My girlfriend and I have been together for one and half years, and she is amazing to me, and we have a potential to be married later (she has two kids). There is another girl that I have been good friends with for nearly 5 years. I admitted to my girlfriend I was attracted this other girl at one point, and there would always be some small amount of attraction that lingers... So I agreed to talk to her less than i used to (twice/month rather than once/week). My girlfriend now wants to me to make sure I talk to her once every 3 months, and not be close friends with her anymore. I generally like to keep in touch with my friends more often than that, and it is making me feel controlled. My girlfriend is very loving, makes me happy, and we are very good together. But sometimes she seems insecure. Although I understand her situation, it upsets me that she is telling me what to do with someone I've known much longer than her. Please help give me some perspective on this situation..
2007-01-02 02:36:20 · 12 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
your in a delicate situation , i would try to come to the root of the problem, if she insecure, there is a reason, maybe nothing u did, but an ex lover could have cheated or something and even though your good to her and u guys are happy, the doubts will still linger for awhile, i don't think you should give up ur friend, but if she doesn't trust ur relationship with this woman well, than make the decision on ur own , because who are u going to sleep with at night? ask ur self where the loyalty lies, with ur friend? or with ur soon to be wife?
2007-01-02 02:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by naughty eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were so wrong in saying you had any attraction to another girl !!! She's got every right to feel that way ! It's not jealousy at all. Explain to your current gf that you are only friends with this girl and nothing more will ever come of it. Don't lay out any hints again that you would want more than a friendship !!! She may ease up and allow you to continue the friendship once she doesn't feel threatened. If she still says no... then make up your own mind about who is going to let you pick the people that you are allowed to speak to ??!!
2007-01-02 02:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OKAY. I am married. Seven years. My husband has a few female friends. They talk on the phone several times a year, for long stretches. They send Christmas and birthday cards. Sometimes they come here. These are women he grew up with, worked with, and partied with. He loves them, and they are all attractive. I do not feel threatened by any one of them.
BECAUSE MY HUSBAND PUTS ME FIRST.
Your girlfriend is responding not to insecurity, but to a perceived threat. Why can you not put your woman first? She is not asking you to give your friend up, just put some space in there.
You say you have a hard time doing this because you've known your friend longer??? Well, that's not a good reason at all. If you are serious about your girlfriend, in being together long-term, then you need to switch your priorities.
I feel sorry for your girl.
2007-01-02 02:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whats more important to you a women you love and will one day marry and spend life with or a friend whos been there for some years? No I dont think she is to jealous thats exactly what I would do. You need to decide. Love doesnt ome as easy as friends do. If you love her then dropping a friend should be a piece of cake. Good luck
2007-01-02 02:40:37 · answer #4 · answered by jdnsmama1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen dude, had the same exact problem
You need to make her realize that you arent going to drop your friends like that, trust me, your friend is going to be very importnat
I was dating a girl for about 2 years, she wanted the SAME EXACT thing, what happened? We ended up breaking up 6 months later and I lost my friend (yes there were marriage talks involved too and we lived together for a year of that)
2007-01-02 02:44:27 · answer #5 · answered by doctorslapnut 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would feel a bit insecure too if you had told me that you were attracted or felt even a little attracted to another lady. if it bothers you that much, then break up with her. dont drop your friends but at the same time, reconize that it hurts her that you feel attracted to someone else.
2007-01-02 03:07:12 · answer #6 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to the girl that you love to really limit your interaction with friend. 1x/yr to meet and catch up is good. How would you like it if the situation was reversed?
2007-01-02 04:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to lesson your friendship with your mate just cos shes female, a mates a mate, your girlfriend should understand that and respect your friendship, not boss you around and tell you what to do.
2007-01-02 02:41:46 · answer #8 · answered by jaz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No she is not to jealous!!! I understand your girlfriend!! What would you do if she brings you in the same situation? Stop talking to your friend and care more about your girlfriend!!!
2007-01-02 02:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by hunnybunny3und2 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her how you feel about the situation and tell her what you feel for her, then she'd definitley know that she has nothing to worry about, because you love her with all your heart and there's nothing you would do to hurt her in any way, she'd be assured.
2007-01-02 02:45:06 · answer #10 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋