Kids at my wedding?

Question

My fiance and I do not want to have children at our wedding (ceremony or reception, excluding the flower girls and ring bearer). What is the appropriate wording to include on the invitation?

Answer 1

Although everyone may have an opinion, the fact of the matter is that not all of your answers to whether or not to include children fit everyone's situations. Specifically those who suggest including children but designating them to a specific room. Not all facilities include separate rooms/areas to accomodate children. Also, if someone is investing thousands of dollars to host an event about them, they really do have a say in the matter as to whom may attend. Children often cause distractions and/or interuptions. That's not to say those situations can't be good ones but brides can spend up to $3000 on a dress, not to mention, hair, makeup, nails, veil and countless hours on the treadmill. It really is about the bride. And then evening weddings tend to run late, sometimes up to midnight. Those with children tend to have a set bedtime for their kids. Granted this is a special occasion and kids can occasionally stay up past their bed time but why pay for a full dinner and open bar if your guests need to rush home to put the kids to bed. Preparing for a wedding is difficult enought. But no one wants screaming children, dirty diapers and a $125 plate of salmon for a six year old.

Answer 2

I also do not want children at my wedding.

I personally can't see why anyone would want to chance a crying baby or hyperactive 5 year old screaming during their vows. Some people just do not like kids, or want to have an adults only event and meal. There is nothing wrong with that.

Our invites will say: Formal ceremony and reception. Adults Only please. Childcare will be provided on site.

My fiance and I will hire certified childcare workers to take care of the kids. For the ceremony, childcare will be in the Church basement, and we will rent a separate small banquet room at the hotel for the reception.

Worth every penny. The parents get a break, the kids aren't sitting through a wedding and then watching mom get drunk at the reception, and I as the bride get what I want. Win-win!

Answer 3

Wow, its amazing at how many people are saying it is RUDE and MEAN to not have kids at your wedding.

PEOPLE WAKE UP. This is a VERY important event, and sometimes young children will intturput things. Also, there may be drinks served, and you don't want kids exposed to that.

Address your invite to the ADULTS in each family. Also require an RSPV. If you have the money, offer childcare during the reception and ceremony. There is a tactful way to kindly ask that no children attend. But if someone does bring a child to the ceremony, kindly ask, in private, afterwards, that they do not bring them to the reception. You might hurt a few feelings, but this is your day to feel like a Queen.

Answer 4

I have the same dilemma. I was thinking just to write the number of guests that were invited on the response card and if they had any questions I would then explain children were not invited. My dilemma is that children in my family are invited but not children from friends so it wouldn't make sense for me to write an adult reception. And from the other comments I have read, I do not feel it is disrespectful at all, weddings are expensive and if someone has five children.......lets not even get into it. Your wedding, your reception, if they don't like it, let them eat cake!

Answer 5

If you don't want to put the actual words on the invitation anywhere, just address it to "Mr and Mrs John Doe" Or "Ms Jane Doe and Guest" If their response comes back more than the number you addressed it to, you are well within your right to call and say "This is adults only" or "Due to the size of the hall/church, I can only invite x people and while I would love little Suzy to come, I had to limit ALL children." Or, if you are comfortable, explain that the budget doesn't' allow for children. Let them know it's not just their child not invited.

And don't listen to all those who say children should always be invited to a wedding... they aren't paying $75 per person, just to see the parents get trashed while the kids fall asleep in the corner!

Answer 6

The correct way to do that is to include only the names of the adults on the invitation though most people don't realize what that means. In order to get the point across without being rude - fill out the reply cards in advance either by putting the number of guests on a store bought reply card, or by making your own customized with the names of invited guests only and a check mark beside each. Most people will then realize the children are not invited. If you do get a few back with the children added, you will need to call and let them know.

Answer 7

What you might want to do is arrange for a separate room for children and enough activities to keep them occupied throughout the night. However, allowing the flower girls and ring bearers could cause great unrest with the parents if these children have siblings. I have seen how much strife this can cause. Remember, people with kids have a different mentality than those without. Parents often seem to think that their kids should accompany them wherever they go and it's very hard to get them to understand this is not the case.

Answer 8

We wanted the same thing at our wedding -- no children and no strangers. It's your day -- you should do whatever you and your fiance want.

Rather than write "No children" or something equally tacky on the invitation, just do as many suggested and only address the invitation to the adults in the household. Also, on your RSVP card, you can write M________ accept / decline and M_________ accept / decline. That way they fill in only two adult names and little is left up to the responder.

Finally, word of mouth is key. Tell everyone involved with the wedding (parents, wedding party, family) that it's a no-kids affair. Believe me, people wouldn't have dreamed of bringing a child to our event -- and it was great!

Congrats and best of luck!

Answer 9

Had this same issue for our wedding. You can simply write, "Adults only" or "No children". Also, make sure you write out the names for each invited guest on the individual invitations. So if they don't see little Tommy's name on the invite, it will help send the message. lol Also, if you're sending response cards, be sure to fill out the number of people invited, and leave them a space to say how many people they're bringing. If you put 3, and they put 5, make sure to call them and let them know exactly what you want. It can be hard, because people, especially family, will do whatever they want, but remember, it's your day!! Congratulations and good luck! :)

Answer 10

I don't believe there is appropriate wording for such a thing. While it's your wedding, and you may invite whomever you like, if I received an invitation to a wedding that specifically excluded children, I wouldn't attend. When my daughter was small, if we were invited to such an event, she went along, or we didn't go.

I'm curious, why don't you want children to attend? Are the people you want invited have many children?