How can I focus on something else besides my boyfriend?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been talking for almost 3 months. Everything is great except that he never calls me back when he says he will. We usually talk atleast once everyday. But lately he hasn't been calling me. The last time we talked was at 12:00 a.m. on New Year's to tell each other happy new years. Then he said he would call me back and never did. He didn't call me all day yesterday. I want to call him but I feel like I call too much so i was trying to give him a chance to call me first. Now it's like I'm anxiously waiting for his call. Last night I didn't even get enough sleep because I was upset and worrying about why he didn't call me yesterday. This morning I woke up sad because i looked on my phone and realized he hadn't called me. I know this really sounds ridiculous but i can't stop thinking about him. We have not had sex with each other and I don't plan on it especially if I'm feeling like this. We don't say 'I love you" to each other so I don't know why I feel so caught up

I would really appreciate some feedback. No BS answers please.

We also only see each other on the weekends, so I think that talking on the phone would benefit the relationship.

Answer 1

Men forget. You have only been together a few months. Give him a break. Don't worry about it and don't think about him calling you and the time between calls will go by a lot faster.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I know how you feel. It seems like if you keep calling him or tell him about it, that you'll seem clingy and needy, and that's what men dislike. But you definitely shouldn't dump him for being this way. Try working it out instead...or else you'll always wonder what could've been.

i would suggest spending a good amount of time with him during the day. Do you see each other often? outside of school or work? Because the more you see each other, the more you understand each other. Going on dates and spending a lot of time together will make him see how special you are and how much he will WANT to call you.
after spending several pleasant days together, assuming you still feel the same way about each other, don't call him for a set amount of time. I want you to set the number of days yourself because only YOU can control that. Don't even check if he called during that time. If he calls and you happen to miss it, then it'll show him that your life doesn't happen to revolve around him. Trust me, he'll like the chase. If you're strong enough, and for the best results, answer when he calls the second time, and when you talk to him sound happy and occupied. Men love independant women who have a lot going on in their lives. They then feel honored that you're making space for him in your life.
....if he DOESN'T call in that set period of time, then it looks like he isn't interested enough, even after spending a lot of time together. You could just end it without any painful talks, or you could tell him how you feel and what you want (not NEED but WANT, that's what he wants to hear). You might try saying that you don't need him to call you, but you would love it if he would call. Say that you miss his ringtone! make it light, and not too heavy. If that leads towards the better, then great! if not, then it looks like you should look for a guy who treats you more like a princess. THAT is what every woman wants, am i right?
good luck!

Answer 3

Wow! You haven't learned that there is a lot of men out there, that tell you they will call you back and never do. I know I have a great boyfriend, but he hates talking on the phone, its the same old thing, what are you doing, how's your day going, blah blah blah, anyways, if you really want to talk to him that bad call him, most guys don't want to pick up the phone and call, mine will now but at the beginning of the relationship, if I wanted to yap on the phone I had to pick it up and call him. On New Year's Night he was probably hanging around with his buddies, having a good time, and forgot to call you, and sleep all day yesterday, just pick up the phone and save your insanity, call your boyfriend up and talk to him.

Answer 4

Call him and leave him a message telling him you miss him. You need to initiate the calls once is awhile too.
However, if you are sick of waiting for his call backs just go for a walk, do some exercise, read a book, go shopping with some friends. Do something to build you into a better person..like volunteer one weekend at a homeless shelter.

There are bigger things in this world than waiting for a dude to call.

Answer 5

You're smart to be holding back until you figure out what's going on with him. It's possible that someone else has caught his eye. It's also possible that he just needs time to himself or perceives you to be clingy. In any event, focusing on yourself for now may be in order. You can still think about him in the meantime though. For instance, when you workout you can imagine him noticing that you're in better shape. Same w/your diet choices and study habits. You want to be able to keep up (whether it's with this guy or someone else). Your relationship is just getting off the ground and that should be the fun part, so don't rush anything. You've made smart choices up until now.....so continue on. Good Luck

Answer 6

I think it's best if you do these little gestures to him, like calling and saying "I love you" to him, and hopefully he will reciprocate these little actions. Maybe he also doesn't know where to begin, so give it some time and act on your expectations from him, by doing them yourself. If he loves you enough, saying "I love you" or calling you shouldn't be much of a bother. If this still doesn't work, talk to him and tell him your feelings about this matter. Hope everything works out for the best. :)

Answer 7

Girl, we've all gone through this at some point. The silly little boys get us so hung up on them. They know it too.
Just relax and breathe. You're so overwhelmed by this that it's consuming you. I say pick up the phone and get answers. Life is too damn short. Better to find out now rather than investing more time for nothing. If he's the one then you should be able to present all your emotions to him and get your answers.
Just do it, do it now... don't wait. Get your needs met and move on with your life (him with or without you!)

Answer 8

I say get a hobby, do something different that you might like. For example, I have no artistic background but I started painting and it is pretty fun! You could also find a good book to read, find a great game (I'm obsessed with The Sims) or maybe exercising.

Answer 9

The truth is he's trying to avoid you. Your probably a nice person but he is not mature enough for a relationship, he may also like someone else. Don't agonize ask him and if he beats around the bush, let him go. No one needs unnecessary drama in their life. Besides it's a new year, start fresh with someone who wants to talk with you.

Answer 10

Hi! Look, i don´t want to make you feel even sadder but i´ve been thru the same and i know how it feels like. I used to feel that anxiety for my ex-boyfriend because he was very busy all the time and seldom called me. When i was at work, i used to get very nervous when i couldn´t get home at 6 thinking that he could go to see me and leave because i wasn´t home (he did it lots of times). Then, I realized he wasn´t taking our relationship seriously and he took for granted that i loved him. I said myself that i deserved someone who really loved me and care for me. And i broke up with him. After that, i started doing things i didn´t do just to be at home waiting for him or his phone calls (go to the cinema, to the zoo, to the beach, to the mountains, watch TV, chat on my pc, go out with my friends). It´s my life, so i have to enjoy it and feel happy. Trust me, i was very unhappy living like i used to with that guy. And you know what? Now i´ve found a great guy who loves me lots and i love him as well. I don´t feel stressed or anxious, just happy and blessed. I really hope my experience can help you. Good luck girl!!! Remember: You need to be happy, so go for it and don´t attach yourself to someone who doesn´t even care for you as you deserve.