He was my friend before and has been in love with me for over 5 years. i've never been in love with him but he gave me hell for never giving him a chance. so i did finally and since that day i've been waiting on myself to fall in love with him. i do love him, as a friend and now i feel that i've deceived him. we've lived together for a little under a year. i dont want to break his heart but i know he's not he the one for me. as the days go by i feel myself drifting farther away from him. i've also been delaying the breakup because he has a tendancy to get really depressed and thats hard to deal with, even being around him. i was going to wait until i planned to move anyway but thats not until august. i dont want to go through the torture of feeling like i'm lying to him and dont want to go through the torture of being "punished" by him for breaking up with me. i just dont know what to do.
2007-01-02 06:17:28 · 8 answers · asked by Destiny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First you need to find a place to stay. Then let him know how you feel. If you feel unsafe doing this, invite a parent or close friend to ensure your safety. Also, have someone help you when you move your things out. Don't let him make you feel guilty for the way you feel! If he is depressed, he needs professional help; it is not your responsibility even though it is hard for you to watch.
2007-01-02 06:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Lewis 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly what you are going through, I am dealing with the same thing. My live in boyfriend and I hve been together for a year. I am still going through a 2 year divorce and he's talking about marriage already. I'm also feeling bad because his father passed away in Feb. and he's been really down, but all I can say to you is be strong and talk, talk, talk just let him know that you love him but that he's not the one for you. Just let him know that you care for him as a friend. If he loves you like you say he will be happy to be your friend than to be nothing at all. Thnigs could get ugly if you let this go on without talking. I hope things work out for you.
2007-01-02 14:28:10 · answer #2 · answered by ljg62905 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've actually been in this situation - with the same man twice! I have a friend that I've only thought of him as a friend. He however has always been very much in love with me and he too would pressure me to just "give him a chance". Even though I knew I wasn't and couldn't be in love with him, I gave him a shot, I told him I'd be his girlfriend. It was difficult because I would often go out and meet guys I wanted to date but always felt "tied down" by him so we eventually broke up - the first time. He stayed close and became the friend who secretly pinned for me - even when I had other boyfriends. Something happen and he was really there for me, so I figured, maybe I was wrong to break up with him, back together we got - this time he moved most of his stuff in. Big mistake. I was even LESS able to tolerate him after his stuff was all over my place and I had to see him EVERY NIGHT. I finally had to tell him I made a huge mistake, that I loved him but couldn't "force" myself to be in love with him - as much as I tried. He moved out and we "friendly" now but no where as close as we used to be. It's for the best, even though he still loves me and is still alone, it's better to be alone than in a relationship with someone who doesn't want you. Trust me, your letting this man go will help you both in the long run. Good luck.
2007-01-02 14:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I hate to tell you this but that's life. Sometimes we can't get what we want and make other's happy at the same time. Now you have to ask yourself how long can you not only decieve him but yourself as well . And is it really worth it? Your going to w/o a doubt hurt this guys feelings by leaving but its the right thing to do if its what you feel in your heart. Don't blame yourself for him getting depressed we are all responsible for our own feelings.
2007-01-02 14:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by BluLizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with shannon r, good advice, no matter what be honest. Good luck.
2007-01-03 12:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by snoweyowl44 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw all of his belongings on the porch while he is at work.
2007-01-02 14:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by Abu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep his stuff. Just change the locks.
2007-01-02 14:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by Pretending To Work 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
throw all of his stuff on the front yard .... he'll get the hint
2007-01-02 14:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by blueyedimpledguy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋