what to do about wedding gifts?

Question

Does anyone know of a polite way to request that if wedding guests would like to give a gift to give money or gift cards?? Or are there any places you can register where gifts can be sent to you?? I dont want to sound rude or anything, but my fiance and I are getting married in North Dakota and we are currently living in Alaska...I'm sure you can understand the trouble with trying to pack up toasters and blenders in our luggage to get it home. Just wondering if anyone has seen a way to do this so I dont sound like a greedy you know what that just wants cash :)

I guess I didn't realize that so many people think that even asking a question about wedding gifts is already being greedy (???) Isn't it common practice to give a gift when you attend a wedding??? At least it is at home....that's why everyone registers. I dont expect everyone to get us a gift, but just wondering how to let people know what we can use. Thanks for the advice so far from people that understood what i meant.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, there is NO right way to do this. You cannot put a card with your registry information in you invitation, that is "greedy" and "rude." Though most people know that attending a wedding means buying/bringing a gift, the idea is not supposed to come from you. I know, it's crazy. Why register if you're not supposed to tell anyone?

The trick to it is you have to tell you maid of honor/best man or parents or others in the BRIDAL PARTY (men and women) to spread the word for you. You can't go telling grandma and cousin Larry. You have to be discreet, so it doesn't seem as if it comes from you, but is what those close to you think best...

GOOD LUCK, and congratulations!

Answer 2

Etiquete deems that it would be improper for there to be any mention of a gift with the invitation however I see nothing wrong with sending a postcard seperately listing where you are registered (as well as other info such as directions, hotel info, etc.) while at the same time mentioning that their gift is their presence but for those who would like to give a gift we have placed a few small items on our registry that we can easily pack or mail home.... You could also mention a charity that guests could donate too which would not require you to pack much. Many believe even mentioning a gift is tacky but it can be frustrating for those attending a wedding that may not be close with the family and wedding party. I went to a wedding recently and the couple made no mention of a registry and we didn't know anyone else attending so we just gave them $, but when we got there we found out they had requested through the grapevine that people just make charitable donations. Good luck and don't worry too much about norms and values. Do what you feel is right for your situation.

Answer 3

Have a money tree at the wedding. That is always nice. Your friends and family, some co-workers that know you well enough you can be honest and open. But people like to shop and buy gifts some wont do that and some wont think of that.

You can also write a letter in the wedding invitations about the wedding and the exciting move to Alaska!!! Then people might think oh gift card.

Or you can put a gift card in the inventations. And give them a balance of a $1 to $5 and make it a wedding one. So that mayslo get them thining. A empty gift card.and put just in case we love gift cards easy to pack and move

Answer 4

You can't ask for gifts or mentions gifts in any of your formal stationery for the wedding. You shouldn't expect gifts either. That being said, the recommendation would be that you don't register anywhere, then inform your family and attendants that if anyone asks about what to give, have them explain that since you live in Alaska and its so hard to ship things there, a gift card would be well-received. If you have a specific store that you would like gift-cards from...you might have them say something specific about what you would do with the gift card for example..."Well, I know they are trying to fix up their kitchen, so a gift-card to Home Depot would be great."

Answer 5

Don't register for anything. This will force some guests to have to ask what you want. Then you can say, well, truthfully...

You could also make it clear in the invitation that you will have to travel (Bob & Carol are making their home in Alaska. Their address is ....) people should be smart enought not to buy you a bulky gift if they know you have to travel or have something shipped to you.

If you give enough clues, people that are considerate will get the hint, but there is no way to directly ask. And some people just won't get it, and you'll just have to return it, ebay it, or ship it back.

Answer 6

Most people will ask where you have your wedding registry. When asked, you can just tell them you are not registered because of the geographic difficulties, so you would appreciate a gift card instead. Or, in the alternative, ask that guests send gifts directly to your Alaskan address. When you create a gift registry, you will need to provide your mailing address. If your guests know that the wedding is in one state while you live in another, they will probably bring a check in lieu of a gift anyway.

Answer 7

Please don't listen to suggestions that it is acceptable to put the request in your invitation, or that a "clever" thing to do is put an empty gift card holder in the invite. Wow...that just makes me cringe with it's tackiness. People aren't stupid, most will realize that it would be impractical for you to ship place settings for 12, or crystal vases, and will give cash or a gift card. Stores like Macy's will ship the gifts directly to you (if that is what the gift giver requests) but it will probably incur an extra fee since you are outside the continental US. If in the end you have to ship some stuff, oh well.

Answer 8

Don't register anywhere. If you have a shower, ask the host to indicate on the invitation "We suggests showering the couple with gift cards to XYZ Store" or something along those lines.

If guests wish to buy gifts, they can make their purchases online and the gifts can be shipped directly to you.

Also, look up "Wedding Wishing Well" - it is a common way for couples to ask their guests for money instead of gifts at the wedding.

Answer 9

a modern for the bridal bathe is needed. even if, while receiving a marriage invitation, that is not carved in stone that every person has to deliver yet another, extra formal present; yet, maximum folk do. you're travellers of the bride and groom and for this reason at the instant are not envisioned to deliver a modern to the marriage. many human beings get this incorrect and positioned registries in wedding ceremony invites, this may well be a significant breach of desirable wedding ceremony etiquette. Registries pass in bathe invites in undemanding terms. After having pronounced this, the weddings I attend are generally kin or very close friends and that's my own desire to furnish a shower present and a marriage present. in case you do not desire to purchase 2 presents it is totally as much as you.

Answer 10

You do have youreslf a problem. I cannt think of anyway nice . Just ask for cash or gift cards only. Most guess will know there no way to gifts back home and will understand. . But another problem most card will be from Walmart they got one of those up there in Alaska . No not making fun of your home state . I would like to visit up there and do some hunting and fishing.