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My brother hasn't talked to her in 20 years. My other brother and I think it will add to the stress of our mother-what should we do?

2007-01-02 07:24:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

Your brother should be told.

What you need to do is let go of trying to figure out what reaction this information will bring. I'm sure you're playing the endless "What if" game: What if he decides to ignore the message ... What if he comes and it hurts mom ... What if ...

Time to take action and stop trying to control the uncontrolable. As a family member, it is good to open the door and share information that ties you all together as a family. Posibilities are endless. You just need to buckle down and find ways of copeing.

I gurantee you that your family will play out better by telling him rather than playing the "What if game" after the fact (What if we would have told him ten years ago).

I can't gurantee you any results except that you will have the satisfaction of knowing you did not withhold from feeling of control. You just accepted life's situation that came at you.

As always, find a loved one with whom you can share feelings with during this major event in your life. Breath often, and make sure you focus on love rather than hate.

2007-01-02 07:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 0 0

Your brother should be notified if your mother has a stroke. Even though they haven't spoke, he needs to be given a chance to reconsile. I have met 2 people change their personality. They have become much nicer and are concerned less about small things. A stroke may lead into more serious things, so the time your brother has with your mother may be short.

2007-01-02 07:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by nyicecreamking 2 · 0 0

This really should have been and still is your mother's decision. She should have explained what she wanted should something have happened to her. If reintroducing your brother into the situation will cause harm to your mothers recovery then keep him away. Because your mother has decided to let her family "talk" for her your brother should be told. This may seem a little cold but choosing how family fights are to be finished and by whom is no different than writing a will, it should be done sooner rather than later.

2007-01-02 08:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think he deserves to be notified. What he does with the information is up to him. Maybe he'll come around and it will be a good thing, maybe not. But if you never tell him, then you'll always wonder "what if".

Either way, I hope your mother is feeling better.

2007-01-02 07:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0 0

Just MHO but yes, I think you should let him know. Who knows, this could be what resolves the differences that they have so that they can work on rebuilding the relationship. I'm assuming that you and your other brother are still in contact with him. I think he has a right to know.

2007-01-02 07:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i think that no matter what he has the right to know his mother has had a stroke i think if he really loves her he will know not to cause any stress on her and if he does then you will know that he does not care for her the way he should!!

2007-01-02 07:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by alvarez53403 2 · 0 0

Of course he deserves to be notified.

2007-01-02 07:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Definitively. He is the one that will have to live with whatever decision he makes.

2007-01-02 07:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by truefreedom21 3 · 0 0

She is his mom, too. By all means tell him--hopefully there will be a recociliation before it'd too late.

2007-01-02 07:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by wanda3s48 7 · 0 0

He needs to know, he can then have the choice of forgiving and forgetting, this is his only mama.

2007-01-02 07:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0 0

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