i got to know a nice man 8 months ago and just 4 months ago we have been talking alot over the phone just hours and hours. I feel i could share with him and talk anything we want as well. He`s a great listener as well. but the problem is we live 9 hours away but in the same country. Just recently i began to have feelings for him and couldnt stop thinking about him most of the time, and also i have not been in the dating scene for the past 3 years. but yesterday i told him i like him very much to my suprise he said he likes me as well now he wants me to meet him and spend time with him for few days and see whether we can develop any strong feelings for each other but this is what i am scared of i have been hurt twice in my past relationship and i fing everything i dreamed of in a guy in him what if we are just meant to be friends and not couple..What if he doesnt feel like how i feel about him when we meet i think i will be very sad, Need advice if this happens to me, how can i deal???
2007-01-02 03:20:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Love is like life - If you don't take a risk, you'll never get anywhere. We all fear rejection, that someone doesn't feel the same way we do about them, 'what if...', 'how come...', all these types of thoughts occur inside our heads. Fear helps us grow and learn, some types of fear are good (Ex: being afraid of burning your hand on the stove - you know not to touch something hot without protection); some fears can be irrationtal - (being afraid that someone doesn't like you - you avoid situations where you might learn the truth, even if that truth is that he does like you). Don't let your fears hold you back. Sometimes you may get hurt, but it's okay - that person wasn't meant for you. Remember, you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs - but isn't it better to dine on something delicious, than starve with all the ingredients in front of you?
2007-01-02 03:30:46 · answer #1 · answered by McB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean that you haven't actually met this guy yet? If so, you have much to learn about one another. And since you're new to the dating scene, you are probably unaware of all the pitfalls to avoid. First, don't let fantasy override the reality of your situation. The purpose of dating is to get to know one another and determine if you're compatible. That takes awhile. So, don't be in such a big rush. Plan time together, but don't expect a perfect fit. It will be easy to just jump right in, but that's not the wise choice. Take the time to consider in advance what safeguards are needed. You have no obligation to accommodate him. Let him know that you plan to take things slow, so you'll have no regrets. If he pressures you for sex and/or committment too soon....run in the other direction. Good Luck
2007-01-02 03:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that I would suggest is to take your time. You said that you've been hurt so you may be just vulnerable. Spend time with him but expect nothing. That's the only way that you will allow yourself to be open to whatever is going to happen. Make sure that you don't allow yourself to get in to deep with him. Let him know that you like him but without putting yourself in a compromising situation such as " I 'm willing to do anything to be with this man," Guys will take that and run with it so be careful.
Good luck
2007-01-02 03:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by Brownie_baby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just take a chance. Life is about living and learning. Stop thinking about what happend in the past and live in the future. He might be having the same anxiety that you are having but life is about taking chances. Go and meet him and see what happends.
2007-01-02 03:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These feelings of fear of rejection will never go away. Just go to it and when or if you get rejected learn to be strong. When you try for anything there is always a chance you'll lose. You can't win anything if you don't play the game. Take care and be careful. Don't have sex with him for a while.
hope this helped. Margo
2007-01-02 03:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by margo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be too scared that you might hinder your chance of a good relationship with him. DOnt worry about the past you have to let it go and try to be happy. You two will be fine since you have such a good time on the phone
2007-01-02 03:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated 2 adult men who have been shorter way shorter than me (i'm extremely tall). One lasted a three hundred and sixty 5 days and the different 2 years. You do get stares and human beings have had evaluations approximately it. yet I never cared and you ought to not the two :) if she makes you happy that would desire to be all that concerns
2016-10-19 08:54:55 · answer #7 · answered by shea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it and give the relationship a chance to develop to the next stage, you will only regret it if you do not meet up. Good luck!!
2007-01-02 03:27:15 · answer #8 · answered by emmalp75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to open yourself up everytime in a new relationship --- there is some graffiti that says it all --- learn to love like you have never been hurt before ---- so go in with eyes open but prepared to open up emotionally to them
my best wishes to you and be safe when meeting --- do so in public the first time
2007-01-02 03:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with taking a chance. If he does not feel the same way about you that you feel about him just say " I'm sorry you feel that way."
2007-01-02 03:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by becca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋