He has smoked cannabis now for at least 12 years he is only 25 years old.he is deffinetly not the same person he used to be ,i think its affecting his mind hes not very easy to convince either,he leads a normal life he keeps fit has a full time job and genrally does whats right by his son.i dont like the idea of him being near my kids when hes stoned,should i deal with this and confront him about quitting or leave him to it hes old enough to make his own decissions afterall.
2007-01-02 04:36:09 · 10 answers · asked by tim w 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I have smoked cannabis for four years. Its only something I do at home or in the company of likeminded people. I would be horrified a the thought of making people uncomfortable because I was stoned. I think you should tell your brother that you are aware he smokes cannabis and that you are cool about him using it discretly, but you don't want him to use cannabis before or during family meetings. Agree a compromise, meeting somewhere on common ground so to speak, he will feel like you are at least trying to understand his side.
2007-01-02 07:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not condone cannabis use, but there are plenty of people out there who take cannabis for recreational use. Although your brother has smoked cannabis for 12 years, it seems to me that he is only smoking it recreationally and he is not particularly obsessing with it as such because he is still able to lead a normal life by keeping fit, holding down a full time job and, in general, being a good father. Be thankful for this. The only thing that you can do is to have a 'brotherly' chat with him and discuss how you feel about his cannabis use; but do it in a constructive manner. You cannot tell him what to do with his life I'm afraid. He will do what he wants to do, and by you opposing him, will only make him go on the defensive. Are your kids young? They may not realise that he is stoned. If they are at an age where they are old enough to realise the situation, then maybe you should explain to them in basic terms what it is that your brother is going through. Only tell them if they ask questions. Your brother could be a prime example to show your children that cannabis is not a good option. Don't stop him from seeing his nieces and/or nephews. Your brother is not a dangerous drunk, or a psychopathic hard drug abuser. Just make sure that you are always with your kids when you visit him. Try to keep your family together as best as possible. Your children will become older and wiser and will make their own informed opinions and decisions about their uncle. Providing your brother is not doing any harm to any one, then leave him to it. All you can do is diplomatically voice your concerns for him. He is only 25, he still may 'grow out' of using cannabis yet. Alot of people do.
You sound like a great brother! Keep an eye on him from a distance and be there for him. I wish you all the best!!!!
2007-01-02 05:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say "he's leading a normal life," which leads me to believe it isn't affecting his judgment to a great degree. And you're not specific about how it's "affecting his mind." Affecting it how? True, it's not a good idea to have him around your kids when he's stoned, for no other reason than it's still illegal and kids need to know it's still not acceptable behavior.
You actually answered your own question: He's old enough to make his own decisions. The choice to use MJ may or may not be wise, although statistically speaking it does less harm than alcohol (drunk driving comes to mind). Many so-called "legal" prescription drugs do far more damage.
My advice is to confront him only about exposure to your kids. You're not going to convince him to quit using MJ, but you can keep him from being a negative influence on your kids. Beyond that, he has to make his choices. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-02 04:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by link955 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that if your brother can function normally when stoned then its ok to have him around your kids. If he's been doing this for 12 years and functions properly day to day and it has not been a big issue yet then why is it now? meaning: did something happen recently to make you reconsider the whole thing? and if it did, then you need to decide if he's capable of being around your kids. My parents both smoke cannabis, and have my entire life, and I'm not a stoner. If anything I'd say that seeing every day made me NOT want to go that route. But on the other hand, my brother now smokes it. It is relative to how sensitive your kids are and their individual personalities. I'd say if its an issue talk to him and ask him to not come around when stoned. If he doesnt undertstand your point of view, its ok, but you have a right to decide who is around your kidz if that person is putting them at any risk.
2007-01-02 08:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by jeneric803 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i would do is confront him say this isnt good what yourdoing to yourself.
what i did to my friends i looked up all the research i can find printed out a few gross pics and she immidiatly stoped.
also tell him that you can do what ever you want but while your doing what your doing i dont want you around my kids.
tell him it shortens your life.
And also think of this (maybe he does it because he has some depression on him chest?)
Talk with him calmly and explain every detail
that bothers you.Dont start a fight that will only make it worst just talk slowly and very softly and calmly. If he explaines some depression
maybe take some siciatry sessions.
Or if he just got addicted show him the future
hop i helped good luck.
2007-01-02 04:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 25 yrs old, he is at the point where he is old enough to make his own decisions, if it's not affecting his day to day life then i think that it's not such a bad thing. when he matures mentally, he'll realize that maybe it's not what he wants to spend the rest of his life doing. it's also a bad exapmle for his child. and i wouldn't let him take care of your kids, but depending on how functional he is while high, then it might be ok to let him around your kids
2007-01-02 04:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by ekenny513 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you adore him but do not want him near your family when he is stoned as you are in effect condoning his use as acceptable. Ask him if he would consider getting help for his dependecne on this substance. If he can discuss it with you that is a good sign. If he is defensive and hostile, there's probably not much you can do.
2007-01-02 04:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should confront him about your concern. i think if you advise him to quit it might not go down to well as maybe he see's that he doesnt have a problem. I think you should sit down with him and tell him that you are unconfortable with him being stoned around you children and ask him if he could just not do it anymore. Then maybe he will start to think about how his habbit may be affecting other people around him.
2007-01-02 07:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by scorpio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your brother married? What does his wife/mother of his son have to say about this? You aren't your brother's keeper. It is his problem. However, if you think your nephew is in danger with your brother being stoned, then you HAVE to contact child protective services. And if your brother comes to your house stoned and you don't want your kids to see that.....then you have to tell him. "Don't come to my house stoned. I don't want my kids to see that." It's that simple.
2007-01-02 04:43:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him away from your kids, and tell him why. Other than that, it's his life. You're job is to protect your kids from a stoner.
2007-01-02 04:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋