Should I just go for it?

Question

I'm 26 and my husband is 31. We've been married 3 years, together for almost 6. We live in a townhouse and live off his income and have a ton of savings (most of which is for a new home, but we have not been able to find one due to inflated prices here). We have a good relationship are well-educated, ect. Our current plan is to wait over 3 more years to ttc, so I'll have the baby at 30. We have not lived a wild life or traveled much and it does not feel like we have something to look back onto as we move forward into being parents. However, I'm career-less at the moment and am feeling very unfulfilled. I know it's selfish, but I'm bored and I have a lot to offer a baby. I don't have babyfever. I used to when I was younger, but my husband wasn't ready and it went away. He says he's ready now. I want to lose some weight and get in shape, but after that should I just go for it? Or should we wait out the original 3.5 more years until we ttc? The plan was to wait for a house and to travel.

We don't pray. Please don't tell me to look to God to solve this. I respect your beliefs, but involving God won't help me.

Answer 1

Sure loose wieght and get into shape and try to stay in shape for a t least a year. But before you go on holiday and make a baby, Volunteer your time and help people, whatever you think will give you fulfillment. Do this while you are getting in shape.
You and your hubby should take one great vacation when it's time then let nature take it's course. If you are both ready for it and feel good about each other and making a baby, go for it.
Don't forget the folic acid.

Answer 2

If you feel ready, maybe you should talk to your husband about trying now. If you wait, it may not happen as soon as you want it to. Especially if you're taking hormonal birth control, it can take up to a year before it is completely out of your system, depending on what kind it is. I was 21 when I had my baby, & (not to be too crude) me & my husband had been having unprotected sex with no birth control for over a year before I got pregnant..... and new research (i've seen on tv) is saying that women's "clocks" are ticking alot faster than first thought.... alot of women no older than 30-32 are having a lot of trouble conceiving. This may not be the case for you (you may both want to see a fertility specialist if you want to wait to try & foresee any possible problems with conceiving) & if you are ready, & want to devote your time to a baby, & if you both think you'll be fine financially with a baby (or multiples, you never know, i'm a twin) in the picture, then I say you should start trying now. I kinda have a belief that if it happens, it was meant too. And at the right time. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my baby, & think "why didn't I wait a while longer?", but then I realize how much I love her & where I would be in my life right now if I didn't have her. Babies take up the majority of your time & energy, but if you have it to give, & lots of love, then I think you're probably ready now. So I say talk with your hubby & go for it! Good luck!

Answer 3

If you think that you are ready for a baby, then by all means go for it. A baby means alot of work and basically giving all of yourself to someone else. There will be practically no privacy for yourself for atleast 3 more years. If you think you need to wait then do that, but remember just because you plan it in 3 years doesn't mean that it will happen. For some couples it takes up to a year to concieve and then 9 more months to have the baby. If you think that you will resent this baby for having it now then wait. Or compromise and travel and lose weight for this year and start trying next year.

Answer 4

As long as you and your partner are in agreement and both ready - then go for it. Plan a big romantic vacation, and use that time to try! You are in a good place to have a baby - it's wonderful you have a home and the time to devote to an infant. You can't keep waiting for the next thing, or plan the timing - at a certain point you just have to go for it. We debated the same things, and have never regretted our leap into parenthood. We don't miss the wild nights out, and we still manage to travel. Staying at home and playing with our baby girl is now the most wonderful thing in the world.

Answer 5

Frankly, if you are feeling selfish, now is not the time to have a baby. The list of what to wait for is endless, because the job of parenting is endless.
Lose weight, get in shape? If you are at a healthy weight, stay there and walk for exercise, and you will be fine, but dieting and excessive exercise will be for naught since weight gain and some slowdown in exercise is usual. Save the big body revamps for after the babies.
You have money, time and love, all you need now is the ability to give of yourself unstintingly at all hours and all times. That may take 3.5 years or it may never happen, but babies have lived in dresser drawers for a crib and been loved just as much as babies in million dollar boutique nurseries.
There is one caveat though, if you start trying to have a child at 30 and have problems, you have less time and more difficulty in treatment the longer you wait.

Answer 6

Try now. When I started trying to get PG, I waited 5 years before I got pregnant. I begged God for a child. I was afraid I was barren. Our children are gifts from God.

Answer 7

trying to have a baby can take months, even years-- so just because you want to get pregnant at 30, doesn't mean you will. Esspecially as you get older, you get less fertile. (Your eggs start increasing after the age of 24) If you wait too long, it may be too late.

Answer 8

If you wait for the "perfect" time.....It'll never happen! Sounds like you guys need to pray about this...together! Only God knows when it's right for the two of you. Try prayer, it works. Just remember to give Him time to answer you! The answer will come, you need to have faith. God Bless you both!

Answer 9

i would travel and buy a house first