Ex-Wife's Catholic Ritual on Daughter Unusual?

Question

My ex-wife, a filipina, wants incense to be burned daily and have the smoke go around our seven year-old's body and have her breathe in some of the smoke too. Not being too familiar with Catholic rituals like this, I am wondering whether this is unusual or not.

What she wants done is to light a piece of charcoal and have it burn for a few minutes and then sprinkle some special "sand" on the charcoal that gives off the incense smoke. Then it is to be waved about in our daughter's room and around her as it supposedly gives some spiritual protection according to her. Then she wants our daughter to breathe in some of the smoke too.

All of this is strange to me although I've seen the incense burning in Catholic churches when I've been there. What was particularly scary though to me was that she was showing our daughter how to pick up the lit charcoal with a pair of tongs and it had a flame of about three to four inches while it was burning! I would never let her to do this of course!

Answer 1

This definately isn't a Catholic thing -- it's a Philippine ritual collectively called "suob." You can read about it here:

http://www.stuartxchange.com/Palaspas.html

Answer 2

The Roman Catholic Church observes seven sacraments. However, it also observes multiple 'sacramentals', that is, actions that are grace attaining and faith affirming. Among these are the use of blessed candles, scapulars, holy water, and incense.

Your wife is using the physical act of incense as a prayerful experience, and if you wish your wife and daughter to live prayerful lives in their Catholic faith, then this should be of no concern.

I would not recommend allowing a child under the age of 12 to light the special charcoal briquette. As you have noticed, it flares up rapidly and hotly (this is due to the use of salt petre in the manufacture, so the coal will light quickly and evenly), and this can be startling to a young person, who may drop it. From 12 - 16, the child may be allowed to light it, but only with parental supervision. After 16 or so, the child is usually mature enough to comprehend the actions and the safe handling of the materials.

The smoke should not be too directly inhaled, simply because smoke, no matter the source, is a respitory irritant and, also no matter the source, can contain harmful chemicals or other 'gunks'. For example, I have a censer that I have to scrub with steelwool because it builds up a thick crust of frankincense when I burn that herb. Imagine if that was going into my lungs instead!

Instead of viewing this as a strange and distance-building ritual, why not enter into it? Even if you do not share the ideal of the sacramental, surely you can spend the time as a family, and if you are Jewish, Christian, or Muslim, and thus worship the same God, you can say the prayers out loud together to honor that one God.

Answer 3

I'm Catholic myself but I've never heard of anyone picking up the incense or breathing it in.
True it's for protection but it's burned as part of a ceremony or to light a candle for a person who has passed on.

Answer 4

I am actually not familiar with this practice, never heard of it. The incense in itself does not concern me, but handling fire at a young age and breathing in smoke does concern me. Perhaps you can ask your ex if there is another ritual she could perform with the same results that was a little less dangerous.

Answer 5

The Catholic Church does use incense to bless people and objects during masses and other rituals, but I've never heard of a ritual such as the one you are describing. It sounds more cultural than religious to me.

Answer 6

in line with risk she's not forgetting. in line with risk she's thinking attempting actually parenting and not drugging your baby. word: I extremely have an older stepbrother who's completely concepts broken purely from 3 months of ADHD drugs. do you be attentive to how confusing that is to purpose and seek advice from somebody who's consistently stomping their ft, giggling, has to stay in an person domicile of their 20's, and you could't comprehend them.... all mutually as understanding that they have got been extremely completely wide-spread until now they very almost died from a toxin overdose from prescribed drugs? I extremely have not yet met someone who were on ADHD prescribed drugs for better than a 12 months that can't cope with being interior the solar without migraine. there is extra to evaluate than what some jackass in a in large condition tells you.

Answer 7

I am Catholic, and never have I heard such nonsense.. Catholics follow the teaching of Jesus Christ the founder of the Church on Earth. Nothing else. This woman is crazy and should be reported.. Good Luck..

Answer 8

My concern would be any breathing problems such as asthma developing. I don’t think that young children should be exposed to any unnecessary air particles such as in smoke. If this is to somehow protect the child, we don’t need rituals to receive God’s protection.

Answer 9

As suzanne said it's called suob and it's not meant for spiritual protection but physical protection and healing it's ancient phillipino tactics mixed with religion but it isn't actually catholic.

Answer 10

Sounds interesting.. I have never heard of this catholic ritual