I go to college forty miles away from my parent's home. I secretly live with him and can't tell them. We truly love each other and been together for 1 1/2 years. He works and helps pay for alot. We plan on getting married one day, but definately not until I'm out of school. My parent's are putting me through school and paying for my cell phone, car, medical, dental, etc. insurance. I'm scared if they find out, they'll cut me off. What do I do?
2007-01-02 05:08:18 · 30 answers · asked by Cari 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Do you really think that they would cut you off? They might be disappointed in you or ask that you not live with him and you should respect that.
Personally, in this day and age, it's actually really common. I am also in college and mom & dad paid for it for awhile, but now I do. At the time they were paying for it, I had gotten engaged and my now husband and I purchased our first home. My parents didn't care.
Don't be upset if your parents get POed. I don't think they will cut you off, but you have to respect them. They just want to make sure that you stay focused in school and that you can complete college without the drama of living with a boyfriend.
2007-01-02 05:22:11 · answer #1 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Do your parents make your choices for you? No. Perhaps it's time you stop running from your parents opinions (or what you think they might say) and be who you want to be. Not who they want you do be. If your not living in there house then you get to make your own rules. If they love you (and I'm sure they do) they might be mad for a time, but they will get over it. If they can't that's there problem anyway. Not yours. Live your life. You only get to do it once. Yes. You might get cut off. That's what being an adult is all about. Making choices and living with them.
2007-01-02 13:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by Evolving 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with your parents. My sister-in-law lived secretly with my brother for a year. We (my parents & I) knew they were living together and didn't know her parents and sister didn't know. Needless to say at the wedding reception the truth came out...my sister-in-law was mad for weeks about it. I don't know what her parents did/said to her, but all could have been avoided had she just been as honest with them as she had been with us. I can't imagine living a lie to my family. If you two are so much in love you shouldn't be ashamed and lie about it. Take responsibility for your actions or quit living together.
2007-01-02 13:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, they are certainly within their rights to cut you off when they do find out. If you are ready to live with your boyfriend and be on your own, then you should be ready for the consequences and that means being on your own and paying your own way in life. If you want to keep your parents respect for you, you should tell them and be prepared for the consequences.
2007-01-02 13:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough situation especially if you are still dependent on them with all your bills. What did you tell them about your housing situation? if you told them that you are living in the dorm and that they are paying for it, then you just hope that they dont find out. If you told them that you are living in an apartment and that you are paying it with your own, then you shouldnt worry much except if your parents dont like your bf. In anyway, you just hope they wont find out.
2007-01-02 13:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you live with him and they haven't found out this long, you'll be alright. He helps you do a lot and that's good. It gets very hard at times and you need someone there for you. Your parents do a lot for you too so if it's working out the way it is, you should just keep it that way. Your parents would just have to understand that things are working out for you that way.
Good luck
2007-01-02 13:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by Brownie_baby 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to them. Theyre going to be more upset if something happens and they find out. Be honest with them. Maybe give them a hypothetical situation to see how they will take it. But, if you're in college you're old enough to make your own decisions. So good luck with your parents.
2007-01-02 13:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by B U Tiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have that type of fear, you need to move into your own place until you do finish school. Other than that you need to be honest with them, and get cut off. Just make sure you have a job lined up before telling them.
2007-01-02 13:10:52 · answer #8 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
So you do know right from wrong. Still you seek your own pleasure at the expense of your integrity. You have foresaken your parents...the one's who spent their lives raising you as best they could...who are probably paying to send you to school. Instead you are abusing the gift for your own self-pleasure and interests.
I suggest you come clean...get your own place...rebuild your integrity...take the heat with a big dose of humbleness.
2007-01-02 13:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by BowtiePasta 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two options:
1. Move out. OR
2. Plan on paying for your own bills.
Sorry, you can't have your cake and eat it too.
If you are enough of an adult to live how you want, then you are enough of an adult to pay your own bills.
Can't pay your own bills? Then you're not an adult and shouldn't be violating your parents' trust and their values. To say nothing of lying to them.
2007-01-02 13:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋