Should I believe him....? guys or girls?

Question

I have a wonderful boyfriend right now, and I don't know what I would do without him. I love him to death, and he says he does me, but I don't know whether to believe him or not. A previous relationship has made me more cautious when it comes to trusting a guy with my heart. My ex told me I was his world and that he loved me and then broke my heart. I don't know whether to give him my heart or hold back. I am afraid that he will break it like my ex did-I really want us t o last and I hope he feels the same..he says he does and that he would never dream of us being apart-I want to believe him but something is holding my back. PLEASE help...any advice is greatly appreciated!!!

I don't mean I will die without him there, but it is hard to imagine me without him in the picture-that is how perfect everything is right now. Some of my so-called friends aren't making this any better-I lost one of them because of this relationship. They couldn't stand him(don't know why) and they no longer talk to me. Some people find it a little weird that I play basketball and he plays drums...I could care less...all of my friends are happy b/c they think I have finally found the right one....I mean I am only 14..come one...but seriously...another thing that worried me was that my ex-is his friend so I wonder if that will effect anything...my b/f doesn't talk to him all that much anymore..but when he does my ex is always telling him a bunch of junk that isn't true and I wonder if some of the reason he tells me he loves me is b/c the ex told him that I would do anything if he said that..which is a lie b/c I want to make sure he loves me b4 I do ANYTHING!!!

Answer 1

Cautious optomism is usually the best course of action, but that means minimizing emotions and ultimately it could slow down the progression of the relationship or end it entierly depending on the amount of emotion you are holding back. You may even start to lose interest in him.

I have a plan for this sort of thing, it comes wrapped in a pretty pink ribben and usually runs for about 30 dollars. But ill give you the plan for free.

The plan is, just live life and be happy with yourself, validate your life through yourself and anyone that comes into it is supplimental.

Ya see? Now your happy no matter what.

Answer 2

Unfortunately we are all products of our environment our life experiences and giving our hearts to someone is costly if they decide to break it and it does change us. I would hang in there and make sure, do you really have control of that or does it just happen, I'd just let things go as they are going and don't make a concious act of giving him anything. Hold on to you. It isn't any other person's responsibility to make us happy. If they think they are responsible some men will use you because they can...they know somehow that they are the ONE...you give off the vibes and they feel they can do just this one thing or whatever and then you find out. So, maybe going too fast is the problem, hold back and make sure it lasts for a year and that he is true to you without you giving him everything. They don't buy the cow when the milk is free. Be true to him and allow him some freedom and make sure he is true to you over time. Time is the real test and then you can give your heart to him. Get the time, get the ring and then Maybe lol. I am always wary of men because there are so many women out to get the good ones regardless. So, that is my opinion. Be true to youreself first then let him prove himself then let it happen. good luck.

Answer 3

I think you should give the relationship some time and see what develops. I'm concerned b/c you said ..."I don't know what I would do without him.' Women can survive w/o a guy and need to be aware that they can do so. You can bring more into a relationship if you're able to stand on your own. Being strong doesn't hurt the chances of developing a successful relationship, it increases the chances of maintaining a healthy relationship. Guys need someone to lean on too. You seem desperate to be loved...and that's never a good position to be in. Examine yourself and figure out what is your own best interest. Don't expect any guy to fulfill all your needs--it doesn't work that way. While you're working on yourself, you can get to know your boyfriend better and figure out what works for the two of you. He probably has 'old baggage' from previous relationships as well. You have probably already figured out on a rational level that your previous boyfriend's actions have nothing to do with your current boyfriend....so try to grow on an emotional level as well and give this relationship a chance. Either way--you'd be fine on your own if you needed to be. good luck

Answer 4

Chels, If you are truly going to experience Love then you must also experience any pain that may be associated with it. With out
those two ingredients it would be hard for you to learn and share your knowledge with any one else. Love can sometimes hurt, however you must be willing to allow your new man to make his own mistakes, its unfair to you and him if you let what happen in your past hold you back. Fear will keep you from experiencing True Love when it's your time, and that's so unfair. Enjoy all the time you have with your man, love him strong and hard. Do not let the past relationship ruin your future Love..... Tell your new guy more reason on why you love him, this will help to ensure a somewhat pain free love experience. What ever you do... Stop letting your past dictate your future. He deserve a fair shoot, just like the last guy.

Answer 5

I've been in three relationships, in which the first and third went bad. I was heart broken. I really can't tell u whether this guy will be different, but its ur choice to put ur heart out there for the taking.Just keep in mind that there's always that possibility, unfortunately its never a sure thing. Good luck.

Answer 6

If you really care about him with all your heart then you will believe him. true until proven guilty. Take my brother and his girlfriend. They are only 13 but they love each other and matter to each other more than anything else in the world. They believe it when each other says that they love one another because they care so strongly about each other. Listen to what your heart tells you. If you hold back now. There is no future. There is only the past. Good Luck

Answer 7

Always be cautious w/ matters of the heart, no matter what your past. Take people on a case by case basis. He has to earn your heart, you can't just give it away!
My advice is to you is believe people when they SHOW YOU who they are the 1st time!! I'm for giving second chances but don't be surprised when they offend you again. Letting someone continuously break your heart is YOUR fault.

Answer 8

This is not a question of honesty He might be telling the truth and still break your heart eventually. Noone knows what he future has in store. things might be perfect right now but might start getting worse as time goes by. for example, I said all those things to my ex but as time went by I started realizing he wasn't the right one for me. I never meant to hurt him and i was saying the truth at the time but I still hurt him by leaving him. Loving myself as well I couldn't stay with him any longer but i was always 100% honest in my words.

Answer 9

I would suggest take things a step at a time and build on trusting each other. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship, if you don't have trust, then you don't have anything. Try not to let the past interfere with your future.

Answer 10

So don't blind yourself. Listen to your gut. Don't listen to past experience unless there are similar signs in this relationship as in the past relationship that cause you to doubt. Trust and honesty are neccessary, but who says you have to rush in and give your all right away? When it feels right, giving your all will come naturally.