When does a parent responsibility end?

Question

My 21 year old daughter seems to think I am responsibile for her finances until I die.

Answer 1

sounds like you didn't do a very good job raising her to be independent.

Answer 2

After the age of 18 she is legally on her own. It's called tough love!!! Been there done that and closed her bank account (ME) it was so hard but until i did she did not start learning responsibility and start growing up. You can't make an exception one time then tell her no the next you have to make her responsible for her own bills and choices or she will keep doing it. My daughter drained us because she knew she could when we stopped it she was angry but got right in college and is now a teacher going on 3 years age 26 and two kids and another on the way and says we did the very best thing we could have. We are best friends again. We do help her with little things but not because she ask (which she does not) but because we see her trying to help herself and we want to!!! Much luck to you!!!

Answer 3

Personally I would say financial parental responsibility ends when the child is finished school, or if they graduate high school at 17 and don't plan to go to college, when they turn 18. If not in school and at least 18, the kid needs a job and to start supporting themself. Even if still living with Mom (which means playing by her rules) she should be paying rent, helping with bills and with taking care of the house. If she's mooching off you at 21, it's because you let her. Give 2 months to find a job and start paying rent or boot her out.

Answer 4

Financial responsibility should end for a parent when a child has been provided every opportunity to further his/her education and has the ability to earn his/her own living. This, however, should be on the typical timeline you see with high school and college students. If a child chooses to move directly to the workforce and opt out of any further education, I believe that the parent's responsibility is over financially.

On a different note, I believe that a parent's emotional responsibility never ends. For that reason, I believe that a parent should step in to help if a grown self-supporting child finds themselves in a financial bind if that child is sincerely putting for effort to succeed.

Answer 5

Ask yourself this question first:
Did I do right by my daughter by teaching her about the wonderful world of personal finances when she was growing up, or did I fall short somewhere?
Parents' responsibilities evolve over the life of their child. The responsibility of a two year old child is different from the responsibility of a 17 year old child, so on and so forth.
Your daughter is 21 years old and depending on you financially. My question is:
Why?
Did your boundaries collapse somewhere down the line or did you fail to establish them in the first place?
**Establish boundaries right now. Tell her that she needs to find employment if she's not in college. If she is in college, it is YOUR responsibility to carry the weight of your child until they graduate. You're not responsible for any luxury items such as a fancy set of wheels or gaming equipment, but you are responsible for her food, clothing and shelter. Upon her college graduation, she is to carry full responsibility for all personal finances. You have to cut the chord and wean her. Sorry, Mom, but you need to display tough love.
I hope this helps.
Good luck and peace...

Answer 6

My parents ended financial support when I was about 15, because of divorce, not duty. Anyway, it taught me to become very self-sufficient and to work hard for all that I have. Hard lesson to learn but a big pay-off. I am now 36, and had to ask for financial help last year for the first time in my life. My father never felt obligated but proud of me for making it this far without asking for help. I guess what I am trying to say, is what lessons do you want her to learn? Do you want to always bail her out or do you want her to be self-sufficient? Eighteen years is long enough, let her see what the real world is like, you will be doing her a favor, I promise!

Answer 7

Parent responsibility never ever ends, but financial responsibility does end.....normally the age of 18. I would cut mine some slack if they needed a little help as long as they were doing the right thing with the money.

Answer 8

I am not a parent but I have raised my younger siblings since I was a young child. A parents responsibilities will never end. But your daughter should know that she is an adult and she has responsibilities that she needs to take care of on her own. You shouldn't have to be responsible for her financial problems. She is a young adult and needs to start to make it on her own. What I think you should do is talk to her and let her know that she has to start taking care of herself. Being an adult isn't easy but everyone has to go through it.

Answer 9

Officially it ends at 18. If you were VERY generous you could pay for college. Everything else past the age of 18 is your daughters responsibility. If you would like to give her gifts then that is your choice but it is not required.

Answer 10

Lucky you! If she is attending college full time then maybe I see you helping her out once in awhile, but other then that! Tell her to get a job!
My 16 yr old has a part time job and goes to high school full time, I no longer provide her personal items. I still feed her and do her laundry, but she is responsible for her clothing and etc. I'm hoping this way we will teach her about responsiblity, we also have an 18 yr old boy, who works full time and pays rent!

Answer 11

being a parent is tough, because it seems like your responsibilites for your children never do end, but as you do not want your children to make mistakes that will ruin them, you also cannot take on their responsibilities, because if you do they will never learn to stand on their own. your daughter is still young, although legally she is an adult, she may not be able to function as one yet. i recommend that instead of paying her bills, you sit down with her, prepare a budget and show her the importance, power and influence mis-managed money can have on her future. if she is like most young adults, she will resent you digging into her finances and asking questions about how she spends her money. assure her that is she handled her finances better, you wouldn't have to dig into her business, is she handled it better. i also suggest that you let her know specifically how many times you will bail her out, and when those times come and go, she will have to fix her problems herself. just like any other adult.