I had an affair with my brother-in-law while my husband was out of town, its eating me up. Should I say anything or hope the guilt goes away? HELP ME!!!!
2007-01-02 02:46:52 · 16 answers · asked by prl_may 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are evil. your husband doesnt deserve this tell him right now!
2007-01-02 02:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by IcanHelpyou:) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better hope your brother-in-law doesn't say something. Personally - I would evaluate what you are really wanting in life and why you had the affair in the first place. I can't imagine your husband "understanding" but I don't know... Is this your husbands brother or your sisters husband? Are their kids involved? There's a lot of variables - but from what I have researched it is best to vow to yourself it will never happen again - and DON'T - and move on.
2007-01-02 10:51:19 · answer #2 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guilt does not go away on its own. If you don't tell him he'll probably find out, then not only have you cheated, you have lied to him and kept a big bad secret from him. A lack of trust can destroy a relationship just as finally as cheating.
Your relationship may be able to recover if you come clean, if you don't, your relationship is probably over anyway. If you could cheat once and keep it from him, you could cheat again. If you were able to cheat in the first place it may signal that you relationship is already damaged beyond repair.
You did a bad thing, and I hope things work out well for you, your husband and his brother. Just don't be surprised if the damage is permanent.
2007-01-02 10:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mr 51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband deserves to know the truth about what happened between you and your b-i-l. You are old enough to have made the choice of doing the act, now you must face the consequences of that action. Don't expect him to understand, and don't be surprised if things don't turn out well. You not only violated your marriage vows, but, you have also violated your husbands trust in you.
I hope and pray that your b-i-l is not also married and that there are no children involved in either family.
Good luck.
2007-01-02 10:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jacqueline B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me the longer u try and hide the truthnthe longer u wil;l feel eaten up inside but u can take the risk if u want to but just sop u kno the truth is gonna come out sooner or later. So i think its better now then lata just have this on ur mind tell him get it off your chest i am pretty sure something can be worked out. just say it was a mistake and u didnt mean to.Let me tell u something what done in the dark will come to light.
2007-01-02 10:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will find out one way or another and it's best it comes from you. You can't have been that happy or else it wouldn't have happened. Talk to your husband but try and keep calm and accept that he may not want to stay with you - you need to be prepared. Maybe you should talk to a close female friend first so you don't feel like you're on your own!
2007-01-02 10:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by amazingtessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to be honest if it is bothering you that much. Tell your husband what you did and beg for his forgiveness if you still want your marriage. If you let this go it will bother you a lot, and who is to say the brother in law won't tell his brother he has been with you??? I would get it out in the open as soon as possible.
2007-01-02 10:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by blueigurl34 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god... I tought this only happend in series o rmovies .... dam'n I had no idea that... anyway... hmm should you tell him???
Well it depends on, I believe that if you love someone really, really much it sould be difiicult to have an affair, so how much do you love you husband??
or maybe it just were something that will never happend again, I think you should tell this to your husband - you know sit down only you too... and say something... like "George, I have done something horrable that I regret, so, so much" "I dont know how to say this, but, but..." and try to cry a little bit... ;) and just say IT! ^^
2007-01-02 10:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by anonymous.thinker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, yes, your husband deserves to know, but no... he won't understand. Basically, you and your brother-in-law have hosed your marriage AND his relationship with his brother. Some things can't be fixed by saying "I'm sorry."
2007-01-02 10:50:30 · answer #9 · answered by Josh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey the guilt will never go away. You need to sit down and tell your man the truth. If you were grown enough to cheat you need to be grown enough to admit to it. That is messed up. How would you feel???
2007-01-02 10:49:53 · answer #10 · answered by lady bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guilt will eat you ALIVE! i really think you should tell your husband! your a grown woman,everything you do affects your life for better or worse!
just be honest with your husband!
hop all goes well
x x x
2007-01-02 10:50:54 · answer #11 · answered by Maria m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋