how can i get my boyfriend to spend more time doing things with me, he spends to much time on the computer?

Question

i know its his hobby, but it drives me NUTS, and the freaking x-box .. good lord, I swear i should just put a computer chip in my butt so that he'll spend more time with me lol - I just wish he put in more effort torwards our relationship,and want to want to do things with me , instead of me always being the one to ask him to do stuff and ripping him away from his computer cause 1/2 the time i think he wishs he was back on the pc when we are out..

and just for the record, its just games that he is playing I know he's not chatting with anyone else. I know he loves me, this is just something he loves to do. Have any idea how i can join him? I'll do anything to spend time with him

Answer 1

He's not going to change. My first husband watched TV all the time (this was back in the days before the internet). Stupid junk like Simpsons, Gilligan's Island, Beverly Hillbillies. I did the whole "stand naked in front of the TV" and all that - didn't work. Now my current husband is addicted to the computer. Dice Wars. Reddit. Slashdot.

Some people just need more downtime. It's how they deal with stress, or how they entertain themselves. If you want more out of life, find someone else. But if you want to live with it, then pick up a keyboard or a game controller and play along - if he doesn't mind. Some guys just want to be left alone to zone out when they're staring at electronic things. Or go find something else to do. I've noticed that if I ignore my husband long enough, he comes looking for me. :)

Answer 2

Based on your descriptions, he sounds addicted.

My first husband would get addicted to things easily. Life was a nightmare with him.

Research has shown some individuals have genes that increase addictive behavior. He may be wired to become addicted easily.

You know there's a problem or you wouldn't be here. I suggest you let him know exactly what you told us, if you haven't already.

His behavior right now is an excellent example of what you have to look forward to if you decide to spend more time with him. Is this what you want? Are you a trained psychiatrist?

You might want to take some classes and get paid to help him. Or go to an Al-Anon meeting for people who love people with addictions; or go out and find someone that wants to participate in your life.

Don't mean to sound harsh, but if he's not exactly what and who you want consider looking around for someone else. Life is too short and you should be having fun, not being ignored!

Answer 3

OH, you wanted love and affection and attention ??? In that case, you should have waited until he was sure you are the one and gotten married. As it is, you 2 are just shacking up. Sit the boy down and have a long talk about your future together. Get some common goals and get on the same page. Good Luck.

Answer 4

This is actually a question my b/f should be answering because his complaint re: me is that I spend too much time at my lap top/working etc.

Hopefully your b/f is playing the video games because doing so makes him feel good and you can get into it with him. Pick up a controller, ask questions, read up on his favourite games online and then join him. Sharing in his joy will bring the two of you closer and who knows, you might find joy in it too.....a win win situation.

If he's doing it for other reasons....start talking with him. Is he playing to zone out from your relationship? As a way of avoiding you? (this is what I find myself doing with my b/f....can't stand his controlling, authoritative attitude towards me so I zone out at the computer away from him). If you see this happening....please please talk with him and find a way to communicate the issues at hand.

Good luck to you (and to me) and happy gaming.

Answer 5

honestly realtime BJ's might do the trick. If i was in his position i would pounce on u right away. Screw the game I need explosions in the sack, I can actually FEEL the game in my hands and 3rd leg. Just tell him pretend ur the computer and u want to beat the score and use the timer to rate him on points. lol

Answer 6

Make a %nic lunch, take your widespread music, a great blanket to stretch out and communicate. Play a stupid game. savour only being in each and each others employer. Get him to paint your toenails. provide one yet another a rubdown. in case you reside someplace suitable, do all the above at night decrease than the celebrities or comparable area (presented it somewhat is age suitable) in case you have no longer have been given a motor vehicle to holiday, do each and all of the above on your individual exterior. no count number if it somewhat is raining, snuggle up and take a snooze. If suitable, take a protracted, bubbly soak interior the tub. communicate approximately issues you may want to do once you get some money. walk around in a flea marketplace and notice what proportion ordinary issues you hit upon. My boyfriend, now husband, and that i like historic web content and we want to stroll around in pre-civil conflict cemeteries (that may no longer for each individual, of course) what proportion stuff do you desire? bypass skating, journey a bike, prepare a meal jointly or you prepare dinner his widespread, he makes yours.

Answer 7

Give him a taste of his own medicine. Don't spend time with him. Instead, either hang out with friends or find a hobby that keeps you active. He'll get the message. Maybe you should hang out with "guy" friends to make him jealous. Tell him:
"If you snooze......you lose!"

Answer 8

try to do things you both like, not just one of you like its really important to spend that time together, to talk about the day or just to have some time together, maybe go to the park or something

Answer 9

Bring it too his attention
Try to get him out the house
Set a time limit

Answer 10

Hmmm......sounds like you need a new boyfriend........


You can get a chip installed in your butt???? Cool, but what if you need to plug in a keyboard AND a mouse?????