How do I confront a girl that is sending texts to my boyfriend without him knowing?

Question

I found some texts on my b/f's cell from a woman calling him good-looking and wishing him merry Xmas. I asked him about it and he said that I had nothing to worry about, that she asked him out and he told her that he is in a relationship. He told me that she is not his type. I'm just wondering how she got his number. I would like to call her and ask her some questions but how can I do it without him knowing? He has cheated before and I just want to know if anything is going on.

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to check his phone anymore because he will probably be keeping it away. I did write her number down, so I have it. He told me to drop the issue and I know if I question him again, he will get mad. There were no texts from him to her. I had sent him a few and he had kept those also. We have been in a relationship for about 3 years and are pretty serious. I know if I call her she will probable tell him and then he will get mad because I didn't believe him.

Answer 1

Well first of all if you have to snoop and play detective about it there is a bigger problem and if he has cheated before.. I'd say just forget it and cut your losses.

Answer 2

I would say that if he has cheated before....chances are he is doing again. But you can't jump to conclusions just yet. When he is not looking, or sleeping.....get the number and write it down! Then talk to him....ask him how she got his number and when and definately why he gave it to her. How long have you been with him?? If it's a short time and this is the 2nd time then you should re evaluate your relationship...is he worth the stress? I'm just curious if he was trying to cheat and do something behind your back...why hasn't he covered his tracks and deleted the messages?? Maybe he's being honest and nothing is going on and he kept the text's because he wanted to show you that it's the girl who is trying and not him. But if you can't get the answers you want out of him....try the number! Pretend you got the wrong number and ask for his name or something....and see if she tells you that you got the wrong number but she knows him. She's not gonna lie if she doesn't care about you and if she wants him that bad! Good luck!!

Answer 3

What an interesting story. You should talk to ur man and then call the girl because maybe the girl does not know that he has a girlfriend. Guys are lyers and well you can call her and ask her if she knows this guy. If he does then ask her for how long pretend you are a girl that just found out her number and would like more inf of how long they have been talking. bUT DONT TALK LIKE A ***** BECAUSE THAT COULD BE A BAD DAY BECAUSE SHEMAY NOT TELL U ANYTHING GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

First of all, do you know this woman? If not, then two can play at that game. Just send her a text, nothing mean, just something that'll shock her for awhile. Maybe you could pretend to be his girlfriend, only make it sound like you're really butch and a champion at hammerthrow. Haha, that will freak her out.

If your b/f says nothing is going on, just trust him for now. But if the texting still continues, tell him you really don't like the things she's saying and that if he told her that he's in a relationship, why doesn't he just stop talking to her?

Answer 5

I don't think I would try to do it without him knowing. He knows that you are aware that she is texting him, so I would tell him you want to text her back. If he has a problem with this, then maybe you better start asking yourself if he is worth the stress. If he has cheated before, he should understand your request. My thought is if he won't give you the info you need, and sit beside you when you do this, then he isn't serious enough about you, and doesn't have respect for you and your feelings. You put up with his crap 1 time, that doesn't sign you up for a lifetime of walking on you. Unless, of course, you let him.

Answer 6

Obviously the problem is between you and your boyfriend. If he is still out there giving his number away and cheating then you have no right to confront the girl who is calling. You basically just admitted that you are going to ask her what is going on because you don't believe what he tells you. That's the problem.

Answer 7

You have to wonder - why has he kept the texts? And are there any texts from him to her?

Once a cheater, always a cheater. Sorry for this bad news, but I think it's true.

As to how to find out what is going on - difficult, but what about just telling your bf that you are going to call her? Just because he has been dishonest in the past doesn't mean that you have to be, too.

Answer 8

If she works with him, the she may have gotten the number from the company directory. Chances are, he gave her his number at one time or another. I would keep an eye on the text on your bf phone. and I would get her number from your boy friends phone. Once you have her phone number, you can send her text. Then ask her what gives?

Answer 9

get her number by looking in his cell like you did before. then call her with your own number when you and your boyfriend are not together. talk to her; ask her questions; corner her =]

if that woman decides to tell him somehow; then tell your boyfriend straight up that you dont like what she was doing; and you dont like that he isnt telling you the bitter details that you had to go dig up for yourself.

Answer 10

If he's done it before....chances are....well, you know....

Just get the number out of his phone....call her on a different phone with the number blocked out (*67) and then ask her if she knows(insert BF's name here)......say that you're with the census bureau and you're just collecting statistical data on him...
She'll most likely be dumb enough to buy it.