what do you do when people envy you and are rude to you?

Question

i work behind a bar with girl 16yr ld girl (im 18) im tall, naturally long blond hair, slim, at university, have two jobs, and im in a relationship... i do my job well, get along with the customers, have pretty clothes as i work in a high street fashion store during the day. but shes the complete oposite of me...we get along well tho.
however since her folks found out that i earn alot more than her (i can do jobs she cant do/doesnt know how to) her parents hate me...they are rude to me, ridicule me, ignore me when i talk to them, if they do look at me its as though im something the dogs dragged in...they never have anything nice to say to me, even though i do my best to get along with them, asking how there xmas went and days been, complimenting them non stop... but nothing

my boss told me its coz shes jealous of me, thats not my fault...i cant ignore it, they make it obvious to everyone and put me down infront of customers and make things up about me. so childish.
what do i do?

i think your mistaken...its her PARENTS with the problem... not her...however she does talk negatively when she thinks im not there or cant hear her...

Answer 1

Don't worry about it. Your co-worker's parents don't have a heaven or hell to put you in. Why waste your time and energy with them? Your life sounds great. Let haters be haters, they're "haterism" won't do anything but cause them stress... let them stress themselves out. You just keep doing what you do best, being yourself.

Answer 2

Have you ever watched the really old Great Expectations, Pip was angry because men seemed to flock at Estelle, so she just says "Moths flock to a flame, can the flame help it?"
Don't worry about them, it does seem odd that it's the parents that have a problem, you would have thought they'd grow out of it. Plus you are meant to be paid more than her legally, when you reach 18 you must be paid at least minimum wage, which is about a pound more per hour than a 16 year old would get. Plus if you work in a bar then it is illegal for her to serve drinks, so you're doing more work anyway.
Do you trust yourself that you are liked and respected by your regulars? Because they will see right through her act and if you're friendly with them then they won't give a fiddlers fart - rise above it, and have a good day.

Answer 3

It is hard not to worry about it, nor ignore gits like that. First, I would stop being anything but professionally courteous to them. Go on and smile, however, it could make them horribly uncomfortable, because they could wonder what you are thinking. That is unless they are such thick a*oles that nothing reaches them.
What would make a world of difference is any kind thing you can do for their daughter, perhaps (with boss permission) to teach her a few new things. She won't replace you, but you may get experience that will help you in future.
The main thing I would not give the parents any extra chance to ignore or humiliate me.
Now, if I didn't care about my job, I would probably smile, and as I smiled pour ale over mum's thck nog about the time ale wound up it the old bastard's lap. (Laughing, when I had a job dealing with the public I would think of horrible things happening to people who were mean to me).
Since that isn't an option, one thing I might do, if I could get away with it, is to simply be extraordinarily slow in serving them, if I could get away with it. Those parents are so low they prolly stink the place up with their very presence.
If you like, imagine them sitting there in nothing but knickers and ragged shirts, knee deep in S*t. After all, their behavours and inner persons are about that lovely.
That Cheeky Lad

Answer 4

Maybe you could get a different job? Unless you can ignore it.... Or you could challenge them and ask them why they talk to you the way they do. Not an easy thing to do and you may just be told that you are the one with the problem. Personally I would either ignore them or get another job. It is only a bar job after all and there are plenty more.

Answer 5

It IS your friend and her families problem not yours whether they are jealose, that really is down to their own insecurities.

What you must do though is ask politeness, from them. You can't demand them to be pleasant but you can have a word with your boss about them being out and out rude to you. No one's paid enough to take rudeness. If you tell him or her you'd rather be somewhere else when they come into the bar and avoid them or solicit his/her help in dealing with it. He/she could possibly take your friend aside and ask her why her family is so rude to you. This will let her know it's been spotted, and it may make her ask her family not to come into your work place. I would guess that she's been saying negative things to them about you, and they are just firing the bullets she's given them. Anyway if you have a good relationship with your boss try and get them to give you some help on the subject.

Answer 6

So it's her parents that are giving you the grief, not her? The poor girl! She probably does like and perhaps even look up to you, and that could be what's causing the problems. Perhaps the parents are so hideous to you because you are what they hope their daughter will be, and they resent you because she hasn't lived up to their expectations - imagine what her life at home could be like if this is the case. They could also resent you because she's been singing your praises and they feel she should be looking up to them, not you.

It's an awkward situation and I would be sorely tempted to confront them; but do not do anything when you are at work. You could give them the excuse they're looking for to get you sacked for insulting customers. I'd do my damnedest to ignore them, no matter how hard it is, and be as nice as pie. That will probably end up winding them up more than anything else. If that doesn't work, then complain to your boss again. If it's a bar job, your boss could threaten to ban them for their behaviour.

Good luck...

Answer 7

Sorry but i do not believe you .Unless the the law has changed within the last year .A 16 year old cannot work behind a bar .I've worked in places where someone under 18 have glass collected .But they were not allowed by law to go behind the bar.

Answer 8

I have been in your situation many years ago and the lesson learned back then and still works today, is to rise above it. Offer politeness to her folks if you see them keeping it short and carry on your duties as you obviously are a hard worker. Do not change your character but build upon your awareness of others, is the best advice I can offer, upon that you will build a more fuller understanding of the many different characters in the world today.

Answer 9

Oh my God, they're adults!! Pity her having shallow parents like that. That's completely out of order treating you like that. Would you ask them why they have a problem with you and tell them and your boss that it's upsetting. Also they shouldn't know what you earn.. It's a sackable offense to discuss wages w co-workers in some places. Other than that the best you can do is to ignore them.. they're idiots who don't deserve your energy.

Answer 10

Your boss is at fault here, what is he doing employing a 16 year old to work behind a bar? As well being illegal for her to serve alcohol, she is not allowed to work late nights. I hope she is just glass collecting, wiping tables etc. Of course you should be earning more. He should not allow customers to treat his employees like this, especially when they are related to a fellow worker. Shame on him for not telling them it is unacceptable and if they carry on they will be barred.

Carry on being pleasant you, people are not stupid, they will see for themselves how unpleasant this couple are. I feel really sorry for this girl though, with such parents.

Answer 11

These kind of people only get the kick out of what they are doing IF you react in a way they want you to...which is just the way you are now. So I say, you turn the tables on them by agreeing with whatever they say...become ridiculous (like a farce) and totally react in a positive manner to what they say. But please do not talk to them unless you absolutely have to or be extra nice to them, just don't do what they are doing to you, because if not you're stooping to their level. Just play along with them...and soon they should get tired of it. Have fun! :)