How do you go through the emotions of clearing your Mum's house when she has just died? I'm not coping at all.

Answer 1

So very sorry! I couldn't do it- my husband did, so you are very brave even if you don't feel very courageous at the moment.
Try "Bach Rescue Remedy" a homeopathic tincture that helps depression, stress and sadness and has no side effects. Meditation helps too. Can a friend or relative assist you- that would make the job easier. When you finish for the day, do something that will take your mind off this dreadful task, like visiting with a dear friend, seeing a movie, doing something you usually enjoy ( but no alcohol of course!) Take some thingsthat you will treasure and donate stuff to a cause you respect.
You will be fine! Good luck and blessings.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about your mum. Clearing the house after someone has died can be very difficult. You'll come across things that mean a lot to you or meant a lot to your mother. Her clothes...etc. very hard to deal with.

I think you need to accept all the emotions...don't fight them because they will only come out in another way. It is a process cry when you need to and don't be afraid to feel the pain....it helps to heal.

You may find yourself feeling guilty and intrusive but try to think of it as the last thing you can do for your mother...sorting out her affairs.....I'm sure she'd rather it was you and not a stranger.

Also remember to take time out away from it doing something that you can relax with.

Is there anyone you can take with you to the house that you trust so you can talk and share your feelings?

I hope this helps and I wish you well.

Answer 3

Best advice ever that was given to me was to take your time and do not get rid of anything for at least a year. Allow yourself to grieve. There is nothing wrong with it and it is actually healthy. Everyone grieves in their own way so don't let anyone else tell you that you are not coping. You are coping. Just by reaching out for help from complete strangers asking advice on how to do it is a way of coping, and right now it is your way. If you must go through her things now and cannot find the strength to do it then ask a trusted friend to box everything up for you and place it all in storage until you are ready to go through it yourself. Somtimes it takes a while. Some people find it is actually helpful to go through their loved ones things. Go at your own pace and do what is best for YOU right now.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear your news. If you aren't yet ready to clear through her things could you perhaps leave it a little longer? If you need to do it now, how about taking a good friend with you for moral support? Put on the radio or take some music with you and remember all the good times you had with your Mum. Make sure you've got lots of tissues as well as the practical stuff you'll need. Good luck and be strong.

Answer 5

It's not easy, but try to concentrate on sorting out the "everyday" stuff from the bits that hold treasured memories. You can then easily ditch, sell or give away the everday stuff, leaving you with the other items which you can take away and sort through at a later date when you are stronger.

Dealing with your emotions is important, so go easy on yourself. It is fine to grieve, but don't let it take over your life. Good Luck.

Answer 6

my mum died 3 years ago and i only cleared out her house 3 months ago. i felt despair when i finally did it as i felt i was getting rid of her life and what she worked hard for. but i also felt a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders. i keep all my memories of my mum in my head as they are irreplaceable and material possessions are just a small reminder of what she loved and liked. i hope you get through this and i truly believe you will feel much better when you are finished. keep the things that really matter and treasure them as they will be the only things you will have.

Answer 7

Sorry Hun for your loss. Mums are so precious.

Just take your time...Lost both my parents then my twin Brother and only last September got round to sorting through his stuff (9years). Make piles. Keepsakes for family, a pile for charity and stuff to store away cos you dont know what pile it goes in yet. I kept my mums outfit she wore to my wedding and I could smell her perfume on it. I still have it in the attic.

Go through the stored stuff when you are stronger...and believe me that could be years, buit it wont matter because then at least you may be able to smile at the memories some of them will hold.
xx

Answer 8

It takes time. Don't hurry, if you don't need to. Been there. There will be memories, think of the happy times. Everyone handles grief in their own way. You will cope. You'll have good days and bad. Eventually, the mourning will stop but you nevr stop missing that very special person in your life.
Wishing you all the best in this situation.

Answer 9

its a very hard time for you at the moment the best way to help you through your loss is by holding the good times in your heart and mind and when you have your mams specially items remember her laughing and knowing your mams at peace will help you some say time heels but its not it gives you acceptance your emotions will be all over the place and no matter when you decide to do it there will be heart ache but it will help to cry and laugh when emptying her house because you need to remember the good times with your mam

Answer 10

You only do it with a sister or a brother with you and if you do not have one of those, then you need a "best" friend. That way, you can talk your way through it. For some reason a husband or a wife does not work.