Should I confront her?

Question

While my girlfriend was out of town I went over to her place to leave her a card saying how glad I was to have her back home so she'd see it. In the process of finding a place to put it I came across a notebook that I guess she used as a diary. My curiousity took over and I read most of it and regret it. I was a virgin when we met and told her so up front...she said she had slept with two guys. After reading her diary she was in a very depressed state when I met her and she said in her diary she slept with anyone that would show her attention to make herself feel better but it ended up only making her feel worse. One guy in particular she said she didn't sleep with when I asked after I read it but I know that she really did. It was even up to two weeks before we met. I know I shouldn't have read it but I did. I feel she is ashamed of it but trust is very important to me and I wouldn't have been made as long as it was the truth.Any advice on what I should do b/c I get insecure about it?

Answer 1

If it's trust that's a big issue with you then snooping shouldn't have been your course of action. There is no good way to confront someone when you find something using devious means. If you are this bothered by it own up to it. Apologize and hope she forgives you. But chances are she was very embarrassed to tell you what she was going thru and it may be a big ordeal for you to know, esp if she wasn't ready to tell you. Good luck.

Answer 2

1. You shouldn't have read it.
2. Now that you did, you can't bring it up or you look like you did.
3. She probably lied to you because she didn't want to look like a sleeze.
4. Is she faithful to you in this diary? If not, break it off.
5. I would never get invoilved with someone in a state of depression, you could be a thing of convenience.
6. Open your eyes when you talk to her and seek only the truth. Then make your decision, don't mention the diary or you'll be history.

Answer 3

The fact that you violated her privacy to begin with leaves you in vulnerable situation. You'll never stop thinking about it ... you'll probably even CONSTANTLY bring it up in a roundabout manner, trying to force her into telling you the truth. She'll lie (obviously, as she did in the beginning), and you'll constantly continue harrassing her, leaving you both flustered.

You'll NEVER rest easy until you hear her speak the truth, therefore, you SHOULD confront her about it. Tell her the ABSOLUTE truth (as you so desperately want in return)!!!!! Tell her that you read all about it in HER diary, so you know it's true. Apologize for being a snoop, but be HONEST and let her know what happened (all details, as you'd expect the same from her) and how much it bothered you to read it. Tell her how it hurt you to know that she hadn't been up front with you. That's the only way to move past it. Justify your actions (if possible), by telling her the truth.

Going forward, please remember to always keep in mind that EVERYONE is entitled to their privacy (including you). And if you're going to VIOLATE that in any way, shape or form, be prepared to hear (and accept) ANY answer.

Good luck!

Answer 4

By confronting her you're going to open a page that is not even needed. What you read happened before you two got together and shouldn't matter. What you sounds like you read is a very disappointing point in her life that she'd rather not advertise to people to include you. I say let it go and try to forget what you read, because when she finds out that you read her most private possession she is going to feel hurt and angry with you.

Answer 5

she already told you why she did it...
what are you going to do.. make her feel more depressed.. well its that the case...
she needs someone who will love her....
make her feel secure in the relationship... maybe your just not the right one

Answer 6

you know, i used to be the same way as her. she is just ashamed about what she did. let it go. trust me, eventually she will come clean, like i did.

Answer 7

yes you should