I have been seeing my boyfriend for a few years and have noticed that the relationship is changing. We don't speak much when we are alone and he never touches me anymore. We spent new year with another couple and when we got back home, all he could talk about was his friend's girlfriend and what a nice home she's got, and how nice she is, etc. He makes me feel like a nobody; he's really lovey to me in front of his friends, but as soon as we are alone, he couldn't care less and spends the day in front of the computer instead. I try to start conversations but he just ends them abrubtly. He never compliements me genuinely anymore. Are we just getting too comfortable and thats what happens with couples or should I just finish it? I am tired of feeling like a doormat.
2007-01-02 07:51:42 · 37 answers · asked by beanie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think couples do become comfortable but the communication should be as strong as it was in the begining. Talk!! Let him know how you feel and go from there. No one can tell you to end your relationship. That is a decision you have to make. Don't be afraid to work hard at your relationship if it is worth it. Don't be afraid to move on if it does not satisfy you. Change is good.
Good luck
2007-01-02 07:57:50 · answer #1 · answered by A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you talk to him about taking a break from one another for a while and see what he says to that. That will give you both some time to think and see if there is a future or you need to move on. You are not even married and this should not be the norm. Every relationship goes through ups and downs, but for the most part the positive should out-way the negative.
Good luck to you both.
2007-01-02 07:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but it's not normal. I've been married for 4 years. You eventualy get comfortable around each other but it shouldn't change that much. It sounds to me (and I don't know all the info) like he may be seeing someone else. A man just shouldn't loose interest like that. I know that's probably hard to hear. You should talk to him, tell him how you feel. And ask him if he wants out. It's easier to do if you're still dating. hope this helps.
2007-01-02 07:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by anna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've made a fatal mistake.
You have given up all the value you have as a woman without getting anything that really matters in return.
One thing that really matters to women is committment - and one key way that you know your man is committed is marraige - but after years with him, you are not married.
There is probably a good reason for this: you have given him all the benefits of marriage (sex, love, cooking, etc.) without any demand back from him. So why should he be motivated to treat you well or get married?
Start over with someone else. Be sure that as you give of yourself to a man, you get something back that is real.
2007-01-02 07:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by JoshInShermanOaks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't treating you properly, and the most likely reason is that he is looking for a way out of the relationship.
You need to sit down and talk to him. Try to find out what is going on, and tell him he needs to change. If this doesn't work, get out and find somebody who treats you with respect.
I would never let my fiance treat me this way, and we've been together for almost 7 years. He loves and respects me, and has not grown tired of touching/cuddling me!
If I were you I'd stop wasting your time with this guy, and find someone who makes you feel happy to be alive every day.
Believe in yourself. You are worth more than this.
Good Luck
2007-01-02 08:14:52 · answer #5 · answered by Copper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before ending a relationship always engage in dialogue and try by all means to iron out all your differences. After you fail to come to a compromise, then you take whatever decision you may think suitable to you.
Men are like bees which are attracted to nectar on flowers, and should they find that their friend has a smart and intelligent partner, then they just assume that they can also find one like that. So you already know what he wants, why don't you try to mould yourself like his friend's girlfriend and see what happens. However, I wouldn't advise you to take the latter option, instead be yourself and just finish it if it is necessary.
2007-01-02 08:10:47 · answer #6 · answered by marizani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would leave before your self esteem gets any lower. I dated a guy that was like that for the first few months we were together he was great but then it just got worse he actually started treating my like I was a poisonous snake, and I decided that I had had enough. I am now married to a wonderful man that thinks I am the best thing that hit the planet.
2007-01-02 07:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by go4er59808 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a cheek he has going on about your friend's girlfriend like that. Sounds like he has little respect for you. You could try getting him to talk but beware- not all men can talk about emotions and it may flare up into a row! My advice- if your instinct is to finish it then you are probably right- go with the instinct! Good luck!
2007-01-02 07:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by gsladenyc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling he is using you to appear not-lonely in front of his friends. Inside he is alone because he shut you out a long time ago.
Explain this to him, talk to him about it and if he refuses to talk, walk away NOW before you grow to old for anyone to love you anymore...
Time is precious and you're only young once. Really, I implore you to move on.
HE sounds like a joke, not just the relationship. And tell him that.
2007-01-02 07:56:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anne S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is behaving like this so soon in the relationship, it is likely that he will just get worse.
You aren't happy with the relationship, and you need to talk to him about how you feel, and be honest about what it is you want.
Couples counselling might help if you want to make a future together.
Hope you find happiness.
2007-01-02 07:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋