I had this gf who i was in love with and I think she was in love with me, but when she went back to school she cheated on me(slept with another guy). She confessed this to me right away and said she didn't know why she did it and she broke things off with the other guy right away. We obviously broke up and took a month or so off from talking to one another.
Recently we've started talking again and I realize I still have strong feelings for her and she still says she has feelings for me too. We haven't really talked about getting back together, but I'm just curious:
Has anyone ever gotten back together with someone who cheated on you and has it worked out or are you always paranoid or scared they will cheat again?
Thanks in advance for your input.
2007-01-02 03:44:42 · 22 answers · asked by Kyle K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yeah....I have. I wasn't ready to let her go yet. But it wasn't the same. I sort of felt like she was damaged merchandise, and it eventually made me feel lousy about myself. I finllay broke it off and it felt very liberating and I started liking myself better and feeling better. I look back now and think I sorta wasted time trying to make it work with someone who was incapable of committment that I needed
2007-01-02 03:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by Foss 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say you can try but most likely it will fail. When someone cheats they destroy a very vital trust between two people in a relationship.
It takes an exeptionally forgiving person to look past the betrayal a cheater caused.
At first it may be nice but over time it will start bothering the person that was cheated on and eventually it starts to fall apart.
Good luck and I hope things work out for the best.
2007-01-02 03:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by Richard L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was always worried, and rightfully so, that he would cheat on me again. However, he never admitted it to me, even when I contracted an STD from him, and foolishly, I never broke it off with him for any significant amount of time before taking him back. In other words, I didn't respect myself enough to back out for a while and clear my thoughts to figure out what I wanted in a relationship. He obviously didn't respect me either because he cheated on me again and again. I just blinded myself to the facts and went along with whatever he said. I finally broke it off with him the last time he cheated. It was an unrewarding experience when it comes to love, but rewarding when it comes to learning lessons. If you get back with her, try your best to trust again or no matter how hard she tries, it will not work out between you-- she was cool enough to be honest with you about her uncool deed. Without trust and honesty, you have nothing. Good Luck.
2007-01-02 03:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE THE ADVICE OF 95% OF THIS THREAD!!! Do not get back together with this girl. All she had to do was cheat on you once, and that was a temporary lapse of judgement on her part. What's her excuse going to be next time? What if she has this temporary lapse of judgement with the same guy? What will you do then?
First time: They're the sucker.
Second time: You're the sucker.
Better yet, I would dump her as a friend, because she violated a very imporant code! Take that extra step!!
Good luck and peace....
2007-01-02 03:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ex cheated on me and he told me right away too. we broke up and ended up getting back together later because we didnt feel comfortable with other people. Second time around I didnt have any expectations in our relationship and even if i liked spending time with him and he was totally HOT, I didnt have much interest in him like before. I told myself I was not going to worry all the time and wonder if he was going to cheat on me again. basically i wanted to go with the flow, you know what I mean? at the end I broke up with him NOT because I didnt trust him, but because I met someone else who changed my life! to this day i can tell you that my ex still wants to get back together with me but things changed so much and even though I'm still attracted to him, I have ZERO feelings for him and I can only be a friend. so, if you have strong feelings for your ex and you want her back, give her a chance but dont torture yourself thinking that she is going to cheat on you again, or that if she doesnt answer the phone is because she is with another guy, etc etc. if she cheats on you again then break up again and move on. you probably will find someone a lot better than her but if this 2nd time around works out, be happy!
2007-01-02 04:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by chikis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, when I'm in love I only have eyes for that person. Even if I'm not in love but have implied that I'm going steady, I feel like I'm cheating just considering a new relationship.
Monogamous people and cheaters are just wired differently. Cheaters cheat. They want the love and stability of a committed relationship, but are perfectly willing to risk it for the thrill of betrayal. They either know you will be devastated and just don't care or they just have no understanding and think monogamy is a stupid societal convention. A rule that is ok to break if no one finds out.
2007-01-02 03:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Interesting question.
A gf or bf cheating on me wouldn't bother me from a physical standpoint - hell, my last gf and bf were also sleeping with/dating each other at the time I was with them.
What would bother me is the dishonesty. If there were some implied or explicit rule or agreement that they wouldn't sleep with someone else, then the fact that they had been dishonest would be what really hurt.
Being I'm polyamorous, I rarely care if any of my lovers sleep with anyone else. About the only issue would be if they did so without protection. That would be a serious breach of the rules.
2007-01-02 03:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if this is your true love take the chance and risk it because what is life if you do not take chances and if you do decide to risk it with her again trust her and love her always even when you are mad with her because if she does not have that you may find your self in the same situation as before and don't listen to that once a cheater always a cheater because if she loves you almost as much as you think you love her then she will be faithful to you (if that makes any sense at all i hope that helps you out a little bit)
2007-01-02 04:03:48 · answer #8 · answered by Liz A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's workable but when trust has been destroyed its difficult if not impossible to mend it. you will always be looking over your shoulder and getting paranoid about simple things. You two should take some time to just be friends before contemplating getting back together.
2007-01-02 03:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never be sure that they won't cheat on you again and it will put a strain on the relationship that will make it difficult, if not impossible, to trust that person again. My wife cheated on me and it was never the same after that. We divorced soon after.
2007-01-02 03:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by diogenese_97 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋