Nothing I do EVER measures up to my family's expectations!Everything I have achieved has always been overseen by my family. Anything I have ever done equals to nothing. They don't see it. Since they don't see it, I don't want to do it. Whenever I went after my goals or dreams, I was laughed at.. So I stopped. My family thinks buying and paying for stuff is "supporting" their daughter. I want moral support. I never get it. I never did...
I am so lonely. There is no one to keep me motivated, no one to support me or help me with anything. WheneverI have a dream, I don't have someone there to believe in me. I am 17. Filling out college applications are a dread. Especially FAFSA. My family is always yelling and they don't want to help me fill out the applications. They think I should do everything on my own. If I go to them for advice, they say "You are old enough.If you want to do something, YOU have to do it."
Please help...
2007-01-02 09:09:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have told them how I felt many times but they get mad and tell me they have always supported me...
2007-01-02 09:56:16 · update #1
I am In the same boat. I am 17, have no support and my family treets me like durt. I am always in the shadow of my older brother, he is now in college (whoo hoo from my parents) but he is just in a community college, not a real college. buy next fall i hope to be in a real 4 year school a year early than I am suposed to. basicly I say who cares, I will make some thing of my self no matter what. keep your head high. you will get into college, do well and get a job making more money than your parents ever dreamed of. I wish you the best of luck, and you can email me if you want.
2007-01-02 12:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all ::hug::. I was in the same situation. I actually ended up leaving my house (well kicked out for something way stupid, and decided not to go back). It's very tough if there's no support, but you CAN find strength in yourself. And when you work so hard and achieve the dreams and goals that you want, it will feel so much better. Don't feel like you're all alone because there are alot of other people out there feeling the same way. If you have problems with your college apps. and FAFSA, go to your school guidance counselor and they will help out. If you have questions about anything, while you're still in school, go and ask them to a trusted teacher or even a peer's parents. Tell your parents you don't want them to buy you anything anymore. Get your own job and work really hard. You can do it, we're all behind you!
When you reach your goals and dreams, don't let them take any credit either! Remind them that you were the only one who motivated and supported yourself emotionally!
2007-01-02 18:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart, you don't seem as though you believe in yourself. Unfortunately, there are families who don't know how to lend emotional support to their children, and your family seems to fall into this category.
You have achieved the things you have so far because of what you have done, not what they have helped you with - so why do you need their approval? I know many people who live their lives only to try and please one parent or another without ever succeeding. These are people in their 40's who have children of their own and can't enjoy their lives because they still want the approval of a parent, but they will never get it.
If you are 17, maybe you could ask a friend's parent if they could guide you through the very important process of registering for college. You will only need your parents for a short time until you are totally self sufficient. Don't beat yourself up over not being able to please your parents, just worry about pleasing yourself.
You can get help from School Counselors, Teachers and the kindness of your friends parents - I was always thrilled when one of my kid's friends asked me for help.
The most important thing is to let go of the need to please your parents, don't dwell on the fact that they are not there for you. Use your ability to fill out your paperwork alone or with help to your advantage.
"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger"
Parents are not always perfect, so don't be so hard on them but -quit trying to please them because it seems to be a lot of energy for nothing. Good Luck and I have a feeling that you will do just fine.
2007-01-02 17:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kathy N 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying to make them happy and start making yourself happy. Sure, I feel your pain. Who dosen't want the backing and love of their family, even if it's just to be noticed a little. You could adress this problem verbaly with them and tell them how you fell and how it hurts you. But if your asking this question here than maybe that is not an option. If you need to feel noticed, I suggest working with or helping people who will notice you. Doing a little voulenteer work is great for this. Hey, your not alone. I am a stay at home father of two who has the laundry clean and folded, dishes washed and put away, House clean, kids fed and dinner waiting and I never even get a thank you or great job. My wife got me a Yahtzee hand held game for christmas.. Wow. But I no I matter and I know who really sees my deeds both good and bad, and He is the only one that matters.
2007-01-02 17:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon,
the best thing I can say is use that as motivation to get out. It sounds like a crappy situation, the sooner you learn that you don't have the support, the better for you later on in life
Find friends to be your family
They feel like buying things for you isn't support it is thing parents should be doing for you anyway
Just think about how college life will be when you are farther away from the mess
and then will only have to deal with them on a "visiting basis"
I probably sound harsh, but you are getting to be an adult, just take it a year earlier, and get out...
Don't dream it , Be it !!!
(quote from my fave movie) but it works
Good Luck
2007-01-02 17:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by drkbabe73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. My family has acted the same way toward me. They give me financial support but no love. They mock my dreams. Hang in there and go for your goals anyways. You'll never be happy if you let your family dictate the way you live your live.
So do what you have to do now. Fill out those applications, go to your friends and teachers, guidance counselors, internet searches, etc. for help if you need it. Just remember, when you make it in life and you don't have to depend on your family for anything, you can tell them how you feel about them and they will begin to see the mistakes they have made.
2007-01-02 17:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by ssmith 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that when you have no one else you still have yourself. Is going to college going to help your family? No it is going to help you so do it for yourself. Even if your family is disfunctional you seem to be doing fine all by yourself you should be damn proud of that. Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't worth the effort. In 5 years it won't matter what they thought said or did. You will have your own life and one day your own family to worry about. Go for your dreams and leave the bull where it belongs....... In the past! Good Luck.
2007-01-02 17:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by rose_calhoun23 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welll......i see there point but its not like that in all families.....and you just didnt get blessed with supportive family.....sorry being 17 is a big time and thats when big desicions are made in peoples lives are changed!!!! all you gotta do is take a deep,deep,deep, breath and slowly let it out, count to 10 or 20 real slow!!!! relax...look inside your self and reach down deep, real deep and pull up that inner strength and if you have dreams and goals!!! you go for them!!! you odnt let family or friends hold you back you find the courage to fufill your dreams and and put yopur faith in god!!! and sorry but F***** them famliy can be the meanest of all sometimes!!!good luck!!!!
2007-01-02 17:20:36 · answer #8 · answered by southernspring2010 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this case, you need to seek help at school, there are advisors who can help you with your forms, and so you can stop worrying about that.
I know it's hard to do things without support, I was in the same situation, but don't let them beat you down. I was depressed and ended up seeing three counsellors and was very down. I got through it by having some very close friends who helped and supported me.
Honey, feel free to contact me if you want to talk, I'm sorry, I don't have IM, but I will answer your emails if you want me to.
You can get through it, turn it into something to make you stronger, not make you weaker.
2007-01-02 18:31:30 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that your family is so unsupportive.
If you need help with school things, and they won't help, I think the people at your school can help you. I think you also need to try to just believe in yourself. Your family may not support you, but if you keep your head up and go after your dreams, then you will find someone who will support you someday. I'm sorry to say, but you can't expect people to change, and although it is hard, I hope you find happiness someday.
2007-01-02 17:16:15 · answer #10 · answered by joleiey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋