I just cannot accept the fact that my ex and I are over. I loved him so much. I've constantly been crying over it. I just feel like I will be forgotten and that he doesn't miss me, eventhough I have been so good to him. We broke up because he has many problems and he doesn't want me to get involved in them because I don't deserve to be dealing with such problems. He is a drug addict, and it seems to have consumed him. I wish I could help him, but I know he doesn't want me involved in all of this. I really loved him and I wish he would go to rehab and we could get back together. I've been chatting with another guy that I have always liked a bit but I just don't feel like it will work. I would invite him to hangout but he would seem to have plans. He says that he wants to hangout but he gets so busy. It always seems to be at the times that I want to see him. We have been having nice conversations lately. I usually iniate them. I don't know what to do. I miss my ex.
2007-01-02 07:17:22 · 18 answers · asked by confused soul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if its over its over. Move on! Too bad
when it comes to drug addicts, they will always pick their addiction over you. You can't help them, and there is nothing you can do to change them. They have to want to change on their own. Sometimes you can try to force them by having interventions by getting everyone who cares about them to sit down and talk to him about it. Getting him to go to rehab would definately help him, but drug addicts don't want to go to rehab. They want to be drug addicts, that is why they are drug addicts. The ones that fight it on their own are the ones that don't want to be drug addicts anymore.
What kinds of drugs is he doing? If you know how bad it is its easier to help. If he's not too far gone maybe you can get to him before it gets even worse. If he's leaving you, than that probably means that he is getting worse. When they start to get worse they start running away from everyone they care about, cuz it makes them remember what terrible people they are, and by looking at you he sees that he has hit rock bottom. It makes him feel bad about himself, so instead of changing and becoming better, he gets rid of you to get rid of the guilt.
If you have anything you want to aske me specifically you can e-mail me and i'd be more than happy to share what i know :)
2007-01-02 07:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The new guy may not be the right guy. Probably, no guy will be the right guy for a while. Give yourself some time to grieve the breakup of your relationship. That is normal. At the same time, don't be afraid to make friends. Hanging out is great. The new guy may well sense that you are still in love with your ex and just doesn't want to get too involved until he knows that you are done with him.
The more time you spend away from your ex the easier it will become. Time has a way of healing. You won't be the same. But hopefully will take some good things away from the experience that will make your future life so much better.
2007-01-02 07:23:39 · answer #2 · answered by rbarc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would try and not start those conversations with him. The only thing that is going to get you through this is 1)time and 2) out of sight out of mind. Very few couples can maintain a friendship shortly if ever after they break up. This guy seems like he comes with a lot of baggage that you aren't ready to deal with and honestly I don't think you should have to even if you do love him. There are so many other guys out there with less problems. You are right in saying that you can't help him with his addiction, that has to come from within. I would stay busy, lean on your friends and family as much as possible that is why they are there. Also DONT CONTACT HIM....i know its easier said then done but really out of sight out of mind really does help things.
Hope this helps! Good Luck!
2007-01-02 07:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sam s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may not end but it will get easier. The best thing you can do for yourself is to keep busy. Hang out with friends, find some new hobbies, travel, etc. Right now things have to be the way they are. This doesn't mean it will stay like this but for the time being you can't torture yourself by dwelling.
As far as the new guy.....maybe you're not ready?! Take things slowly. Take each day as it comes.
2007-01-02 07:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay away from any relationship now. Be with you, you are worth spending time with. Find a comfortable place in life for you to be in. Are there any interests you would like to pursue? A photography class or pottery class maybe? Take a class at a local college for fun, to learn something new, mark something off your life list. Go to learn something not to meet anyone. If you want to meet someone, hook up with the girls and talk with them. It is time for you to leave the guy alone. He needs help, help that you can not give him. If it was meant to be your paths will cross when he gets his life on the right track.
2007-01-02 07:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about the break up....Your story sounds exactly like my wife and I about 5 years ago. I was doing the drugs and had all these problems and broke up with her. Identical to what you had explained.....But what i didn't realize was that all my problems were drug-related....I went to rehab and got myself clean, and then I missed her and by the grace of God she wasn't mad at me at all, and we got back together....Today, I have been clean for 4 and a half years and we are pregnant....If you was as good to him as you say you were then ya'll will be back together once all this blows over.....GOOD LUCK!!!!
2007-01-02 07:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by UNDERCOVER BROTHER 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need that in your life. You should be running as fast as you can in the other direction. I think you should consider talking to a therapist. This relationship is unhealthy and there is probably some deep seeded reason as to why you would wish to hold onto it. It probably has nothing to do with love. Work on yourself and someone who deserves love will come along.
2007-01-02 07:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the drug addict will get help when he is ready and you're not going to be able to to have much input about it.
Second, don't rush into another relationship. Deal with the one that has just broken your heart and learn from it. Only after you have dealt with it will you be able to move on and give yourself 100% to someone who is able to accept your love and reciprocate.
2007-01-02 07:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg! i am in the exact same boat. funny though cuz yesterday i stood up to him told him what i would like and what needs to change and of course he wasn't okay with it so i broke it off (knowing in my heart it wouldn't be over) and with in one day he came back crying but still wasn't excepting the facts so i said bye again one day later more progress. you got to stick up for yourself. i could give you advice like people have given me the typical you deserve better leave him blah blah but we both know that won't just happen. if i could only take others advice. right! nawh this is the first time i have done this and it seems to be working great. good luck!
2007-01-02 07:24:00 · answer #9 · answered by 909donna702 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you can never find what is instored for you if you keep on hanging up your head on to the past. Past is past. leave it behind. you have already done your part to help your ex. and that is enough. you have your life also, and he chooses to became like that. all you can do is to pray for him. Open up your heart for somebody else, your ex doesn't deserve you because he rejected you. if he trully loves you, he will allow you to help him. but he's been so selfish about his problem. and that is not your problem anymore. Accept the reality and move on with your life.
2007-01-02 07:27:08 · answer #10 · answered by KRISTOFFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋