What do I do to keep him in his bed without locking the door?

Question

I need help. Almost a week ago I asked a question if it was ok to lock my child in his room and almost everyone said no way and thought I was crazy. So after feeling horrible I stopped looking his door this week. Now he is staying up until 12 pm each night and still waking up early at 6 am. I pick him up and put him back in bed but he just keeps coming out. OR.. he falls asleep for an hour wakes up and we go thru the same process again. Now he is so sleep deprived that he is acting horrible and getting into everything, I am totally stressed out and tired (I also have a newborn that wakes up at night) and don't know what to do.
Also.. when I locked the door I unlocked it after he was asleep.
What do I do to keep him in bed? Will this ever end?
He also is not taking naps. I am SO STRESSED OUT!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and offer suggestions or help. I know it will help me. thanks.
Also, we have fire alarms and I have a baby monitor in my sons room, its safe

Answer 1

This is so funny. I am going through the same thing with my son. He is 18 months old and I am due to have another boy any day now. We took my son's crib out of his room to put in the new babies room and so now he is in a big bed.
At night, 8 PM, my husband or I put him to bed and sit on the floor next to his bed until he falls asleep. Sometimes he is restless and wants nothing to do with going to sleep, but we don't let him get out of bed and eventually he falls asleep and we walk out. We shut the door but not so that it latches so that if he wakes up in the middle of the night (which he will) he can come into our room, at which point we do it all over again, but at that time of night he just gives up and falls back asleep within a few minutes.
We do the same thing for naps, but if he won't settle down for a nap I just walk out and leave him in there and he will cry at the door and eventually fall asleep in front of the door! I will go in there after about 15 min. of silence and put him in his bed. But the best advise I can give you is to not cave in. You have to be very strict as to what you will allow him to do. Once you start something, see it through until it works! It will eventually work as long as you don't change things or give up. You just have to be patient. And by the way, I don't see any problem with telling him that it's bed time and walking out of the room. If he chooses not to listen to you when you say he may not get out of bed then he will have to accept the concequences which are being locked in the room. If you don't want to have to do that, then maybe try a baby gate so he can't get out of the room, but then you'd have to listen to him yelling at you? I'd rather just shut the door!
You didn't say how old he is?

Answer 2

THere is a difference between lockign your son is his room, and simply shutting the door. Try shutting his door, but leaving it unlocked. He should get the message. When my son gets difficult about taking a nap, I put him in his bed at nap time, and allow him to pick a book to read while he is lying in bed. This is usually enough to get him to sleep within 5 minutes.

On particularly difficult nights, I sing him to sleep with You are my SUnshine. That has been his sleep song since he was an infant. It still works, even if he is bouncing around just moments before lying down.

If this doesn't work, speak with his pediatrician. Your son may be acting out because of the new baby. Try getting him involved with the new baby. Have him bring the wipes and diaper when you change the baby. Offer to let him hold the bottle when you are feeding baby. Let him pick the book you read to both of your babies. His behavior may just begin to disappear.

Answer 3

I would make sure you get him to nap in the car and hopefully you can transfer him to bed without him waking. If he gets some sleep during the day he might be more ready to sleep at night. It's weird but my son is like that, the less sleep he gets the more wired and harder to wind down he his.

I stopped locking my son in his room and he keeps going into the kitchen cabinets before I can get to him. We also put a door alarm on his door because I couldn't hear him get up through the monitor.

I have recently considered double gating his doorway.

We tried the nice put him to bed silently routine a few days in a row. Eventually I started spanking him. Neither one seemed to work as well as my sitting in his room not talking until he falls asleep.

If I were you I'd lock the door- especially if you unlock it before you go to bed. Everyone needs some rest before the next plan of action.

Answer 4

I hear you! I went through this with my son too. Consistency is the key. When you put him to bed the first time, make sure there is a routine in place that goes the same way every night. ie: put on pajamas first,then brush teeth, go potty, then lay in bed and talk to him for a few minutes (what he really wants is your attention, give him a few minutes before bedtime), read a bedtime story, then tell him goodnight, you love him, you will see him in the morning. (say the same thing every night, keep the routine consistent). I give my son a choice at this point because he is afraid of the dark. I tell him he can lay in his bed and look at the book we read until he is sleepy and I will leave the light on, or he can get out of bed and I will have to turn out the light. (He always chooses lights on, and now he knows there is an undesirable consequence to getting out of bed).
The first week of this, you will need to be prepared to drop all other duties and play guard at the door. He will get up and you will expect it. The first time he does, you tell him what a sad choice he made because now you must turn off the light (or whatever other acceptable choice with consequence you gave him) FGollow through. Put him to bed, issue consequence without letting him argue (do not respond to anything he says). Leave the room and close the door again. Be ready to do this again oand again (only from her on out, you say nothing, pick him up, put him in bed, walk away. (NO talking, no responses to his actions. If you are unable to do this on the first night, you may need to allow him to fall alseep with the door open enough that he can see you ared standing in the hallway and he is not losing you in the night. You cannot talk to him if you must do it this way, you become a statue by the door (only there to serve the point that you are not going anywhere while he sleeps) Sometimes baby steps work better. If you must have the door open in the beginning, work toward closing it al little more each night. Whichever method (open door or closed door) You must not react to his outbursts, begging, crying, whatever. If he gets up put him back without eye contact or words after the first time. Keep the consistency in the routine and in yoiur method of discipline for this problem and he will come around. It is not an overnight fix, be prepared to battle for a few days, but stick to your battle plan and he will eventually get the right idea. When you are very frustrated try to remember that he is really mostly concerned about the separation from you, he wiull outgrow it. Good Luck, stay strong! you can do it!

Answer 5

Have you tried a child safety gate?

I lock my children (it sounds awful) in their room at night as my 21 month old would simply not sleep with the door open. I have a safety gate on their door and when my 21 month old is asleep I unlock the door.

My elder child (he is five) is old enough to understand why and can open the safety gate himself, in the morning.

I don't like locking them in but sometimes as a parent you have to do what works for you. I would normally suggest trying to start somesort of a bedtime routine (something that worked wonders with my elder child) but as you have a newborn I know from experience it is probably not the right time.

If it worked for you and your child continue what you were doing, when your other child is a bit more settled in his own routine I would do my best to change the situation.

Answer 6

My boy would not stay in his mattress, till at some point we've been walking by the department stores and he observed a doona conceal that he at once fell in love with. he's barely 2 even inspite of the shown fact that it had animals on it. I have been given it and advised him that if he keeps to be in his mattress then he could have it, if he gets out then i will take it away. so a tactics he has picked 3 doona covers of his selection and has been drowsing in his own mattress for the final 2 months.

Answer 7

Have you tried a baby gate on his door? Actually I have a 2 1/2 year old that climbs out of her crib that forces us to coddle and pat the back and lie on her floor etc.until she goes to sleep. This can take over an hour! So, I am dealing w/ this too!

Answer 8

You need to deal with this as quickly as possible. When I was younger (I was about 6 or 7), I went through something like this. I became sleep deprived and what resulted from that was a sickness that even doctors couldn't recognize. They knew it was from lack of sleep, but they had no idea what it was. I had IV's in my arms, a doctor coming to my house each day to check on me, and I missed almost 3 weeks of school. All because of sleep deprivation.

When he gets out of bed, put him back. Pick him up, lay him down, tell him "It's time for bed" and walk out of the room. If he gets up, do the same thing but don't say anything to him. Just lay him down and walk out. If he gets up a third time, spank him. He had a warning that he needed to stay in bed, and he continued to disobey. A pop on the butt will fix this quicker then you would imagine. When I was younger, a pop on the butt showed me mom meant business and I never did it again.

Answer 9

BIG bells going off here.....you have a newborn? This is why he is doing this! This is part of his adjustment to the new sibling. VERY common. Try to make sure he gets some focused one on one time every day. He is SCREAMING for your attention here.

What if you go lay down with him? Would he stay in bed if you layed with him until he drifts off? You could have quiet time, telling him stories you make up or rubbing his back and cuddling. (Or Dad could do the same.) Then he could have some time that he feels he is special and is the focus of attention.

Establish a bedtime routine if you don't have one yet. Bath, jammies, stories, cuddles, bed, etc.

Answer 10

My son doesn't stay in his bedroom when its bedtime either. So here is what we did...we put a stair gate on his bedroom door. Which means he is safe in his room, mummy and daddy can still see him and he can see us. Works as well as a door but much safer. Good luck.