How do I write my own bible?

Question

I'd like to have a new religious text for the masses to interpt and twist to their own liking. So how would I begin in writing a book that would enlighten others to the point, they could use as a reason to call themselves prophets, followers and even have a few apostates who claim my words aren't of God.... AMEN

Answer 1

Think Nike on this one... just do it. Do it and people will follow.

Answer 2

Just add to or take away from the Word of God in the Holy Bible. You can deny that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God. You can deny that Jesus died on the cross for your or anyones sins. Then you can write things one must do to be sooo righteous to others. You can say that Lucifer/Halal told you everything, that you are his prophet. That others can be his prophet too. Lucifer said you can interpret & twist anything in the book.

Also, you can write warnings like hell for anyone that doesn't give the 20$ each time or doesn't do all the laws you write. And if they break your laws then they can have 3 chances to repent and have to give 3X$20.

Answer 3

Why would anyone want to create a Bible? I believe we will be held accountable for anything we teach others related to religion. Would you want to be a false Minister/Priest, etc? It would be wrong for you to create new religious texts without any guidance/direction from God. Check out my question "Do you think the birth of the Red Heifers born in the 1990's is proof that the Messiah is coming soon?" There is an important message for everyone.

Answer 4

The first step is to come up with some prophecy. It's fairly simple, if you remember a few simple rules:

1. DO steal stories from other religions. Change the names if you want, but use the same stories. People are already familiar with them, and it's already been proven that people are dumb enough to believe them.

2. DO use lots of vague imagery. Don't say nuclear war when you can say "great conflagration". Don't say earthquake when you can say "shaken". Don't say ebola when you can say "sickness". the more vague you are, the more people can interperate your "signs" as anythig they like, and the more like your prophecy is to "come true".

3. DON'T give a timeframe for when the events are supposed to happen. If you give a date, and it passes uneventfully, people get dissillusioned. Simply don't give a date, and your chances of it "coming true" greatly increase.

I'm sure there's more tips, if I think of them I'll let you know.

Answer 5

I think it's a good idea to write a journal during your course of study, it's funny some of the things I wrote a few years ago. I find it a good way to keep in touch with myself. It's also a comfort to look back and see the path I have followed.

Answer 6

You probably want to do it so you can be rich, right? Your idols (ha, ha) must be L Ron Hubbard and Sun Myung Moon ("give 'til it hurts!") Write a "bible" like the other suggested. You could also recruit some disciples (a PR company that you can pay with your tithe money?)

Answer 7

You need to just look at any feel-good, hero story that tells people what they want to hear. Once you understand the dynamics, look for a figure that you can use to present those stories in. Add the stories, appeal to people's egos, and .... best seller! People have been doing it both in and outside of a religious context for millenia ...

Answer 8

If you've got a few decades to do it, you would first start by deciding what premises you wish to set forth with the stories in your Bible.

Then you can travel back in time, and set down a few propheseys, come back and fulfill them. Get a few people to write the stories for you. Put them together in a book and call it your Bible.

Answer 9

Just call yourself Jimmy the New God of... plastic, or something. then tell everyone that you have personally met the FSM and have cooked many a pasta meal with Him. Then appoint a Head Meatball order-taker dude and call him Jesus and call him your son, even though you are an anonymous grey silhouette and Jesus is that guy that you see running the Ball-Mart from an Irish family.

Answer 10

By the time you have completed it, the bible is no longer useful. Just start reading the bible backwards and start it now. Amen to you.

Answer 11

Begin with "In the beginning..." then write whatever you want. Maybe you could be the next David Koresh, or Joseph Smith, or maybe even the new improved Muhammad.