if you want your child to like you, and you want him/her to think you are a cool parent and that they can come to you with ANYTHING and they dont have to hide anything, how should you disipline them? (i'm not sure i spelled that right lol) please and thank you!
2007-01-02 07:58:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You're not here to be their friend, you're here to be their parent. Kids need discipline, and there are going to be times when your child is mad at you. You cannot be their friend AND their parent. You're either one or the other, and if you choose to be their friend you will have a terribly behaved child on your hands.
2007-01-02 08:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately, by the very nature of being a good parent, your children will not always like you and they will definitely NOT think you are always a cool parent, especially when it comes to discipline. Your goal as a parent is not to be your child's friend. Your children will have plenty of friends, they need you to be the parent. I have been a mom for 27 years. My kids are 27, 25, 22, and 9. I have been told I was the "meanest mom ever", that "I hate you", and "I wish I had a different mom" more times than I can count. The secret to dealing with that is to know not to take it personally. Because my husband and I set boundaries, made the rules and made them stick, and were fair and consistent when it came to discipline, I believe all our kids are well-adjusted people. We have a very close family with a good relationship. We do talk about everything and all our children know they can come to us with anything. We don't always agree on everything, but we are respectful to each other. It isn't always easy being a parent. If you want your child to like you, you will probably be disappointed more than once and there will be times when you don't really like your child too much either. But, you will always love each other.
2007-01-02 16:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your goal as a parent should not be to have your kid's like you or to be a "cool" parent...your job as a parent is to raise a well-adjusted, "good" person.. discipline them when they do things wrong (take away computer/TV time, no outings with friends, etc.) but also praise them when they do things right. They will respect you much more if you set firm boundries and let them know that there are expectations for them. If you do this, you will create an open relationship with your child and they will come to as needed. They will have plenty of friends; they do not need you as another. Be a parent first! (and it's discipline)
Good luck.
2007-01-02 16:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by jcresnick 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are not your childs friend, you are their parent. Children love you as their parent. They like you sometimes and hate you when they are madd. This is ok. our kids have friends and they do not need us to be included as one of them. There is a line between being a friend or a Parent. I hope you are able to find your line soon. Kids need structure and disapline. My kids know what I expect from them. If they cross boundries I have set, I have already told them what consiquences they are going to get. So, Set the boundries and follow through with consiquences and that is what parents do. While all this is going on we give them unconditional love. Parenting is hard, but they need us to be the Parents.
Best of Luck
2007-01-02 16:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not there to be their best friend, you are there to be a parent, teach them right from guide them through life. I see so many parents that wants to be "friends" with their kids and the kids end up going wild because the parents dont punish them right, because they afraid they will no longer be friends, or they will hate them. I suggest making rules and expectations clear and if broken start out with small punishments and if continues gradually make the punishment bigger.
2007-01-02 16:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by Rockell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boundaries you can't be a kids best friend and a parent sometimes you can try doesn't always work. Let them have decisions small or big as they get older but let them know final decision goes through you as a parent. Let them know what is expected of the them and the consequence of their behavior.
2007-01-02 18:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't allow whether or not they like you to be an influencing factor. No one likes someone who is disciplining them. So I say be very firm when it comes to discipline and very loving when it comes to comfort. Your child has to come to understand you can offer the best of both worlds. However I feel strongly that if allow your child to see that their approval matters to you it could undermind your authority.
2007-01-02 16:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ibisoke O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set your boundaries and stick to them. Your child will respect you for this. Do not give up your parenting role. If she does not do what is expected of her to not hesitate to ground her the next time. Trust me they need boundaries and limitations. They will always push to see how far they could go. So set your limits, stick to them and keep her safe. She will in turn feel safe and secure with you.
2007-01-02 16:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a fair punishment, or make them think of a punishment. You could always make them write something about y what they did was wrong.
And don't punish them for something little (not eating their veggies) just tell them why you want them to do something in a certain way. Us kids may not be mature, but we appreciate when parents treat us that way and have rational decisions
2007-01-02 16:01:35 · answer #9 · answered by ... :) 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the key thing about discipline (there is a spell checker just above the question box, by the way) is that it must be consistent, proportionate, and explained.
Children will not hate you for being a parent.
2007-01-02 16:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋