What to do with my daughter at night?

Question

My daughter is now 3 yrs old and we have tried her toddler bed several times over the past year and ever time she has been nothing but trouble by getting out of her bed and pulling everything out of the dressers or getting into the baby power or destin. and then we would put her back in the crib and then we tried again and she decided to instead of playing with stuff that she was going to keep coming out to the living room to see what my husband and i were doing or ask for a drink every time and so on.....but now i don't know what to do cause she tried for the first time yesterday to climb out of her crib and fell right on her back. but i know if i put her in the toddler bed again she is just going to cause trouble again becasue she is one of the kids that always has to be touching and doing something when she is not confined. if anyone has any suggestions on what to do so that she doesn't hurt herself again and so that she isn't keep my husband and i up all night please let me know.

just to make sure everyone understands it is a toddler bed that i have for her and it's not that hard to get out of cause it is not like a crib. it is the crib i want to get her out of. and i have thought about taking everything out of her room but i can not do that b/c we live a small apartment and we have nowhere to put the stuff that is in her room. if we take all the dressers out of her room then they would have to sit in the middle of the living room and we could not use the floor to play in there or watch movies or have company over. so based on that i need more advice. thanks!

ok and for those of you who want to know if she is potty train.....we are working on that. we tryed on and off based on my daughters reaction to potty training over the past year and b/c of her sitting not wanting to push her. just over the past few weeks have we really kept up with it and has she shown more interest in it. so as far as her knowing when to go in the middle of the night she is not there yet and may not be for little bit cause now i am having to push her more cause she doesn't want to do it so much again and her sitter isn't helping much. i will be taking her to a new daycare with in the next month or two though and they said they will really work with her.

Answer 1

She's not a baby anymore, it's time to lose the crib. Take it down. She needs to have one option here and that is her toddler bed.

Second, remove the baby powder and all that. It's her fault that she's getting into all that, but it's more of your fault for keeping it in her reach.

Set up a routine. After 7:00 (or whenever) it's time to get ready for bed. Bath, pajamas, a book if she likes to be read to, and then time to lay down. Lay her down in her BED, tell her goodnight, and walk out of the room. If she gets up, pick her up and put her straight back in her bed. Lay her down and say "Time for bed..do not get up" and leave her room. If she gets up, spank her. She had her warning to stay in bed and she continued to disobey and a pop on the butt would correct that. When I was younger and disobeyed, I got spanked and never did it again.

Others will sit here and convince you to just "keep putting her back in bed" and what-not, but from experience I can tell you that those are just a waste of time. Sure, they work--that is after you do it 100 times. This is why I suggest spanking. One pop on the rear compared to an entire night of putting her back in her bed? I'd choose the spanking.

Answer 2

First why do you still have a crib set up for her if she has a toddler bed? Take it down. Secondly take out the powders and lotions (child proof). Put her in the bed at night with a cup of milk and shut her bed room door. If she comes out tell her to go back to bed or take her yourself. She has to learn and a lot of the reason she's doing these things is because your making her think it's ok buy putting her back into the crib, your confusing her. If she cries then let her cry, eventually she'll get the idea and learn to sleep in the toddler bed.

Answer 3

I feel your pain......and I've been through it a lot!

First of all, toddler proof the room as much as you can. Put her back in the toddler bed (falling from a crib is bad news) and buy a baby gate for her bedroom door. Get the kind of gate that screws into the door frame and leave her door open so she can hear you. Set the gate up far enough so she can't get out and low enough so she can't crawl under it.

It's probably going to take a while, but each time she calls out to you (or daddy) just go to her door and reassure her and tell her good night. Don't giver kisses or drinks after her bed time. I set a timer for my boys and told them that if they were still awake when it went off, I'd say good night again and re-set it. It took us a month to get our youngest (who's 3) to stay in his bed.

It takes time and being patient. If you are consistent, she'll learn to stay put. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Do you have a monitor? We just moved our 21 month old into his toddler bed. He is actually doing quite well (knock on wood!!)
Can you move her dresser etc into another room for awhile so she can get into the routine of going to bed without monkeying with everything? (in the toddler bed) We also use a baby gate in front of the door at nap time. Is it possible you are putting her to bed before she is tired? My son will not go to bed unless he is tired and ready to do so. Sometimes it is only 15 minutes after we have tried the first time. But he knows when he is ready and when he isn't
Good Luck

Answer 5

ok heres what you do. take out the destin and powder. put that in your room. get dresser locks so she can't get in there. every time she gets out of her bed put her back in it. it will work after a while. really a three year old has no reason bieng in a crib. don't put her in it again she will hurt herself with that. plus is she is potty trained which she should be by now how would she go to the bathroom while bieng in a crib? stick to the bed. keep putting her back in there as much as you have to. she will give up as long as you don't give in.

Answer 6

She might feel abandoned or unused to the bed. Have you tried pretty much just leaving her there and making her go to sleep? She might view it as a sort of punishment for using the toddler bed.

Does she play in the room at all? Have you tried telling her it's a "big girl" bed and that she's getting so big and what not? She might be confused by the transition. (Children are creatures of habit.) Is there a nightlight she can use if she's scared? Are you putting her to bed when she's not tired? It might be a good idea for you or your husband to sit with her until she falls asleep.

Of course you don't want her to get used to that. Do you have a routine for her at bedtime? She gets into her PJs, brushes her teeth, washes her face, gets into bed for a story/Mommy/Daddy time and then lights out is one example.

Answer 7

Reward her for the times she stays in bed. Don't pay any attention to her for getting out of bed- just walk her back and tuck her in without talking to her.
It will take a few nights, but you'll get there.
Also, if she thinks that nothing is going on outside her room, she won't think that she's missing out on anything, so don't have the telly or anything on. I know that's hard to do, but do this for about a week, and then when she is staying in bed and asleep, you can go back to those nice late night movies with your husband.
Reward her when she gets it right.
Ignore her getting it wrong.
She'll soon find that she likes making mommy happy, staying in bed would make mommy happy, and gets her the attention that a three year old needs.

Answer 8

If she fell out of the crib, she's too big for the crib. Luckily she's okay, but you can't wait for it to happen again and have her breaking limbs. Let her be part of the process for the transition, tonight. Tell her what you are doing, the crib is going and the new bed is staying. The time has come to start a bed time ritual. Allow her to choose what she would like to do first (brush her teeth or put on her pjs.) then allow her to make the next choice (use the potty or ???) you get the idea, until all bedtime chores are completed. Make sure the responsibility for it is hers (her choices). Tell her that this is how you will do bedtime from now on (Let her choose if she wants to do it the same way every night or if she wants to choose each night which jobs she does first) This way you put bedtime in her hands. After you read to her and tuck her in let her know you are proud of the choices she made and that now you are going to make the next choice. You are going to choose to let her sleep in her new bed like the big girl she has shown she is. Tell her you want her to stay in bed (this is the choice you want her to make next), but uf she chooses to get up instead there will be a consquence (tell her the consequence "If you choose to get up after I leave I will have to come and remove your nightlight so you can rest better in the dark" Or whatever negative consequence you know will affect her. Say goodnight and leave. When she gets up, follow through. Tell her you are sad she chose to get up, take the action you promised and leave. If she gets up again, go in put her in the bed and leave without words, eye contact or reaction. Repeat, as many times is necessary until she stays. This might take a few days, or she might get the idea after the first night. Stick to your plan. Do not discuss anything with her after putting her to bed. The time to negotiate and argue ends then. You have to make it clear to her that there is no arguing or negotiating, and you must be consistent. Be prepared to stay in front of that door for hours to puyt her back in bed again and again the first night, but don't let her get away with getting up, or she will have found weakness in your plan and she will blow it up in your face. Good luck, be strong and consistent.

Answer 9

Interesting problem. Perhaps you could take things out of the room that would be potentially dangerous and try the toddler bed again?

Perhaps a toddler bed with a bit more difficulty in getting out of?

Answer 10

I know it's tough, but the key to making it work is consistency. As long as you keep going into her, she is getting attention.
I have twin boys who are 20 months and one of them is jumping out of his crib. There is a higher risk of injury, when they are jumping out of their cribs. So we switched him to a toddler bed. He also has no troubles in opening doors and turning locks. We live in a small house, but we still moved everything out of the room. His twin now sleeps in with their older brother because we can't keep them in the same room. Our bedroom is VERY crowded.
You also may want to try a reward system. Move everything out of her room and once she is listening to you about staying in her room and her bed, you can reward her by giving back her toys, slowly. She's 3 so it will be easier to negotiate with her then it is with a 20 month old. Be patient. Be firm and be constistent.
Good luck!