So me and my now ex were hangin out the sunday before christmas and i noticed that he had blood running down the side of his face i asked him to look at me and he said no so i moved his face in the direction i wanted it to be but he got upset and smacked me and said Girl i said no and thats what i meant now we then got into a heated arguement after about 20 mins of arguing i felt it was dumb for me to sit and argue with him so i left the day after christmas i was online and when he logged on he asked if i was mad and i replied what do you think a few days after that he started sending me messages and appologizing and telling me how he missed me and wanted to get back together i dont want to get back with him because i dont want him to do what he did but i do want to get back with him because i love him.
what should i do?????
2007-01-02 05:11:55 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Forget him! Do you REALLY want to be stuck in an abusive relationship? He's an abuser and they don't reform...they just stop hitting for a while. They ALL run the "I'm sorry" routine. They ARE sorry for a little while, but you WILL get hit again. He's no good.
2007-01-02 05:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I once stayed with a man that I thought I loved. And the first time he hit me I left. And then the same thing happened, he was sorry, he missed me, and he'll never do it again. Well I stayed with him for almost two years and now have a daughter together. I didn't leave because I loved him. Let me just say, he did it again. I finally realized that what we had togeteher wasn't love, it was control. So I got the courage and left. My advice to you is keep him out of your life. If he hit you there is a big chance that he'll do it again. Don't do the mistake I did and stay. Make the right choice and leave. Hope this helped good luck.
2007-01-02 05:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by MARJ213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You show you still care for him. However, he hit you. That says it all. No amount of talking takes that back, no apologies makes it hurt less, You deserve a man who is a caring and loving human being. This all happening at Christmas. Whatever happened to cause the blood, well, needless to say he was feeling ashamed and guilty so guess what you pushed his buttons too. Do you think you two are a good match? How do you feel about gasoline and matches? Good luck.
2007-01-02 05:23:52 · answer #3 · answered by Miki M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take that smack as an into as to what the future will be with him. Ask your self if this is the life you want. The tipical abuser behaves exactly the way he did, smack you then apologize, the smacks will turn to punches and the apologies will become flowers, gifts and the best sex you ever had and you will start to blame yourself everytime he hits you "why did I say that", "He's just tired", "I need to know when to leave him alone" woo, woo, woo. Run away while you still can!!!
2007-01-02 05:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by dragonslayer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say just forget him if you are going to be in arguments and going to get hit by someone who is just going to play a game of getting back together and possibly smacking you again. I you truly believe this is love and you haven't gotten in really bad arguments before and there was a good reason why he didn't want you to see the blood on his face then go ahead and get back together but if he ever gets mad at you and hits you again get out of that relationship as soon as possible because if he hits then he is obviously not treating you right.
2007-01-02 05:32:10 · answer #5 · answered by engaged princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I eat dinner in a place where teenagers date. I've noticed that some of the boys are mildly abusive to their girlfriends. Some of the girls refuse this behavior and the boy. Others seem to warm up to it. I suspect its just like mommy loves daddy, or negative attention is better than no attention. YOU need to decide if you want to spend a major portion of your life being abused.
Drugs and alcohol may seem fun and innocent, but go look behind the dumpster at the dead addicts.
2007-01-02 05:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by charlie at the lake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there !!!! Relationships are so important and crucial in our lives. Sweetie you have to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with yourself. Has this happened before ?
I do not believe that a relationship should have an agressor. Love is blind many times, we even blame ourselves for things that go wrong many times. ( trying to justify other peoples actions)
Relationships should be loving, filled with trust and fidelity.
This could have been a mistake on his behalf, he is sorry now like you said. Be very cautious , many times violence is like a circle, things start off good, they get bad, then the agressor feels guilt and the honeymoon phase begins, then it starts all over again. ( many times getting worse as time goes by)
You have to search for your self worth darling. Do not allow anyone to strike you in anger or make you feel less than what you are. We are all spiritual beings having a earthly experience.
Speak to him, let him know how you feel deep within. Do not judge him or try to figure out why he did what he did. Ask him. Let him know you will not tolerate it ever again. His hands should caress you , not hurt you. ( and vice-versa)
Love is the universal language that is within us all, for we are created by God in love. Love need not be painful though. You are a special being, you have to love yourself, respect yourself.
Thoughts are things girl, we attract things with our mind like a magnet. Just think of situations when you wanted something, be material or a result in any situation, remember how you felt ? Secure of yourself and the results. Just think of what you want in your life and visualize it. Believe it deep within.
I wish you only the best, may you find a peaceful resolution for your situation , but do not sell yourself short.
Life is to short to be unhappy. Live life to its uttermost. Bathe in the rays of the sun, enjoy the different shades of green all over in nature. Gaze at the stars at night, look at the vast blue sky. Be happy and realize that we are in control of what we allow in our life.
Blessings to you
Love light and peace
2007-01-03 04:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly can forgive him and believe he will never do it again get back with him on the condition that he will see a counselor about his anger.
If you feel you can never forgive him you need to move on no matter how hard it may be. Hitting is unacceptable no matter what the situation.
Talk to a friend or family member and get Their advice because they will know the situation and your b/f better then me.
But under no circumstances get back with him if he refuses help. He needs to see someone about his anger asap.
2007-01-02 05:16:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have called the police when he hit you.
Was that the very first time he hit you? If so everyone should get a second chance. There's a lot of added stress during the holiday to go along with the spiked eggnog.
2007-01-02 05:16:30 · answer #9 · answered by Mr_B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i was in a relationship like this and the 1st time he hit me he said he would never do it again, so i forgave him and about a month later he did it again and then constantly for a year after,
i would say listen to your heart but i did and then it got harder and harder to get out of.
Do the right thing and leave him find someone who really cares about you, you deserve better than him.
Hope this helps x x
2007-01-02 05:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋