I need help?

Question

My dad just found out that I am having sex with my boyfriend. He is an old school man that does not believe in having sex before marriage. I am 26 and I live at home. He said that if I don't break up with my bf he won't be my father anymore. this is the first time he has said such a thing and It is just killing me. I am a full time student and I don't have a job. I don't want to break up with my bf just because of my dad and I don't want to lose my family over my bf. I don't know what to do. Please give me some advice.

Answer 1

I hope what your father told you was said in anger and when he cools down you can talk to him rationally. I understand that he is upset, but Dad has you on a very tight leash. Perhaps this evening you can ask him to sit down and talk to you and tell him why you feel mature and responsible enough to be having sex. I imagine this is a religious argument with your father and while nothing will change his mind, he may be willing to understand that as an adult this IS your decision. If you love your boyfriend there is no reason to leave him. This is a tough one. Try to get your Mom's opinion as well and see if she'll talk to your Dad. As a full-time student you should look into campus housing so that you are free to make your own decisions and live the life you believe is right.
Dad may not come around for a good while. I know a friend's father who, many years ago, refused to come to her wedding and didn't allow she and her husband to come around his home for a couple of years. The thing is, he was WRONG to treat her like that. It sounds as if you have been responsible and you are quite capable of making decisions. Your Dad may come around quickly, though, also. I know how much this must hurt you (and I'm sure in his way he feels justified in his anger because he is hurt as well) but ever since you were 18 he was no longer your decision-maker. Staying at his home now that you are 26 is giving him reason to believe you are still a 'little girl'. You really need to look into other forms of housing, and a job, although of course it will be difficult.
I'm not sure how to react to your fear you will 'lose him'. It highly improbable and if he has been a good father to you over the years it's unlikely he will hold onto this forever. Do you have another family member who could speak to him if he won't listen to you? It may be good to have a more objective party. At the age of 26, he needs to respect your decisions if you have proven yourself a responsible adult. I do believe, regardless, that you need to very seriously consider getting a job and your own place (roommates, etc.). It's difficult but it will also prove once and for all that you are an adult worthy of being treated like one.

All the best. I hope Dad comes around soon.

Answer 2

first of all your dad needs to stop being so narrow minded. you gods sake you are 26 years old and he should be greatful you waited this long. he needs to realize that you are not a baby and we live in the 21 century. who actually waits until they are married these days? if you dad kicks you out you could always go live with your boyfriend. you will not lose your family over your boyfriend. if your parents do that and make you choose they really dont love you very much all they want to do is to control you. they should let you be your own woman and make your owns choices as well as mistakes... not that your making a mistake or anything but thats all part of being your own person is making your own choices, and they need to respect that.

Answer 3

U R A GROWN WOMAN AND U NEED 2 TELL UR DADDY THAT U R NOT A BABY. I UNDERSTAND HE BELIEVES IN THAT NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE BUT U COULD HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND NOT HAVE SEX KIND OF HARD BUT IT CAN BE DONE. WHAT DOES UR FATHER WANT 4 U 2 B AN OLD MAID WITH NO CHILDREN AND NO HUSBAND. U NEED 2 SPEAK 2 HIM AND TELL HIM U R NOT 1O ANYMORE U R 26. STAND UP 4 UR SELF.

Answer 4

You are an adult, you have every right to live your life the way you see fit. I would say that you need to sit down and have a very long talk with your dad. Tell that ultimatums are pointless, point out the things you do in your life to be responsible and tell him that since you're an adult, you have to decide for yourself how to act. Thank him for his concern, but be firm that you need to live your life yourself, he can't live it for you.

If he will give you an ultimatim about this and you cave in where will it stop? Will he choose your major in college and not be your dad any more if you don't do what he wants? Will he choose your husband, tell if and when you can have kids, where you can work? Don't let him control you, its your life.

Answer 5

people say things sometimes they don't mean.he'll come around
after the anger has warn off and the realization your not his little girl anymore.just don't fight with dad,tell him you understand wear he's coming from. just keep it civil with dad.
you don't have to brake up with your boyfriend, your dad will except the fact your all grown up but do remember you live under your dads roof be respectful to him to him and his rules.
keep the boyfriend low key for now until it blows over,then later on down the road when every thing is calm ask dad if you could invite some one for dinner,have him meet the boyfriend.
dad just wants the best for you in your life..good luck

Answer 6

You're 26 and you need some independance, my friend. Granted, while you're living with your parents, you need to live within their rules. However, at 26 it is time to move out. My advice is to find a roomate and a job and move out. It'll be the best thing you've done for your own independance. You can't fully mature until you're out from under your parents wing.

Answer 7

I really think you need to tell your Dad that you are 26 and an adult. You can make your own decisions. Today's world is not the same as when he was a single man.

Answer 8

there's no such element as a hypoallergenic dogs. it somewhat is dogs dander that triggers hypersensitive reactions in human beings and all canines have dander, it somewhat is an argument of a few breeds having much less of it than others. Poodles, Bichons. and a few terriers seem the breeds that allergic human beings can submit with even however there are some hypersensitive reactions that react to all canines, no longer in basic terms some. i understand of no breed that sounds like a Pomeranian which would be secure for you.

Answer 9

Break up with your boyfriend...he's probably going to leave anyway, and your dad is always going to be around. Come on, don't give the old man a stroke. If you still live at home, you need to abide by your dad's rules.

Answer 10

Family will always will be family...boyfriends will come and go....your his little girl in his eyes...your doing it in his own roof....he has taught you self respect., you just spit in his face in his eyes....Love your father, he loves you...You only have one father...he may kill over tomorrow, Give him some time....His little girl is having sex...This is a big deal...My advice to you is to talk to your father., Tell him you love him and that you didn't mean to disrespect him in his own home. That you are no longer a child. Your a grown woman and that you are hurting inside...., that you need your father and don't know what to do that your turning to strangers because she can't talk to her father....you need to talk to your daddy...before he loses his little girl to some guy who may not deserve her after all...I think your dad may be pushing you to Mr. Wrong..take your time...don't make the wrong decision