I am feeling depressed, had some alcohol on New Years eve and felt great. Should I go to the doctor?

Question

I have a bad memory so tend to forget feelings in the past, I concentrate on how I feel at the current moment. I feel like such a *****, I'm such a horrible person. I can only think of suicide, but haven't got the will power to inflict pain on myself. I am a bit of a wimp, so I don't think I actually pose as a threat to myself, so people need not worry. Is there much point in seeing my GP? I can't try counselling or psychotherapy again, I'm too shy and have too much of an "avoidant personality" that I couldn't take part in the CBT suggested. I'm 17 so don't think they would give me drugs as it wasn't mentioned a year ago.

I have been feeling depressed/low for the last 3 years. I have felt fine some of the time. I don't have a good memory, maybe I try to block things, but I don't think I'm happy for the majority of the time.

I feel like I don't have the right to ask help, because I've been a total ***** to a "friend" who has depression and has been rubbing her support groups in my face. It is like I am not worth the stuff they offer in school. She seems to be putting a lot of it on as well, she's quite manipulative etc and cries at the right times so she gets maximum attention. I've learned to hold feelings in, and she doesn't, it just bugs me. I don't feel I deserve help. It's like I'm saying to her, you can't have help, cause I want it. I feel so jealous, but like I don't see a point to all the help.

Answer 1

I was in your shoes in my early twenties, and I know that it's tough (to say the very least). Therapy helped me deal with my issues, helped me deal with anxiety and shyness, and provided an additional support system. If you have tried counseling, without positive results, it may be that you haven't found the right therapist. Yes, it is super uncomfortable to spill your guts to strangers, especially if you're having to do it over and over again until you find the right person. However, please believe me, the right person makes all the difference. (It's also really important to remember that you don't have to put on a "happy face" or edit your feelings with a counselor; you have to be honest to make strides toward feeling better!)

As for forgetting your feelings, write them down. That will help you and your counselor identify triggers for your depression. Plus, it will give you an outlet through which to express yourself, without having to get immediate feedback.

Also, have you considered any inpatient counseling options? If you are having suicidal thoughts, it is IMPERATIVE that you get help by any means necessary. Remember: Everyone needs help at some point, and there's no shame in asking for it.

Also, if you take care of these issues while you are young, you will be so much better off as you get older. Sure, life gets hard as you face new challenges and enter adulthood, but the key is to learn how to deal with adversities, so that you don't get caught in the cycle of depression and anxiety every time something comes up. There is someone out there who can give you the tools to take control of your emotions, rather than let them control you and what you do with your life. Plus, you can also work on being more assertive, even if it's just in the area of standing up for yourself, and asking for help when you need it. You will probably always be shy, but you don't have to "let" life happen to you; you can "make" things happen.

Finally, I agree with others who have said that using alcohol to cope is definitely not the answer. You will feel worse, and could end up with an additional problem should you become dependent upon drinking to "feel better." Any improvement in your mood/outlook will be temporary, not to mention that you're too young to be drinking ;-)

Bottom line: Ask for help, and keep asking until you get what you need.

I hope that any of this helped just a little. You are not alone, even though it may feel that way sometimes!

Answer 2

I first went to my doctor when I was 19 and I was referred to a councillor. I never went though because I was so shy. I'm 27 now and this time last year I was really depressed, the worst I've ever felt. Like you I am too much of a wimp to actually commit suicide or any other type of self harm.
I did go to the doctor but I took a friend with me. While I sat there crying my eyes out, my friend told my doctor I needed help. He gave me tablets and referred me again to a therapist.
When I first went I was so nervous but it was such a help to talk to somebody that really understood. She referred me to an art therapist who in turn referred me to a cognitive behavioural therapist. A year later I'm now waiting to see a new therapist and I am now taking ST JOHNS WORT instead of my prescribed tablets.
I know it sounds like it's all been a waste or time but it takes a while to find the right person that can help you. The tablets the doctor gave me hadn't worked and he wouldn't change my medication and I had taken St Johns Wort before. They had really helped and so I told my doctor that I would be taking them again.
They actually lift my spirits and I finally feel happier, something I have never felt before.
I also suffer with a slight social phobia so even though all of my therapists have told me I should go to group therapy I have always refused. They understand. There is also a mental health number you could try if you need to talk to someone 0845 300 2727. It's for Sussex but I'm sure they would talk to you or give you another number.
I'd try St Johns Wort. You can get them from Boots in the herbal section or I get mine from Holland and Baratt. They do have side effects, your skin becomes more photosensitive and the contraceptive pill wont work with it. If you are on other medication I'd check you can take SJW with them. They are quite well know and are prescribed in every other country except the UK it seems.
I hope this has helped. Feel free to mail me if you ever want to chat. Good luck and keep thinking positively

Answer 3

Hi Joy

First of all, you're not alone and you will get better.

I've felt exactly the same and you're not a "wimp "for not committing suicide - that's showing strength - although you won't believe it now.

Your age also has a huge impact on how you're feeling - hormones play a large part in your mood right now

I would suggest seeing your GP for some advice, discuss your feelings with them and while there is no cure for depression you can take steps to control it's impact on your life. Ring NHSDirect if you do get suicidal thoughts again.. or try SANEline they're a mental health charity who can offer free help and advice http://www.sane.org.uk

Try and get outside - even a walk round the block can help - anything to get the "feel good" hormone (serotonin - which is found in a lot of anti depressants) increased and flowing through your system. It also helps distract you from that leave me alone feeling .....

You won't feel like it , especially in the cold weather, but wrap up and force yourself and it will also help distract your mind from zoning in on the bad thoughts and feelings your having right now....

Try and write how your feeling down, and when your feeling more like yourself again, read your notes and if you feel like you don't agree with your negative feelings - screw the notes up and throw them away.

Depression does tend affect your memory too, but don't worry, it doesn't mean you're "going mad", it's all part of the condition.

If you have a close friend or family member try confiding in them about how your feeling. This isn't always easy, but will explain any changes in your personality to them and they may have been through the same situation.....

Keep on being strong !

Answer 4

I am no expert on the subject, but I have heard about this on a number of occassions and I have an aunt with this situation. Some people have backward metabolisms. My aunt can take a vallium or a xanax and it is like speed for her. Instead of calming her down and relaxing her, she goes into over drive. When she drinks she gets all wound up. I am not sure if this is a medical condition, but I think it certainly suggests you need to be careful with lifestyle choices. The fact that you are so young, you should be able to combat depression with tools other than drugs or alcohol.

First 17 is the suckiest age ever. From 13 until 18 you life is hell. You think you know best and everyone is telling you what to do, how to behave, what to learn in school, how to conduct your life. The number of responsibilities you have consistently goes up from 13 years old. To make matters worse your body unleashes a barage of hormones that you are not prepared to deal with. You have peer pressure, societal pressures, mental anguish, etc. You are not depressed, you are normal.

My advice. Just cope as best you can. Love your parents and siblings, listen as best you can and take everything for what it is worth. After 18 things start getting better, not easier, but better.

Answer 5

Everyone's depression is unique and complex so it's difficult to give you a fair assessment from one paragraph. You mentioned you were once on medication. Have you tried therapy without the meds? Therapy isn't for everyone, but you should try it first. Your therapist should be able to help you deal with the problem and, if possible, understand the origin of your depression. The biggest lesson I've learned is that you must learn to talk, talk, talk when you're depressed. It's often easy to shut down and allow the depression to take the course of your life. Don't make the same mistake I made. I wasted a good chunk of my life being depressed. Look for someone to help you. Good luck.

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, it must be really tough but you got to keep strong, & be strong. I went through a really tough time too when i was your age & it was very difficult, the only thing I can suggest that might really help you & helped me was healing, it made me so much more peaceful & lifted up my depression, if you're interested please go to this site & type in ur postcode to find your nearest centre (they're very kind & understadning people & they work on donations only so it's not expensive, you don't have to give money if you don't want to)
Please go it will help you. & go every wekk if you can, I promise you you'll feel better.
Also read some inspiring books which will help you help urself,try these authors ;see which ones appeal to you; Wayne Dyer,Louise L Hay, Wyatt Webb. Or just go to a bookshop & browse. the point is to make you feel more optimistic & more supported with your feelings. I hope this helps,
much luv & happy new year!

Answer 7

Hello Joy,
First of all, i dont think for one moment that you are a bad person, you are only going through a bad patch in your life so you are no differant to anyone else. My daughter has battled with depression for almost six years now and she also drank a fair bit to forget her depression. She was told that alcohol is a depressant therefore she could either quit drinking or end up in long term care suffering from Korsakoff's syndrome- she quit!
Like you she haad very low self esteem but I suggest you see your counsellor again and disguss this matter with he/she and take one step at a time. As for being shy, why not start with small groups rather than being pushed in at the deep end and dont put yourself down.
Remember, you have as much right to life as anyone else, so head up, smile and put your best foot forward. Good luck.

Answer 8

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
This is surprisingly common at the moment even more so at this time of year. Its very sad in someone of your age.

What about your family? Stay close to them if you can.
You should consult a doctor. What have you got to lose?
My advise would be a support group. There you can just sit back for as long as you want and listen to others sharing similar problems. You will feel better from it.

Answer 9

Yes you should see your doctor for sure. You don't have to live with depression. Your doctor may give you an anti-depressant. Also, avoid alcohol for awhile as it is a depressant. Your life is worth living. The world is your oyster. All you need to do is get your mind back on the right track to make the most of yourself. This may require medical intervention but their is no shame in that. Go see your doctor asap!

Answer 10

I used to feel just like that except for the admitting it part. I stayed drunk for 32 years. That did not work for me. The last time I got out of prison I went to AA. A person is allowed to sit and listen, does not have to share. I found that I was not alone. When there's a roomfull of people feeling lonely, it becomes quite comical and we all laugh.