Do we have a need/want for love?
Why are guys (even nice ones) only looking to hook-up with you and nothing more? Is it okay to feel like a loser if you've never had a boyfriend and your almost 30? Is it okay to feel sad & lonely and not believe ( maybe lose hope) when people tell "you someday day you'll find someone"? Is it okay for me to vent my feelings?
2007-01-02 09:48:28 · 22 answers · asked by Kitty Cat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for the comments. I just wanted to add. Yeah I like being single(casual sex -lol-) (sometimes) I can do what I want, but sometimes it feels like "societys ideal" that ( for cause I'm female) I should be married and have a family. It's hard being single -sigh- : )
2007-01-02 09:58:21 · update #1
Wow......you are truly one in a million!!
How on earth did you NEVER have a boyfriend?????
I have a theory about why people are single at any one moment, but will need some more info before making any assumptions about you, personally.
E-mail me thru here, if you wish, and share your secret on remaining boyfriend-less for so long!! I'm really curious......
Mr Happy
;o)
2007-01-02 09:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by hagtagg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, I have a friend who is now 37 years old.He has never been married and his longest relationship was 6 months.Last year he went on Match.com and met a girl and they are still together.
Its never too late to find love.
And in most cases,The later in life you find it, the better off you are.Look at alot of those you know that are now bitter and have been threw a bunch of relationships.Is that something to be envious of??
Just be yourself and be glad to be alive and healthy.If you don't walk into situations in life with your head down and your tail between your legs you just might notice more attention then you think your getting.
Pay attention to looks across the room and eye contact.You just may be missing that diamond in the ruff.
Never loose hope, cause the only real hope there is, is the common sense that carries our brains to better places.There are no fairy tails in life.Just real tales.Go out there and smile, make conversation and make your mark on the world and good things will come.And if it isn't today,tomorrow or next year.Just know that as long as I am me and honest with myself and those I meet, I will eventually find what I want instead of whats next.
In other words girl, you haven't missed anything except all the bull crap that everyone else bought into and now know better.Start from where you are and go for what you want.
2007-01-02 17:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We do as humans have a need for love. You can have love without ever having a boyfriend. You first need to love yourself.
There could be something preventing you from connecting with someone else on that level. You might want to discuss it with a therapist that you feel good about.
It's ok to vent.
It's better to be in a loving HEALTHY relationship than to settle for the abuse and other things that you see most of the people around you settle for every day.
Work on and focus on getting internally and externally healthy and I garuntee you will find someone that is right for you. It is hard work and rare people want to do it but it is worth the rewards in the end.
2007-01-02 17:54:16 · answer #3 · answered by choice478 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From a Biblical perspective, if you are craving a relationship, it's OK - God did not think it was good for Adam to be alone. If it's also sexual temptation (we burn with Passion) Paul, in the Bible also advised not to fight it, but get married.
It's a tough singles market, and it seems the great ones get snatched up fast - they don't "wait through a long friendship" first, but get commited one way or another right away.
Relational skills, like anything else, is a skill that can be nurtured and improved. Chatting online can help solve some relational issues. And (a secret) - a Pheromone additive to your perfume can attract guys right away, and give you a chance to relate to them, and LEARN by those interactions.
Pray for God to give you wisdom - the right clothes, what to say, and where to find guys. I found my gal at the Mall of all places, and that after 8 months online at a Singles Website (the pheromone cologne got her attention, then I wrote her every two to three days until she couldn't resist dating me.
Helpful?
2007-01-02 17:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by syquest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, Is it ok for you to vent your feelings? absolutely! How else can we help you? We all need someone to talk to about how we feel & how our life is going...a special friend or our mate is best for that, because they could check in everyday & see "how you are"...and it sounds like you don't have that person in your life yet but you've got to keep looking because there is someone out there who would just love to have you for a girlfriend. It's ok to feel bummed out every now & then ...but you can't let those thoughts take over your life...you have to have hope, because love is what makes life special & it can only be special when you find that special guy who wants to do more than just hook up...but rather wants to love you in a way that shares his heart & soul with you & can see the specialness in you that we all sometimes loose sight of in day to day living...Do we need love? Absolutley! We were made for love! without it life is just ordinary & love is a gift from God...it's what He's all about...maybe you should go to church...that might just jumpstart your life! ...I'm hoping the best for you ...ok? bye bye.
2007-01-02 18:13:31 · answer #5 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have a need for connection. Deep connection...like sharing our deepest darkest secrets with someone and that person won't care.
Men like sex. Plain and simple. They're driven by it. And maybe you're not meeting the right men. Ones you find in clubs or bars aren't marrige material most of the time. You want to look for guys who go to Chruch or are involved in some kind of family organization. Don't count out online hook up places either!
In a few years I plan on using one myself, because I'm a lot like you. I'm 21 and I've never had anyone or even gone out on a pity date.
Of course I might not either. I can see myself living alone for the rest of my life, just talking to people I work with, maybe going out for a drink once in a while. It's not a crime not to get married and have kids! Personally I think I'm too...selfish for a family life...that and I'm horrible with people...besides that I have my art work and writting to fall back on and a cat (Pets help with that lonely feeling).
It's perfectly fine to feel the way you do too. It's part of being human. Humans need an...obession...most of us choose love because it's real and it's shared just between you...and another person...(MOST of the time). Some people choose religion as their obession, or movies, a television show (one of mine), bird watching, painting, photography, collections, work, video games (another one of mine), books, writting...we all have something, and it's not just because we enjoy it, but because it comforts us.
I took up things to keep my mind off love life (or lack there of). It doesn't help all the time, but sometimes not even the love you share with someone else can help you with all things.
My advice is this...stop trying to find anyone at all. Focus on helping people, being a friend and just have a good time! The rest is just extra!
2007-01-02 18:16:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your frustration and concern. Of course your feelings are totally legitimate. If you're losing hope, start thinking about how to make yourself happy. Have an image in your head about how you'd live your life alone in a way that will make you content. Not having a man is not the end of the world. Really.
2007-01-02 17:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by tinkcph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man I love being single. I can do what I want when I want without some nag back at the ranch. If I want to sleep nude and be a mess I can! If i want to stay home and watch football all day I can! If I decide at the last second I want to go somewhere I can!
Am I understood here? It's called FREEDOM!!!
2007-01-02 17:53:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course its okay for you to vent your feelings. And not everybody dates, some people rather be alone. My uncle is 40 and hes NEVER had a girlfriend, and he's not gay it's just the lifestyle he chooses, some people just choose to put themselves first, and thats okay. When the time is right, the time is right. Keep high faith and you wILL meet somebody.You just have to be the one to believe that.
2007-01-02 17:51:09 · answer #9 · answered by Kablina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to vent your feelings. I haven't dated for a while and besides being horny, it's not too bad. Just focus on other things and when you do date keep your expectations high.
I would rather be alone any day than with someone who makes me feel miserable.
2007-01-02 17:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Laughing Libra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋