interracial dating: what should i do?

Question

well i dont get why black guys give me so much crap about dating a white boy, i mean black gurls did the samething when they dated white gurls, because we wanted to stay in our race, but now that black womenhave decided to stop doing that, they wanna say stuff, i mean everybody stares at us because they arent used to seeing that combination, but is it necessary for them to say things to me and my boyfriend, i mean it was ok for black men to do and we got over it for the most part, but now that it is the other way around its different, i know black guys who only like white women but laugh at me and my boyfriend!!!! i wish we could get rid of all the double standards in this country, my question is should we ignore it or react to it!!!!!

i love him so much we have been together for 3 years i love some of the answers on here thanks!!!!!

and also to whoever said why would i want a small dick, all white boys dont have small penises and not all black men have big ones!!!! i like my man's just fine!!! he does his job great!!!!!

and i usually laugh or i kiss him in front of them to make them even more mad its so funny

Answer 1

i agree...i like black chicks...and im a pasty white dude

Answer 2

First of all don't let it stop you, date who you want to date.

My opinion is two fold.

If they are just staring, let them look. The more they see a black woman and a white man out on a date, the less novel it will be, and you will personally have helped to fight the double standard you (and many others) so dislike.

If they are rude, react by asking them why. Why do they feel that way? I would guess that most of them do not have a true, justified reason for having an issue with it. Tell them the reasons why you like each other and are attracted to one another. Maybe you can enlighten and open someone up by showing them how you feel.

I know that is a simple answer for a complex and frustrating situation. I hope that this helps and if anything, makes you feel a bit better.

Happy New Year.

Answer 3

I happen to disapprove of interracial relationships....though I myself have "tried" a few white guys I would never, ever marry one. I hate that black men prefer white women, I mean, how can any person prefer another person over his own? Experiment, sure, but to hear a black man say he'll "only" date white women because all black women are bitches...it makes my skin crawl with disdain. I'm like so you are calling your mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, nieces and daughters bitches. Because if they have a child by a white woman, the child turns out black. If the father is black, the child is black. Anyway, I don't think you should worry or react to anything anyone says about anything you do. It's your life. If those people aren't paying your bills, then brush them off and move on. If the man is making you happy, then okay. But my advice would be not to throw away all black men, they aren't all dogs, trust me. I have a good man, he's black as night, and he treats me like a princess. There are some good men out there.

Answer 4

T,

You are on the right track/ignore it. The main thing is keep it in your relationship and out of churches and politics. HEre is why; there is NO DIFFERENCE and NO STANDARD in religion or the current politics for equal rights of relationships. To stand out and make it a huge issue is what is loudly asking for the notice of that difference. The prejudice days of heard headed racism of the good old boys is over. Pay it no attention. As they cant stand it and stand up to yell their hate then they will lose all the credibility they "think" they have.

My own kids have said similar things that your own race seems to be telling you. It may seem like a lot to you, but ignore it. My kids have said things to me like, "She is with a Black person" or I cant believe that girl is dating that bario scum. I have to back them up and say wait a minute now. What makes it so different than my being with your mom and what does that make you? They go silent for a minute until they realize they forgot I am hispanic and their mom is hi-white. It is an easy argument with my kids but I do not try it with the hard heads or ignorant people on the street. I have no problem defending ourselves or if you and your boyfriend walked by and someone said something I usually make a sarcastic Jerry Springer remark about in-breeding. The fact is you never know what strangers are packin. Its not fist-to-cuffs anymore. If their prejudice has them feeling enough courage to make a smart *** comment to you then their IQ is just low enough for them not to consider consiquence of crime from carrying or using a gun in a hate crime. Thats a sad fact.

I will never forget when the Priest of our church sat us down in a room and said I need to let you all know (the board and search committee) that the next candidate is homosexual and I want to make sure you know before we go forward and I'll be glad to answer any questions. No one said a thing so I raised my hand and siad, "Just how did you figure out he was homosexual?" He siad he just knew. I added "What qualification does that make him over or underqualified for in this job?" He said it didn't, I said well since I sit here on this committee am I to assume you announced before I came in my first night that I am a heterosexual x-military mexican and you could answer questions about that? He said no - I siad good you are not qualified and you don't know anything about me. Retract your statement and let us form an opinion based on the JOB interview.

Get my point? I feel you are happy with your mate - keep it that way. Leave the smart ***'s behind where they will fade and give the relationship a real chance to make it!!!

I am recently separated from my best friend and lover and I miss her desperately. You can NOT imagine what it is like to lose that person from not being focused on the relationship. Give it a chance T.

Sorry for the mush - I wish you both PEACE in 2007, "Another year over....and a new one just begun"

Answer 5

So let me get this straight. You're black, your boyfriend is white, you're both happy. What's the problem?

People are talking... big deal, people are always talking. If you were dating a black guy... and you broke up with him, and dated another black guy... they'd still talk. They'd say "Oh, did you see her? She dates everybody, she's a sl*t"

And usually they say it because they're jealous that (a) they can't date you, (b) they can't date your man or (c) they can't get as much play as you/your man.

This is the same thing. The black guys who are talking, are probably just jealous that they can't get with you.

And if you think that white girls don't get talked about when they date black guys... you should take a better look around.

It's just ignorance. It's not worthy of a response.

Answer 6

Do what you want to do! Enjoy life as it is! People will FIND reasons to laugh and stare at you. It's just the way people are! If it wasn't this, it would be something else. Just be glad it's something this obvious and they didn't have to go hunting through your life to find something to make fun of you for! I hate it just as much as you do. I had a wonderful friend of mine (I call her my "Big Black Mama") say, "I don't get why black girls go for white boys. I mean, a black man and a white chick, ok." I called her on the carpet for that and told her how dumb and racist she sounded. People just do and say some of the stupidest things without thinking. *shrug* It's just life.

Answer 7

Ignore it. Those people are obviously miserable. The two of you should rejoice in the fact that you have found someone you care about. I'm Puerto Rican and My boyfriend is white. I have always been attracted to white guys & I'm used to people looking at us and saying things but I don't let it get to me anymore. My boyfriend knows that the guys who say things are jealous of his beautiful dark skinned lady and the girls are just stupid. Its silly that we still have these probelms in society. Just smile and let the words flow right past you. Congratulations on your relationship and I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Answer 8

Racism is still alive and kicking isn't it?! You and your b/f have been together for 3 years which shows that you have a strong relationship if you have had to deal with that crap the whole time. As hard as it is, try to ignore it. There are people out there who don't think that way.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I'm a black woman who at one time married a Jewish dude. And, you know what? It was never an issue for us, but, everyone else. If your relationship is good, keep it. And, to hell with everyone else and their miserable lives. A great thing about being your own person is the luxury of having to answer to no one. Girl go listen to Independent Woman by Destiny's Child, you'll feel better.

Answer 10

If someone makes a rude comment about the two of you being different races just tell them to grow up. Then just go about your business like nothing happened. It does not matter what race (color) a person is we are all still the same. Human

Answer 11

As a Black Man I say ignore it.
You have the right to be with whoever you want to be with.
And by reacting you feed into thier predice.
But if you are being harrassed definately do something.