after my mom's funeral we were left wondering if we should send individualized thankyou cards?

Question

if we should send them how do we find address to send them to i know phone numbers names and most cities where they reside.

Answer 1

I would send them... It's a very nice jesture. We sent them out after my grandmother passed away.

Usually everyone will sign the book and our book had a spot for addresses. If you don't have their addresses, you could get them from somebody that does or use:

www.whitepages.com

That is a pretty good site if you know their names and cities. Surely someone in your family will know the city and state that they live in. All you can do is the best possible.

I'm sorry for your loss...

Answer 2

It all depends on the practice of the locality and culture. It is not absolutely necessary but it is polite to acknowledge with thanks if you have received condolence cards (which will have return address of the friends). For those in attendance at the funeral, it suffice to say thank you after the funeral though some people send cards. If you receive a condolence phone calls then you can thank at the end of the conversation. People will understand if you could not send a card since bereavement in the family is a traumatic time.

Answer 3

In my opinion if the mother wanted to parent she will decide to do without pictures regardless. If a woman gives up her child and changes her mind due to the fact the child turned out pretty, then she is quite the low-life and does not deserve a child. But only your friend can make this decision because none of us can even guess what kind of woman the birth mother is. The worst thing right now would be for this woman to decide to parent and this poor child be snatched from the arms of 2 mothers. Every issue she had from her mother placing her would only be doubled by returning her after so long. In my opinion there is no reason why she needs to send a card now with pictures, what about sending a card and pictures in the spring. I would guess by sending pictures now your friend would only spend the next month in a complete stress ball and the child is going to pick up on it. I would either send a card now and pics in the spring or just wait till spring and send a letter. I am also well aware that my opinion is not going to be taken well by a "few" here but this is not about the birthmom's rights but what is best for the child in question..

Answer 4

Nornally people sign the book befire they actually enter into the service. If they did'nt you can poss give soem a call, and explaint hat you want to send a thank you card, but your without an address etc. I'm sure it wont be a problem. Evene check out the cards that came with the flowers. Sorry about your loss:)

Answer 5

The funeral home probably gave you a box that has the book that everyone signed that went to the funeral.The people that signed had a place to put their address down.That's where I got mine from.If you didn't get the box with the book, call the funeral home and ask them about it.Inside my box I got thank you cards,bookmarks,cards from the flowers sent,and the visitors book.I was very thankful for the box, I could hardly remember who came to the funeral.You should send them out ASAP,it makes people feel better when they know that their kindness is appreciated.Deepest Sympathy for your loss...

Answer 6

Those who sent flowers and other memorials should receive thank you cards. Also, anyone who helped with the service (like a minister or friend who did errands) should receive a card.

The funeral home has a list of the flowers and donations. When my mom died in February, we took the cards that came with the flowers and wrote the name of the donors on the back. We found most of the addresses. We also asked relatives and friends for addresses and sent cards.

I found the addresses of donors for out-of-state relatives by calling the florists. They keep lists and are happy to give you the information.

For those who just sent sympathy cards, there is no need to send thank you cards to them. I received many cards from co-workers, so, when I went back to work, I thanked them individually and also sent a general message over our internal e-mail system.

I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

My sincerest condolences.

All I can tell you is that at my mom's funeral, the funeral home provided a guest sign-in book and a big stack of thank you notes for us. A few months after the funeral, we thumbed through the guest book (which asked everyone to write in their addresses) and we sent everyone a thank you note.

Those who sent a monatery donation in my mother's name ( which we were notified by the organization they sent it to) and those who gave us the most emotional support got special cards that we personally selected and bought ourselves, with a detailed personal note inside.

Just don't push yourselves. Do it when you are ready. Right now, you need time to grieve and heal and take care of you and yours first. You need to be there for each other. The rest can wait.

Answer 8

Sorry for your loss. In Holland it is quite customary to send a card to everyone who attended the funeral or who has send flowers. You don't have to write them all personally, just sign them. The "thanks for your caring"part is already printed on them. If you send them to really close personal friend you can make them a bit more personal of course. When my mother died , I got a lot of addresses from her personal address book. Maybe your mother had an address book as well? I wish you all the strength you need, dear.

Answer 9

You should send thank you cards to those who sent flowers and were especially comforting to your family. You do not need to send them to people who just attended the visitation and funeral. You could look up the names in a phone book online. You may be able to use 411 if you have a really hard one. Good Luck and Sorry to hear about your loss.

Answer 10

No I don't think you need to do that. In that circumstance people don't expect thankyou cards. However, if you want to thank them, you could phone them and thank them personally seeing as you have their phone numbers. This would save the hassle of trying to find their addresses and you could get the thankyous out there much faster.

Sorry for your loss.