didn't want to accept it but, I have found out that the man she married is a stand up guy and I am comfortable with it all except she still will not let my kids contact me whether by phone,mail or e-mail. I don't have there phone # because she has gotten it changed everytime I had it. She tells my kids they can't call me because, "their # is private,or I'm long distance". There is no way I would get the number if it is private, it will not show up on an i.d. and she knows this but, let her tell it she isn't trying to keep them from me, she's a devout Christian.
She won't let them use her computer to e-mail me either. what going?
2007-01-02 09:55:37 · 17 answers · asked by saturn man 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Been there and done this myself. Thought I was reading about my past situation.
I hired an attorney, went to court, and fought for visitation, written, verbal communication with my daughter. Court granted all of my requests.
I acquired a toll free number and gave it to my daughter, where she could call me anytime at no cost as she lived 200 hundred miles away, I also paid for an extra phone line to be installed in her bedroom, and bought and paid for a computer with dialup.
You may wish to do this too, ex wives can be very selfish with respect to visitation and communication with the kids.
Courts are getting a little tired of dealing with these ex's who refuse to abide by visitation orders. The first time my ex violated this new order, she was arrested and charged with contempt. She was booked into jail, was there about 2 hours and bailed out and paid a $300 fine.
This cost me about $3,000 bucks but it was worth it.
2007-01-02 11:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may have to go through the courts and at their age they may even have a say but first try to write her,not them,a letter,,let her know you understand why she has done this,(even if you dont) but that you really want to be a father to them,,,that all you want is reasonable access,let her know you will not be bothering her or her husband BUT that you do not want to have to wait until the children are older before they decide to come and find you as with all clear conscience you cannot lie and say you abandoned them,,because that isnt the truth,,they do not have long to go before they will make decisions themselves and i doubt she wants them to resent missing out on crucial parts of their life when you could have been there.if you have to say you are prepared to do anything say it,all you need is a hypothetical foot in the door and if you can get an open crack there is hope! i do wish you luck but be sure this is actually what you want because some women,and i mean no disrespect only need one mistake to take it all away a second time with a feeling that you failed the children and they cannot risk them being hurt a second time!
2007-01-02 10:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you are doing all that you can to just even talk to your kids, but obviously the mother isnt going to let her guard down.
this is when you let the family court help you out. take her to court and fight for a joint custody of the kids. ask for the weekends. ask that you may contact them at your leisure or anytime that your kids would want to. if the long distance thing is such a problem, maybe the 2 of you can pitch in to buy a cheap cell phone.
goodluck man.
2007-01-02 10:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by bjperez07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have parental rights and as long as there is not a history of abuse towards your former wife or your children, then you should be able to get legal help and have your rights enforced.
If the new husband is a stand-up guy, then maybe you could also find out from him why the boys' mother is trying to prevent you from being involved.
Again.....Legally, as long as there is no abuse, she has no cause to do this. Seek legal assistance.
Good luck.
2007-01-02 09:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by txgirl_2_98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you pay child support I'd say you have a right to be in their life. Check with your lawyer on that.
The devout Christian is hard to swallow, for her keeping you from your God given right to father your children is not Christian. You are to forgive as a Christian.
If you have not cleaned up your act, no ideal husband, as stated in your question, I'd work on myself first before trying to convince her I'm a better person.
2007-01-02 10:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by C H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wants to protect her kids from you because you might have disappointed or hurt her emotionally in the past. Whether or not you did do this, your ex-wife is being paranoid.
I would suggest after all this you contact a lawyer and sue her for partial custody, that should be your last option though.
2007-01-02 10:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by Yumi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a custody agreement in place and do you pay child support? If yes to either one of those things, then go back to the court and get them to intervine.
If not, you should be able to contact your local family support divison and get something arranged in writing.
Unless you did some REALLY, REALLY bad things, she can't keep your kids away from you.
Good luck.
2007-01-02 09:58:04 · answer #7 · answered by Dolphin lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Khandi.
That's what the court system is for. Based on what you said there should be no problem getting visitation or even joint custody.
Provided, of course, that you are not a dead-beat dad who doesn't support his children.
2007-01-02 10:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
you know your kids trust me i know how they feel sooner our later your 2 kids will have enough of it dont be scared you should our if youhave to take her to court but in a nice manner because remember the kids will also remember and watch it our talk to your ex wife email first and say i want to be involved in my childrens life and start emailing back and forth if that dosent work you could contact a lawyer and say i tried to be polite and i wish i could have visiting rights
good luck
2007-01-02 10:34:02 · answer #9 · answered by kute_angel92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, the psycho ex. She is being vindictive cause she want let go of the past and is using them to hurt you. Take heart, my friend. The day will come when they can come to you and she want be able to do anything at all.
2007-01-02 11:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋