My 8 year old's dad was called to active duty. He will be going on Jan 6th. Now she is acting out at home and at school. Anyone have any ideas on how to make this easer for her and me!!!
2007-01-02 04:57:24 · 13 answers · asked by katnerin 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I'm sure you and your husband have talked to her and have tried your best to console her. She's worried about her dad and knows she and yourself will miss him. You need to find a group for children that dad's are in the same situation. It will make her feel as though she isn't alone. Do some research in your city and find a program for her and yourself. This isn't going to be easy for you either.
2007-01-05 06:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was deployed when my son was almost two and I was pregnant with my second. One thing we did was put up pictures of daddy everywhere. My husband would write letters and call when he could. I talked about him all the time. Let her know that daddy has to leave and help other people but that he will be back. Tell her that daddy will write her letters and maybe have him write her one before he leaves that she can read on the day he goes. Talk to her teachers and let them know what is going on at home. You may also want to talk to the school counselor to get some ideas. I know this is a hard time but you both will adjust. Good Luck
2007-01-02 13:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for her is talk to her. Let her see that you, too have concerns, and emotions about her father leaving. Let her openly tell you how she feels without comment. Retell her what she tells you in your own understanding so that she knows you hear her. Discuss together what you both can do to comfort each other and fill in the gaps while he is gone. Let her know that you recognize the loss, sadness, worry, anger, (whatever she brings to the table) in her, and that this is normal and okay to feel, (you probably feel the same way) but that both of you have to find a constructive way to let those feelings out. Be understanding, be open. Try, try, try, to not ever be angry as a result of her actions, but do let her know when her actions are not appropiate outlets. Give her options for alternative actions. So sorry, for both of you. I imagine your lives are difficult right now. Good Luck.
2007-01-02 05:06:44 · answer #3 · answered by Irish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her he will still be able to talk to her and she can send letters.School teachers are also great at sending a parent letters from the whole class.My husband was actived for the Persian Gulf war and had 5 children home at the time.Spend as much time with her and even the school will allow her to be absent till he goes away.Get her school work and have daddy help her with it.Go on walks or do whatever you can think of till he leaves so he devotes all his time with her.
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2007-01-02 05:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by michelle j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son went through 2 deployments in 3 years. He always acts out at school. If you ask the school for her to see a counselor, it helps right away. They send home a piece of paper and the school will usually act on it right away.
At home, if we stayed focused on projects for his return, it always helped. He seemed to work alot of things out himself just by writing his dad letters that I promised to never read. It was between him and his dad. And we made scrapbooks of the family and a couple of care packages that he made.
She'll get through it, in time, my son got so used to the deployments and field trainings that it actually scared me how disconnected he can be. But the school counselor always helped immediately. Stay in contact with the counselor. They can't tell you everything, but they will always tell you if you need family counseling. Or any other suggestions.
2007-01-02 05:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by LuvMy4Kids 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time for the rest of your family to help. Get together with male family members she can cling to a little while Dad is serving our country. (By the way, thank you for your sacrifice for my freedom!) Remind her that this is dad's job and there are people out here that think he is a hero (like me). If you don't have any male family near by, look to friends and your community for help. Get together with other families that have serving members, they will be your best support as they are going through it as well. Thank you again, and God Bless You!
2007-01-02 05:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for Dad to talk to the child and reassure her that he will do everything possible to come home safely. Maybe they can email each other often and send letters etc. Its really hard I am sure but I think Dad needs to talk to her.
2007-01-02 05:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know why hes being called to duty , explain to her how important it is as a family dont leave her out on anything. shes prob. thinking shes never going to see daddy again. get her involved with other kids that are going through the same things
2007-01-02 05:01:42 · answer #8 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If assurance will help, let her know that her Dad and all the ones serving the country, and their Families are in our prayers. God bless you and Happy New Year.
2007-01-02 05:11:44 · answer #9 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just takes time. might try a naval wives fourm. as they have lots of expierance on their husbands being deployed. they might have a few things for you to try. but in the end its just going to take time for your daughter to adjust with her father not being there. any time a childs routine is altered they have problems and act them out.
2007-01-02 05:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jecht 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋