How do you motivate kids ages 11, 9, 9, and 7 to do their jobs??

Question

I mean I have done all to be imagined to get these kids to do job charts I have tried all I know maybe someone has a better idea. I have grounded and took things away and they will not help out at all. I mean I am a single mom and it would be nice if they just do their jobs I only give them 3 and it is their responsibilty to keep their room clean. I am constantly fussing at them isn't there an easier way with out the battle??? Someone please help I am at wits end with these kids not helping I will admit they are spoiled really bad and that is my fault. Please no smart cracks I am being serious and would like some serious imput.

Answer 1

I am a mother of two boys and they NEVER did anything that I ask them unless I grounded and got really upset. Do you find things in their rooms that should be in the fridge or the sink?? I did....this is what I started and it sounds horrible but I did it. I have a 9 and a 6 year old and I am a divorced, single mother. I got fed up and said FINE....if you want to live like this then fine....I let it go. When it came to their new tshirt or their new pants and they werent washed.....they would get so mad at me and I said if its not in the laundry....Im not doing it. I am not your slave and I am not your housekeeper. I am your mother. My oldest does most of the dishes and when we ran out of dishes....he would get mad and I would have my clean sets and they would ask where theirs were ( I would wash my 6 year old some) but my oldest knew better. If their rooms got really bad I would just walk in and ignore it. Mine are spoiled too. T'Vs in rooms, xbox, ps2....I took it all away and I didnt listen to them argue. After only 3 days.....they got over it and they started to help. I might have the occasion..."I dont want too" thrown at me but they know that I wont do it for them. I had to make them turn around and realize that things are not handed to you and they can all be taken away in a heartbeat! Its tuff...very hard. You have to be strict. You have to set them down and talk with them and the first one that doesnt want to listen......is booted out of the conversation and has to sit at the table. Thats what I do with mine and they are wonderfull boys....both of them and they are doing great now. It is hard. If you would like to talk sometime...drop me a line. I feel like I never have time to do anything for myself. I just hope it does get better. Stay strong!

Answer 2

Take it all away from them. Pack up the tvs, the games, everything and put it into storage. Tell them when they do their chores they will get their stuff back.

Then set up a reward chart. Whoever completes their chores gets something each week. Nothing huge, a small monetary award. Whoever gets the most chores done in a month gets a larger reward, dinner out maybe, or a movie.

Let them compete for it.

You know what, life is short, if you can afford to, pay someone to come in for a few hours and give you a hand.

Keep your house simple and don't keep a lot of knick knacks around. The less cluttered a place is the better. Get rid of stuff as soon as they don't use it anymore. Nothing worse than being a packhorse. Learn to get rid of what you don't use.

Answer 3

There is only one way to get kids to do job charts and that is follow the leader. The first thing you've got to do is give a good example and be the first one to do whatever you want them to do. The second thing to do is whatever is necessary to get the oldest one to follow suit. Pay him, beg him, promise him anything, anything, so he'll set a good example. The third step is to publicly praise your eldest about how responsible he is and how you don't know what you'd do without his help and just make him feel responsible and adult and supportive and real important. Praise and reward are the only things that work. As long as you keep fussing that's where you'll stay. Be cool. Be in control. Be the leader.

Answer 4

Give them an award for doing thier jobs. It works with my 4 year old. But then again he's 4 and there is only one of him. But first I started out with Candy. If you help clean your room you get candy. Then he grew out of that. I started with a piggy bank. I gave him money. Queaters. So that when we went on vacation. He could go to the arcardes. He loves playing games.
If there is some place your family likes to go. Tell them that if you all save up enough money you can go there. But if you don't do your choirs to earn money were not going. Then there is always. Take all the toys on their floor and put into storage somewhere. Make them earn thier toys back by doing their choirs. Tell them if they don't you are going to throw them away. Heres one more. When supper time gets close give them the same excuses they give you. I don't feel like making sopper tonight. Tell them if they don't want to do their choirs your not going to do your.

Anyways good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like you know what you need to do. Take a 2 fish oil pills every day, to boost your metabolism, and drink 6-8 glasses of water every day to flush out your fat cells and help digest food more efficiently. But the most important thing is to just stick to it. What I find helpful to do, is every night I record what happened that day on my diet. What went good, what went wrong, and what i hope to do the next day. Any time you want to eat something fattening, write down "I can lose weight. I can do it". (I prefer to use my cell phones, since I can delete it afterwards and no one will find me talking to myself). Keep yourself motivated; imagine yourself laying on the beach in a bikini with a flat stomach, slender legs, and a C-Cup. BE SURE TO EXERCISE AS YOU GO. If you exercise WHILE you diet, then your skin will graduate tighten as you gradually loose weight. However, if you loose weight while not exercising you will be left with flabby skin, so exercise about 3-5 times a week or more to keep your skin tight and burn more calories.

Answer 6

Do like Nanny 911 does, when they do their chores, the get a star on their chart. When they reach some predetermined number, like 15 or so, let them do something as a reward, like give them $5 or take them somewhere

make it a reward system not a punishment one. Except if they do something wrong, you can take stars away

Answer 7

Stop doing a few of your jobs that they count on and see how they react -don't give them a ride,cook, clean, or do their laundry and give them the type of lame excuses they give you. They will figure it out pretty quick-They cooperate and so will mom.

Make a real impression not just one thing but a bunch and make them think that you don't care and things will just be that way BAD!

They will learn to behave responsibly if they see what happens when the boss doesn't do her jobs.

After that set rules and enforce them.


Good luck

Answer 8

Good for you...if you can give them your best, then there is nothing wrong with that...unfortunately, it seems to be backfiring on you currently, so try to get them to refocus their current mindset. If you have time and can arrange for this, try to start them in on donating their time by volunteering at a homeless shelter...or have them volunteer at a local hospital within the pediatrics unit....or give them a time chart...for example:

I expect these dishes to be cleaned in 15 to 25 minutes, if you have not completed this task, another chore will be added. If you don't believe I am serious about this, try me. (what you will do as they will try you on this is to follow through with your punishment start taking their favorite things one uncompleted chore at a time...get a large box/container and place each of their names on their favorite things and place it in the box of "no return." Mean what you say and do what you mean Mommy...that's why these children might be giving you such a hard time...you think you are following through with punishment, but you are not because if that was the case...it should and will work...ya dig?) Sometimes you have to be hard on your children so that they know to foremost respect You and do what You say because You know what is best for them and You LOVE Them...right? Yes, you do because you are a great Mother...so also try:

Television for only 1 hour a day if they deserve it
No snacks after school, only fruits and vegetables
No going outside to play until you do what I say...DONE!
No going out on family adventures until you all act accordingly and still do what I say....DONE!
No sweets of any kind, or new toys, or new things until they deserve it. You can do this....trust in your own style of obedience as you know your children well...and you know what it takes to get to them...You are Mommy and what you say is Law...DONE!!!...


Time to Clean house....Good luck to you and be Safe...(smiles)

Answer 9

Rather than take things away, give them things. Like TV...they GET it after chores and homework are done. They GET fun activities on the weekends (sleepovers, outings, etc) after they do their chores ALL week. It's not about taking things away but rather making them understand that these things are privileges, not entitlements. If you have to, take the power cords and batteries from all their electronic passtimes and let them know that they receive them on a checkout basis when they contribute to the household.

Answer 10

Im not a phsycologist or anything, not that they help, but you may have to put in concidering that your child must do chores YOU want on THERE time schedule. By age, they will ofcourse learn to adapt to such situations were you are in need of help, but if you find them not doing anything, throw out a chore or two. Also teach your childeren how to clean, and keep your chore expectations in line with your child's age and development. Remember Im only 15, and I hardly do chores myself, actually, my room looks like hell.