recently had a brake up- was a year long relationship which we were very much in love-- i had helped him through a hard spell of drink adiction and then everything was fine. we were having a blast--due to some unfortunate circumstances i ended up getting agravated and we ended up arguing nearer to the end of the year- we were going to move in together then the day i move in--he brakes up with me telling me he doesnt love me any more even though he had seemed so in love with me a week before. Just got a message 3 weeks later saying he's been in and out of hospital for alcohol abuse and they are putting him on anti depressants. he seems like he needs someone-- but he finished with me and im angry about it--but im scared because i care alot about him. should i stay friends? or leave him to be depressed on his own????
2007-01-02 02:27:34 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you care anything for him at all you'll be his friend. He needs friends now more than ever. He may not know it now, but when he starts feeling better he will. It may bring the 2 of you closer together.. ya never know sometimes... I say stick things out, be there for him, and be honest with him... He needs you !
2007-01-02 02:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are walking on some very thin ice. He broke up with you - this is an indication that he either doesn't want your help, or he is so screwed up he doesn't even realize what he is doing - and hurt you in the process. Either way - you need to step back.
I don't see any reason you can't be frank and let him know that you would never turn your back on him, if he really needed you. BUT, you can't continue to be the first person he turns to when times are rough. Give him some suggestions, people you know, support groups, on who he can turn to. You can't leave him hanging - but you can't be that person either.
It's important to make sure he understands that his problem is not yours. You are not able to fix it, nor should you feel responsible to assist it.
It will feel awful to say these things to him - it will be painful for you. Likely, he will not be happy to hear them either. But you have to look out for yourself.
You can still be friends...but not right now.
2007-01-02 02:43:42 · answer #2 · answered by firehorsetwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been there, but mine ex left me with a 5 week old baby girl and never looked back when he did call it was to say he was in and out of hospitals and he was sober but sry he left and you can't erase the pain and mistrust that comes with that i let him in again and he walked right back out trust me , he is better off by himself to work through his things it will only upset you , bring you down and he will try to play on your pity to get whatever he feels he might be needing at the moment and then prob walk away anyway , save yourself the heartache and leave him alone . good luck and stay strong it is a devastating situation by time will heal your heart!
2007-01-02 02:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by naughty eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay friend with him but i wouldn't start a relationship again.You need to go on with your life and need to find somebody who apreciate you and don't change his mind so many times.First he need to take care of his own life before he can take care of you.Just check on him sometimes if everything is allright but if you start with him a relationship again then you allways have to worried about if he break up with you again or how much depressed he is.
2007-01-02 02:36:12 · answer #4 · answered by hunnybunny3und2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone right now. He needs to work on himself to get well and you need to work on you before you get too caught up in his mess. Alcoholics have a disease dear and you can not save him from it no matter how much you love and care about him you can not change him. It took me too long to realize I need to get help for myself and I do that through church and meetings.
Good luck to you
2007-01-02 02:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, help him. But if it's over, don't expect things to pick back up. Look out for yourself first.
2007-01-02 02:32:36 · answer #6 · answered by dwarner33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should stay friends with him. Remember God don't like ugly. Go and see how he is doing. Even though he hurt you you still can be friends with him.
2007-01-02 02:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by Big Red 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should stay friends!! If he cares he will still want to be friends!! If not fuc# him!!
2007-01-02 02:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by cool kat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋