My boyfriend and I recently broke up. It only lasted a matter of weeks.
Now he acts as though he wants to be my friend, and i realised he can do that because he has no feelings of attraction towards me, and I want to do the same. But I know it won't work if I have feelings about him.
To be honest, he was nothing special, so im confused why im still hurting. We didn't connect likely couples do. It was a physical thing (not as far as sex or foreplay though). When he talks to me now, I get nervous and start shaing a little!
I need advice on how I can change the way I see him, because I don't love him, but I want to be his friend and not care who he likes without bad feelings or being hurt by kidding myself.
Thank you in adance.
2007-01-02 07:58:24 · 17 answers · asked by Winters 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's normal to have your feelings hurt with the ending of any relationship, regardless of the length of time involved. Give yourself a moment to breath...without being concerned about him and then consider a friendship. Eventually you will see him differently.
2007-01-02 08:02:25 · answer #1 · answered by kimawah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've gone through this before- except it was with the first man I ever loved. As of January 28th this year, we will know each other for 8 years. We were together (on and off) for 3 of them, lived together for about 1 1/2 years (on and off)- and he was the one that didn't want the relationship. It hurt because he was my best friend. I didn't want to lose that, but between he and I, we knew we couldn't have JUST a friendship. So, we had the "benefits" package going on, but when I found out he was dating other girls, it really bothered me. I felt I wanted him to myself. I truly loved him. So, the only thing I could do that would help was to cut ties with him completely. We did that for about 4 months- and after that time passed, I started feeling less for him (although I still loved him) and knew that if I wanted him as a friend in my life, that we wouldn't be able to have the physical part anymore. Of course, I still remember the last time we were intimate- and he still hints to me now and again about that... but I have moved on, he has moved on... and we are still friends. Time, my friend, Time is all you need to be able to get rid of those feelings.
-EA
2007-01-02 16:06:43 · answer #2 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know you can't be his friend until you are ready... trust me he will understand. I tell girls on here all the time this and the ones I have kept up with have really thanked me for the advice. You need a "mourning" period. It is almost like someone dying, even if you barely know them you still feel sad when they die because in some way they were a part of your life. Just like relationships.
When you are ready to be his friend, if ever, you will know and it won't be a problem!!
2007-01-02 16:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by msapplebottomculo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and just be friends. So he doesnt feel toward you as you do to him. Give him time it might change. In the mean time go with other guys if you have the opportunity but keep the other guy as a special friend. Dont grieve cause he doesnt feel like you. Just have fun and enjoy talking to him. He needs a special friend.
2007-01-02 16:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel hurt is because you are rejected by him first. What is the reason you still want to be friends with him? The only cure for you is to keep your pride and ignore him for a while to get yourself healed. Not everyone can be friend with, especially those you are not able to handle yet for now.
2007-01-02 16:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by chocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change how you feel about him. It takes times, maybe you do have feeling for him that's why your feeling like your feeling. It's best if you part ways for good. You will end up getting hurt even more at the end. Don't worry it will be better soon. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 16:04:51 · answer #6 · answered by Morena461 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really cannot change your feelings toward someone. He may still have feelings for you but he just hides them when he is around you because there really is no way that someone can lose their feelings that quick. The only way I think you can get over someone quickly is with meeting someone that you begin to really like.
2007-01-02 16:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Mizz.Purdy♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from him until those feelings subside. Don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position where you may say or do something irrational.
2007-01-02 16:00:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is not be friends just now..your pain is too raw..maybe in time you can but its too soon.
2007-01-02 16:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you feel this way because your still not over him breaking your heart and your not sure you can take it but you know he can take it but if you really want to know what i think i think that he really dosn't want to be your friend all guys say they do unless they really hate you he just dosnt have affection for you anymore but he still dosnt know what to do cuz he was probley cheating on you and dosnt want to hurt you or her
2007-01-02 16:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by ryanna 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋