Is there such a thing as a deadbeat mother?

Question

I was just reading some questions, and it seems like all the women on here seem to think that men are to be responsible for 100% of a child's expenses and some of the mother's expenses. I'm not saying that all women are like this, I've just noticed an increased number of them. They seem to think that since they are female, they deserve custody of the children and expect a man to work 3 jobs to support the child and the mother. If the women are so much better at being a parent, and think that they automatically deserve custody, why don't they deserve the responsibilites that come with being a parent. I feel that women have too much power when it comes to children. And they tend to use the children as a weapon during a divroce or separation. I know I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this quetion and probably not get an honest answer, but please put emotions aside and answer honestly. By the way I'm happily married, so don't think I have any bias.

To a couple answerers:
Ever think that those fathers aren't trying to avoid being fathers, but the mother's avoid letting them have contact? And also, I know a few guys that CAN'T pay their child support because they have to pay their own bills. They courts don't realize that $1000 a month is not child support, it's mother support.

another part of my question:
How can the JUSTICE system be so partial towards the mother? Why aren't there court ordered evaluations when it comes to determining custody? My wife is bipolar, unemployed, and under educated. I have a college education, several nationally recognized certifications, and I own a business; if it ever came to a point where we were getting divorced, she would probably get custody, WHY?

Answer 1

Yes there are deadbeat mothers. I have a friend and he has full coutody of his son and his the best parent for the child. It's not always the mother than is the best for a child. A mother that souly depends on the child support checks to take care of her child is one also. It's not just one parents job to take care of the child it is both.

Answer 2

specific, there are deadbeat mothers. What you describe isn't a lot a deadbeat mom, as a awful mom, and a mooch. numerous my Aunts have been like this. taking care of their youngsters left my mom with a bitter feeling that every person became taking good thing about her. I had to handle that becoming up. There are literal deadbeat mothers, besides the undeniable fact that. information teach that even whilst a guy finally ends up with the babies, the guy is a lot extra in all probability to wind up determining to purchase baby help then the ladies. (Custodial Dads hardly ask for baby help, and in specific circumstances the daddy will take the babies with out every person changing the courtroom orders). i found out from facebook that my ex-female chum does not have custody of her youngsters. For a variet of motives I kinda doubt she is paying baby help, even even with the shown fact that she is an American citizen with a school degree and the daddy isn't.

Answer 3

Depends on the state KS 90 percent of the time the kids go to the moms my brothers oldest childs mom she is 6 now has not seen my niece since she was 1 and that was because my bro begged. I can't stand that fathers always get the bad rap, some guys are dead beats but so are some women, the judges think moms make better parents i disagree with that my brother has been a father since he was 19 he didn't have hardly any help with his oldes he could have left but he didn't he was told he might as well adopt her out he has been there for her since she was born. yes there are dead beat moms sorry can't help emotions don't agree with people that have kids and them treat them like pawns or don't take care of them.

Answer 4

I think you have a ligetimate and very well thought out argument and the answer from a female, who is also a mother of two, is absolutely yes. I know quite a few deadbeat moms as well as dads. Guess that's what happens when you live in the city, you know lots of good as well as bad parents. Unfortunately in our society which caters to the needs of women when it comes to parenting, the kids tend to get the short end of the stick. There a lots of women out here who have kids just as a way to keep a man in their life, so once he is gone the kids catch hell and she focuses her attention on finding the new man victim. I know I will catch a lot of flak for this answer but being a bad parent is not limited to any one gender of parent. It is equall across the board for deadbeats. People had better wake up and get real, the only thing that is going to better our futures is investing in the future of our kids. One day you will need your kids to take care of you, so be good to them, it will pay off in the long run. Remember, KARMA is *****, so know her name and know it well.

Answer 5

My insurance agent of the past 12 years is a fantastic dad, and has raised his son from infancy, because the mother was a crack whore (really, she was). Sometimes it happens that the dad can be the better parent. We have driver's licenses, dog licenses, etc, yet almost anyone can become a mother or father (parent is the wrong word, as one must learn to parent).
Deadbeat moms? Yes. Think of a certain pantiless celebrity.
Anyways, that's my answer, take it or leave it! 8-)

Nat
Mom of 3 year old daughter, married for 5 years.

Answer 6

I don't see people asking men to pay 100% -- I see them asking for child support. Yes, there are deadbeat moms who walk away from their children and fail to pay support. I believe that male or female you should be held accountable for raising the child you brought into this world.
The problem is that too many people view child support as a payment to the other parent and it's not - it's a payment to the child. As a mother of 4 I can tell you that it takes a heck of a lot more than what people get in child support to raise a child!

Answer 7

ok you said a mouth full. first of all not all women feel that way. im happly married as well. im a stay at home mom and my husband works one " job" although its a career not a job. we don't need him to work more then that we are fine. i have an education as well. if something was to happen and we did get a divorce i would want joint custody and i would start working. although again i am happly married so i don't see that happening. The problem is more men then women seem to avoid being parents. They don't want to deal with it and alot of them don't pay child support at all. Thats an honest answer. Hope i gave you what you needed.

Answer 8

My ex split (years ago, back in the 80's). Left me with two small kids, ages 2 and 4 at the time. She saw them, oh, about once a year for the first couple of years, then disappeared altogether.

She never paid any child support. Ever. I think she'd qualify as a dead-beat mom.

P.S. The guy she left me for was a 350 pound unemployed coke addict. Guess he had a really big one......

Answer 9

I knew one. My good friends in school had the misfortune to have one as a mother. She's use sex and marriage to mooch off guys, then move onto her next target. Thankfully their stepdad was a great guy. When she was married to him, she had 2 more kids (1 his, 1 affair). When they divorced, he kept the oldest 3 even though the girls weren't his. (She took the youngest one. It was really hard on the sibling to be split). Because of their wonderful stepdad, they had a much better rest of their childhood. We all thought he was a great dad.

Answer 10

I agree that many women just use the children to get back at the father. It's awful, but it's true.