any jokes u like ;)
2007-01-02 04:13:30 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I'm into blonde jokes. Assuming you they don't offend you, here goes!
Q-How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A-She opens the car door!
Q-Why do blondes have such a hard time getting their drivers license?
A-Not enough experience in the FRONT seat!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are sitting in their Ob's office. They strike up a conversation about the gender of their unborn babies. The blonde listens while the redhead explains that she's have a girl, because she was on top. The brunette then exclaims that he's have a boy, because he was on top. At this point the blonde bursts into tears and cries, I'm having puppies!
My all time favorite! (beware it's a bit dirty/gross)
Q-How can you tell when a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A-When there's lipstick AROUND your cucumbers! ha ha ha
okay, I just heard another and I HAD to share!
As I was packing for my business trip, my 3-year old daughter was
having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said....
"Daddy look at this," and she stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny
fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy"s gonna eat your fingers!"
pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her
fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
2007-01-02 04:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by Patty O' Green 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Funny or not?
A man was driving down a country lane and all of a sudden, the Easter bunny hops out in front of him and he hits and kills him. He pulls over and cries until a blonde comes along. "what's wrong" she asked. He told her what happened and surprisingly, the blonde smiled and said wait here. She goes back to her car and comes back with a can. she sprays it on the dead rabbit and he comes back to life and waves. he starts hopping away and waves again. He keeps waving untill he is out of site and he says what did you spray? she showed him the can and read the label
"restores dead hair. adds permenant wave."
A Mr.Smith was married to his wife, Mrs.Smith for 10 years. As it tends to happen the mans memory tended to forget certain things, namely aniversarry.Well, after he came home late from the bar, drunk and not a sign of flowers for her, on her anneversary, the wife was, to out things lightly, in a murderous rage. "At this time tommorrow, There better be something in the parking lot that goes from 0-200 in 2 seconds flat. Well Mrs.Smithspent the next day as normally as any day, and her husband came back home that evening. I have your request honey, its in the parkinglot. Exidedly, she hurried out. To her confusion, see saw a small(ish) square box. Curiously, she opened it. Inside was a fancy new scale.
Mr.Smiths funeral is set of Wensday
2007-01-02 04:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
This king of egypt has a daughter and if anyone sleeps with her their d*ick will turn gold. So he checks the white man and his d*ick is gold. Does the same with the black dude and his d*ick is gold. He tells both the white and the black man that consequences will be awarded and to stand aside. Lastly he checks the mexican and he is clean. So he tells the mexican he is free to go. As the mexican is walking away he smiles and his teeth are gold.
Q- How do you know adam and eve were white? A- Try taking a rib from a black man.
2007-01-02 05:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Z K 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
See how you like this one: Man goes onto a bar and says, "bartender, give me three shot glasses of Irish whiskey." Bartender says, "I can give you all three shots in one glass and it'll be a dollar cheaper." Man says, "No, you see I am from Ireland and every Friday my brothers Paddy, Sean and I would go to the local pub and have a drink together. Now, I miss them terribly and want to continue our tradition by pretending that they are here sharing a drink with me." "OK," says the barkeep. Every Friday for the next 6 months the guy comes in and gets three shot glasses of Irish whiskey. One day he walks in and says, "Bartender, give me two shots of Irish whiskey." Fearing the worst the bartender says, "I'm sorry. Did something happen to Paddy or Sean?" "Oh no," says the Irishman, "it's just that I have quit drinking."
2007-01-02 04:32:17 · answer #4 · answered by abbeyroad54321 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
theres a blond a red head and a brunet and a guy pointed a gun at the red head and sed "any last words" and she sed yes tornado and everybody ducks and she gets away then he pointed the gun at the brunets head and sed is there any last words and she sed yes twister and they all ducked and she got away then he pointed the gun at the blonds head and sed any last words and she said yes fire!
2007-01-02 05:03:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
victoria beckham once sed 2 david:
"honey, i wanna go to a place that i've never been before, something thats new"
david replied:
"well why dont you try the kitchen!!"
haha i think that was funnii lol...:P
2007-01-02 04:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by bad to the bone 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A guy walks into a bar. He says 'Ow!' and gets an ice pack for his shin.
2007-01-02 04:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Maverick 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋