They have been married for almost 3 yrs and she still has things from her school days tucked in drawers and boxes.Today while cleaning,Thats code for being a snoop, He found our daughters old address book for high school.He starts calling the numbers and asking these people if they knew HIS wife and WHY did she have there number.Some even called me to ask me what his problem is.This book has teacher,friends,family and i suppose old boyfriendsHe even called her at her job to take issue with her over this phone book thats about 9 years old,that predates him in her world.He is so mad because he had never seen this item before.This is just an example of the things he does to her. She has about had all that she can take.He works maybe 3 days a week and my daughter works about 50 hrs a week. He refuses to grwo up and get rid of his WWE posters and get a real job... WHat advice would you tell your daughter if this was her?
2007-01-02 08:18:14 · 22 answers · asked by Cat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well the issue is clearly that your daughter and her husband have some trust issues, possibly because there were probably situations in the past that had destroyed this trust, from either your son in law, or even your daughter, either way you dont know, and to tell you the truth you shouldn't, as it is their issue, the best thing to do is not say anything, it is probably embarressing to your daughter, and it doesn't help if you talk to her complaining about her husband, it could ultimatly lead to you losing her, because the thing is you might hear about how they fight, but you don't hear how they make up, every couple has issues, and they might not be acceptable to some, but it's their life and marriage, the best thing is to stay out of it, for your sake, you wouldn't like it if you had a mother in law or mother who would voice things out about your husband that were negative. Let them work or break this out on their own, unless it got physical, then don't interfere. good luck
2007-01-02 08:58:56 · answer #1 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lacks confidence in the relationship because he knows she can do better than him and that she doesn't need him. Also, if he's only working 3 days a week, then he has too much time on his hands and thus has all the time in the world to let his jealous thoughts permeate his mind and cause him to snoop around. He seems very immature and he probably will not change anytime soon. That is a little unnerving to know he would pitch a fit over a 9 year old phone book, and have the audacity to call every number. Encourage your daughter to get away from this guy because if they ever have kids together it will only get worse. I know from experience. Simply put, he is actually jealous of her. Men like him need a woman who's less successful and more needy than them to make them feel like a man. If he hasn't already begun to put her down and pick fights, that will be the next thing he does. She should chalk this up as a lesson learned and proceed with either a) marital counseling, or b) divorce proceedings, though the latter will more than likely be the remedy to the problem. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 08:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Noodle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tread carefully........
Advice from a mother can be taken two ways....it depends on her choice in the end.(whether she stays or goes) and if she stays you are doomed.......
She knows what she is living with. She knows she can barely take it anymore.
Just be there for her....Listen to what she has to say. Hugs and and a warm heart is what she needs.
Put the advice on the back burner till she really needs it.She knows and its up to her to make the next move.
Just tell her that you are there for her if she needs you.
You sound like a great MOM. It got to be very hard ,loving your daughter and know she is being treated like this.
Best wishes
2007-01-02 09:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to sit down and discuss with him why he is so insecure in their marriage. If they can't work it out, they need to go for some counseling. If that doesn't work, she needs to consider a divorce. Things will just continue to escalate. I hope there are no children from this marriage until decisions have been made.
2007-01-02 08:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by Santa's Elf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he didn't turn this way over night. I'm sure he did similar things while they were dating and got worse over the years. What can you say to her ? She can see the madness for herself. You need to let her figure all this out. I'm sure she is going to be pretty embarrassed over what he has done and she will come to the conclusion that this is what she will have to deal with for the rest of her life if she stays with him.
2007-01-02 08:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him while she can..if hes that upset about something that is 9 years old, he is definately a control freak, and it wont take much to make him abusive. Get out while she can.
2007-01-02 08:22:25 · answer #6 · answered by Rich F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her that I wouldn't put up with that type of treatment from my husband, and that you wish she wouldn't put up with it either. However, let her know you understand it's her decision, her life, and that you love her and will support any decisions she makes.
I wish she would realize that she deserves better than that. If she's the adult and he's the child, what does she need him for?
2007-01-02 08:22:54 · answer #7 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get a new man thats actually a man!!! Instead of a jealous little teenager!
2007-01-02 08:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by Whos your mama? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think i cannot give a justified opinion as it is a one sided story. I have to hear the other side's story as well to give an unbiased opinion.
2007-01-02 08:51:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like my ex-boyfriend!
She needs to divorce the loser and find a man who knows how to treat her and not be a jealous, paranoid, psychotic, jerk.
:)
2007-01-02 08:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋