What do I do with a nosy neighbor that is running her mouth?

Question

I was out playing ball with my two sons 12 and 10years old. My oldest son who has ADHD and some other issues.My oldest son attacted me, and my boyfriend and younger son tried to get him off of me, when he did let go he was screaming and yelling like he was being killed. Well the nosy neighbor called the cops and is telling the other neighbors that I was letting my boyfriend hit my son,which he was not doing.I tried to let this go but it keeps comming up. I want to write her a letter but she'd probaly take it as a threat and go tell the cops.Her calling the cops is not an issue it's that she is slandering me and my boyfriend.My one neighbor said that I can sue her for slander but I don't want to sue anybody, I just want it to stop. Please help

Answer 1

I would write her a letter thanking her for her concern by calling the police, but explain that what she thought was happening, was not the case and that you would appreciate her correcting the story that she has told other people and ask her to refrain from discussing things with others until she makes sure and has the correct story as to not cause unnecessary harm to you, your children or anyone else.

You want your neighbors to be there to help when needed and you don't want to make an enemy. It's ridiculous to think of suing, so diplomacy is in order. Thank her for being a good neighbor, by calling the police, but let her know spreading false info. hurts your family and others. You all should be able to remain good neighbors that way.

Answer 2

It's almost a catch 22, huh? You want nosy neighbors especially if something bad (or someone getting hurt) were happening but at the same time, they should mind their own business.

Your 12 year old has issues and ADHD is not an excuse for attacking his mom. My brother and all my cousins have that and have NEVER done anything like that. Maybe there is something more that you aren't noticing like a depression or anger issue? Take him to a doctor because its something more serious than ADHD.

As far as your neighbor either ignore it or go straight over to her house and tell her to mind her own business. To be honest I probably would have called the police to. To her it looked like the 12 year old was being hit by a grown man, which would mean that if this were really happening, you as the mom wouldn't have stepped in and told him to stop (as it would be going on inside the home too). As we know this isn't the case she can only be left to assume based on what she SAW or thought she saw. Again it goes into the catch 22 because if your house were being robbed or a someone actually beating your son, you'd be gracious she did call.

Answer 3

You need to tell her the truth about your son. You need to tell her the truth about what happened that day. It's not that she deserves to know it's that she is a real threat because you know she will call the cops on you. She may call DFCS as well. If you have doctors records backing up the diagnosis of ADHD it would be in your best interest to keep a copy of that at your home as well as information from your doctor about how children with ADHD act differently from others. You also need to tell your neighbor that if she continues slandering you and your family you will have to pursue legal action. Even if you never intend to do that it should help the situation. Don't let her bully you.

Answer 4

A child with ADHA, doesn't attack people. Especially to the point where you can't get him off of you yourself. Does he have a doctor? Or is this just your opinion? If he's putting you and his brother in danger, you should consider a behavioral center. Not forever, just enough time for a bit of a wake up call ( or to even out his meds ) As far as the neighbors go, why is it such a huge deal? This is playground stuff, if you let her get a rise out of you ( which you're obviously doing ) then she's going to keep doing it. Be the adult, and ignore it. If anything you should be thankful to have a neighbor who is thinking of the children. If your son was really being abused, you'd be happy she called the police. If you have nothing to hide, the police can only help you.

Answer 5

first of all good for you for not sueing her! that is nuts how everyone is sueing everyone. Let her run her mouth. It will stop. Something else will happen to someone else. You need to take care of your son. obviasly he has some problems. My brother is the same way. He is 16 now and in a juvenile prison. He started being violent when he was around 11. He just got diagnosed with Ausbergers Syndrom. It is a form of high functioning autism. you should check it out on google. He didnt get the help he needed until it was too late. You are his mom and you need to push for him to get the care he needs. Good Luck and email me with any questions!

Answer 6

Well as you stated in your details 'I want to write her a letter but she'd probably take it as a threat and go tell the cops' this issue might have to go to court if you say your neighbor is very touchy.Instead of writing her a letter,go up to her front door and personally tell her how you feel and tell her to mind her own buisness.Before she starts running her mouth,clearly state that if she calls the cops,it will be for nothing because she should really mind her own buisness.If your neighbor won't answer the door,then I do suggest writing the letter.

Answer 7

Well, sadly, from experience I can tell you that a letter would not really work and you will need to, at the least, file a lawsuit. Which alone should be enough to give the person a clue that without proof, they should not start rumors.


The other route. If you could stand it. Have them over for dinner with a lot of family and friends over as well and during dinner bring up the incident and clear the air

Answer 8

Write her a letter describing what actually happened and ask her to please stop spreading the erroneous rumor. If the she doesn't stop, don't worry about it. Just correct people about what really happened and tell them your neighbor is a nosy moron who can't get her facts straight. Once you tell them your son has ADHD, they'll realize that you are coping with a serious problem and don't need people like your neighbor making things worse.

Answer 9

Get a lawyer to write a cease and desist letter. It will let the neighbor know you are serious. It's a shame she can't be more supportive and take time to understand the entire story with your older son.

Answer 10

what did the cops say probally nothing if you are writing on yahoo instead of sitting in jail.....Put up a fence and just avoid her i am sure all your other neighbors know she is a gossip.....You can always make up an outrages story and run over and tell her she might get the hint from your sarcasim....