how do you prove someone is harrasing/bullying you at work?

Question

I feel i am being bullied at work, I cannot do much as I have no proof as it is done in a subtle way. I am now signed off work with stress related depresion. There have been several others forced to quit their job as a result of same treatment but I have lost touch with them now. How can I stop this person doing this to me and others, I have been and talked to management and still nothing is being done they are prepared to turn a blind eye to this.

Answer 1

Ok, first you need to DOCUMENT every thing that happens with the date, time, and events. Make it as detailed as possible.

See if any of your coworkers will support you and get their letters of support.

Then goto management, again. If it doesn't work, mention that you are going to get legal representation (a lawyer). Be prepare to do it or find another job.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Hi. I have suffered as you have as well, its not nice at all but please dont let it take over your life. This person in mallicious and viscious and deserves to be brought to justice, unfortunatly management have a tendacny to turn a blind eye to the situation especially if it is in their best interests.The first thing you need to do in any case is to write it all down, as trivial as it may seem to you. Also if you are going back to work then keep a diary of all of the abuse, there is no point taping or recording anything because unless you inform them beforehand none of this can be used against them. After you have written a report make sure that you send it via special delivery to the supervisor/manager and make sure that you specify that the recipient only must sign, this way if you do decide to take it further you have proof that they received notification of your complaints. I would then arrange to set up a meeting, maybe ask someone from the citizens advice beaureu or someone uninvolved to go along with you (no matter what anyone says you are ALWAYS allowed representation in a meeting of this kind). Build up your case and bide your time, the bully will only react to quick and harsh retaliation so make sure you outsmart them by doing everything according to the book. If you have a meeting with anyone make sure minutes are taken, and that everyone in the meeting signs them and you have a copy. Its all about obtaining proof. If you decided to leave you can sue them for constructive dismissal which means you left because you have no choice. I really do hope things work out for you.

Answer 4

I certainly sympathize with everyone on this site that has gone through bullying -- the same happened to me - 4 girls and the boss all ganged up on me and starting lying and taking things I said out of context. I did come home everynight and write down what had happened, I also called several of my best friends at night because I was so distraut I just didn't know how I was going to get out of that department. They were definately jealous of me b/c I was doing more work than any of them. It is easier said than done to find another job -- my job ended at three months and the supervisor kept complaining to her boss that I could not get along with anyone in the office (mind you, this lady only hired her young friends) I was 60 years old and placed there b/c my boss had retired. I was transferred to another area/bldg and sure enough, that supervisor is trying to pick on me and make me out to be incompetent, I too, am lookging for another job and when I do, I will see an Employment Attornedy and sue them for age discrimination and bullying/definmation of character. It is sad that these young girls were in a clicque and a 60 year old lady did not belong. They also sabotaged some of my work -- I have kept good records and I would love to see the look on their faces when they get served papers. Take a stand! Don't let this happen to you! Disgusted in the workplace.

Answer 5

I have read all the above answers and they are good and sincere so all I want to do is offer some additional advice.

Question: do you have a friend at work to whom you confide your worries and pain?

If you do, stop immediately. If management is turning a blind eye then the chances are that you are not up against a single bully but a coalition for some sort. Your "friend" will be feeding back to the aggressors where you hurt most and supplying them with the ammunition to hurt you more. You must not give feedback to any of them.

Sure, keep a diary but also say to the bullies, in public, something along the lines of "If you want to play psychological warfare with me, you will loose! I know what you are about." Then do nothing. There is no need to fight back. Survival is the name of the game and that is all you need to do. Eventually they will fear you.

Get back to work. Tomorrow.

Answer 6

Most managers take abuse at work very seriously. Sometime they can't do anything outright because they have not seen the abuse themselves or have no other witnesses. Still, if this perpetrator has a history of doing this type of thing, the manager should begin to see a pattern and do something about it.

One thing that I learned is that such incidents have to be documented. (When they happen and you go home, write them down, with the date, and note where all of this took place and what was said.) I have also learned that I can sort of tell myself the person is just kidding or made a mistake in judgment for only so long -- and then I tell my immediate supervisor about it. When this type of thing happens (to me it has happened but rarely) I tell my supervisor (or group of supervisors). The fact of the matter is that our work is very important to us (both financially and socially) and we don't havet to put up with people who make us feel uncomfortable.

Because you have not told us what the abuse is like, we don't really know what to tell you to do directly. Is this person interfering with how you do your job? Is it someone acting like a supervisor when he or she is not one themselves at all? Is that person questioning your loyalty to the company when there is no call to do so?

Good luck. Learn from this, but also realize that the vast majority of our co-workers and supervisors are good folks who would not allow this type of thing to go on. When you apply for another job, do not bring up troubles at your old job.

Complaining to corporate headquarters sometimes helps, but a lot of people wait to do this until they are out of the situation and have another job.

P.S. I agree with another poster here: You have received some very good answers. We know what you are going through. I've often wondered myself how some of these abusive people actually get or keep jobs -- t hey don't seem to know how to get along with others very well and it makes one wonder how they get along with family members or friends (if they have any).

Answer 7

Employers have a duty of care and must take your concerns/complaints seriously if they wish to avoid legal action against them. The fact that you have been forced to take time off work for an apparent stress related illness goes some way to prove that you are experiencing harassment in the workplace. You must assert this in any further contact you have with them.

If you now feel that you are unable to return to work you may have a valid claim to an Employment Tribunal (ET) for "constructive unfair dismissal". This is a very complex action and would require that you resigned from work before making an application to an ET. You will need expert advice/assistance from an experienced Employment solicitor before taking such action. Contact the Law Society for details of an appropriate solicitor in your area.

Keep contemporaneous records of any further contact/discussions you have with your employer in this matter. I would counsel against making covert tape recordings as these may not be accepted as evidence in English law.

I hope the above helps in some small way.

Answer 8

if its that bad you should see if you can get transferred or look for another job. People say that never let a bully push you about like this but if its really hurting the bigger thing you can do is walk away as these people are prob just jelous. If you dont want to loose your job than you either stand up to them because if they threaten you or hurt you you can then call police and it only takes you to phone them a few times about harassment before the police will do something about it. If your work dont want to know than maybe you should go and theyll soon realise what theyve missed.

Answer 9

ignore anyone who tells you it's just abit of fun or character building, bullying takes lots of differenr forms and what seems minor to one person may be major to another. Take a stand against the bully - even iof you leave the job, it'll stop them getting away with it again.
Keeping a diary of events is a good idea. You'll need to present dates, times, details of what happened and witnesses. Also ask a friendly colleague to help you present your case to supervisors if you don't want to go by yourself. If your line manager won't listen, go to the personnel manager instead.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Inform the management that you intend taking your case to an industrial tribunal. It would be helpful if you had witnesses/ tape recordings etc. This is the lowest and most vile form of bullying, and you must take a strong stance in this.