I'm nervous about a future with my boyfriend who has an anxiety disorder and clinical depression.?

Question

We have been together for about a year and 1/2 now and we are very much in love. We are both 21 years old. We are not planning on getting married or having children anytime soon, however sometimes I do get fearful of what would be of our children. I am a Special Ed major, going to become a special education teacher in about a year, and my boyfriend has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since he was 6 years old. I am not cold about this situation, and I try not to think in a selfish manner. It is NOT that I don't want to "deal" with children who have anxiety and/or depression, but to bring a child into this world, knowing that it may suffer, and seeing my boyfriend suffer (when he isn't on prozac) and watching children in my classrooms suffer, I don't know if I should morally bring a child into the world with a possibility of suffering. My boyfriend has thought about it also and said he isn't sure if he wants to have kids for this reason, but I want children. Any opinions?

Answer 1

There is a possibility of your future children having these "diseases". But if you truly love your boyfriend than you are willing to chance this. My boyfriend suffers from some of the same things and more. But he is a really great guy at heart. Ive been with him for about 3 years. We have a 15 month old baby boy who is the light of our life. I hope and pray that he will never go through the things that his father goes thru. But because his father has these issues it would never stop me from having children. You could be with a guy who is perfectly normal in his mind and have a child who ends up having many issues. Parts are hereditary some are upbringing and some are accumulated over time. Unless your boyfriend is completely psychotic and you feel that he could possibly kill people than don't stress it too much. It might be a little more difficult in the future if you do decide to have kids or it maybe nothing and your kids could be fine. You always, if you feel comfortable with it, can talk to your doctor about the concerns you have. But like I said if you guys are truly in love and somewhere down the road want to have children this should not stop you. I hope this helps believe me I understand your concerns. I love my guy and I love our new boy. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I hope you two dont skip the miracle of babys because of this fear. I have never done anything in my life as great as having a baby. This worry is just going to add to your boyfiends anxiey and depression. There is no need for it. REALLY! Everything will be fine! And you said that this wasnt even happening in the near future. So live your lives be as happy as the both of you can, and when that day comes and if you guy's are still in love than just let the miracle's of life proceed. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I probably would worry more about your actual relationship and how that might affect your children than anything else. I do think though that genetics does come to play. My husband is dyslexic for example, and both my children are dyslexic, so I do agree with you that genetics is always something to consider.

I have to say though that I don't think any family's genetics is perfect though. My family and my husband has alcoholism running throughout, so that is probably going to be inherited in their genetics. You may leave this boyfriend and wind up marrying another boyfriend that has a lot of alcoholism in his family, so maybe not an improvement.

And if you really love this guy and want to marry him, I would just deal with what you have. I mean some family have Down's Syndrome, etc. In the worst case situation, I guess you could adopt children. There are children in Africa and China I guess that could use parents? Is that what you are asking?

Answer 3

I'm bipolar have been for 35 years, and married for 25+ years of that time, my hubby is very supportive and understanding I'm managed by medication and although still have difficulties they are much better than off meds as you have seen with your bf. There is a belief that its heredity however I wasn't diagnosed or even aware of it when I had my children, at the time I thought what I was experiencing was normal because I hadn't felt any other way. In hindsight I still don't think I would have let it stop me having children, yes I am aware it may be passed along but I also know that during their life I encouraged them to be strong, independent and make their own decisions accepting their consequences and above all helped them develop their own resilience. I do get concerned from time to time but if my kids need help they know they can rely on us, they are now 24,23,21 and 20 and generally speaking normal young adults. Without wishing to sound callous I think that the area you are working in is extremely challenging and may have more of an effect on whether you have children or not, however make that decision when the time comes; if in the end you decide that you do not want children then know in your heart its OK, children bring with them their own set of challenges, problems and issues but regardless of all that they bring their own love and affection but having them isn't for everyone and we need to accept that.

Answer 4

I am in the same situation, My bf and I have been together for five years, and deppression is hereditary, but because it's the man the chances are less, however I undersatnd that this has got to make it hard when one of you sees the glass as being half full and the other half empty. I feel that the mood swings when they are on and off meds are far worse to deal with than anything else.Good luck

Answer 5

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 6

if you actually love this man these are the genes you hope for your children to have... seeming that your worried of what could happen.. sounds like your just a worry wort. yes these things do run in family's but his genetics will only play half of what your child may be. the stronger genes usually take the place of a weaker side.therefore unless you both have these issues your children have a good chance of not having this gene or chemical imbalance. worse comes to worse your still young find the mate you wanna have kids with... it is the meaning of life and will be your greatest assets. if you both don't agree about children how about just enjoying each other for the time being. no relationship is perfect or lasts forever. it boils down to who do you want to share your time and genetic off-breed with?

Answer 7

you're able to desire to think of of it this style; your stress is obviously bothering you and affecting your existence negatively. Take a deep breath and contact your well being care expert or psychiatrist just to make an appointment. you will experience plenty extra useful understanding which you're taking the stairs to appropriate your undertaking. Your rfile could have the skill that might actually assist you out while you're hassle-free with him or her. while you're having panic assaults, you probable choose an anti-stress drugs. Counseling will additionally earnings you. in case you could verify the place your stress stems from whilst your meds "instruct" you a thank you to experience "common", you will at last locate out a thank you to regulate along with your existence with out your meds. As you progression and your issues initiate getting dealt with in a healthful way, you will start to experience extra useful approximately your self. quickly you will understand that your stress is merely an irrational theory which you're living on. as quickly as you get that little bit of self belief and understand each and every thing's ok, you will shop recuperating and recuperating.

Answer 8

I have social anxiety and clinical depression, but I've never been told that they're hereditary