How would you discipline a 16 year old boy who falls in the door drunk at 3am?

Answer 1

wow, I grew up in the 80's and my dad would have been waiting in the living room with belt in hand. I can't believe you would let your 16 year old stay out til 3am. In my day I wasn't allowed out past 9pm until I was like 18! It's no wonder kids are so bad off these days. People are always trying to tell me that my dad is way too strict but at least me and my siblings have never gotten drunk, high, stolen or gotten into any other trouble! I thank my dad for the upbringing he gave me...and I love him dearly!

Answer 2

i have a little knowledge of some facts regarding what is best to do in this situation.
one if a parent blows there top and goes over board with the anger and punishments for a child doing this . the result often times is that the child /person will just hide drinking from you and become very good at hiding this . once the drinking is hidden from you and his family it becomes much more likely that the person will develop the idea that drinking alone is fine . the thinking becomes so long as this remains hidden its fine.
this has been reseached and the result of this is a higher chance the child will later become an alcoholic.
a parent that is calmer and keeps this in perspective does not freak out but instead waits until the boy is sobber and the hang over is largely gone before talking with the child at lenght about this is better off.
explain to your child that you know peer presure is hard and being a teen is really hard. then explain to him that drinking in excess or two often is just something that ends in problems
another study was done on teens that using many meathods of study of the mind of a teen and it was found that if similar activites were to go on in the brain of an adult a doctor would come to view the person as being nuts. / very mentally ill
i tell you this because its important to know that some of what a teen does is a direct result of brain development . the teens brain is causing the person to be all most manic depressed and have conditions that are not so unlike some of the most serious mental illnesses.
so in short wait to talk to him be sensible about what you tell him
dont lie or over do the dangers of alcohol instead tell him that your disapointed that he did this but you thanks god he is ok .
then explain that you would not like him to drink at all .
then explain that your aware of the pressures to drink and the hard time it is being a teen , and give him some idea's how he can learn to drink in moderation.
next this one is really important . tell him that no matter what if he is drunk or his ride / driver is drunk you will not freak on him if he calls you and asks for a ride or if he has to take a taxi home.
keep some cash at home to pay a taxi at all times.
again explain that just because you wont freak on him you will still be very let down if he does get drunk again.
that is what i would do

Answer 3

Was it New Year's? Betcha his peer pressure to drink was hard to back down from.... Even so, if you don't want him to think that he can get away with it, you'll have to do something.

I would ground my son for 2 weeks. No partying, no friends over, hanging out with friends. He'd get the message from me that 16 is too young to drink and that he obviously can't do it responsably anyway so since he acted like a child, he needs to be treated like one.

I'd also make him clean up any mess he made.

He'd also have to follow guidelines once he gets his freedom back. I'd cut the time he has to be home on weekends down by 30 min or 1 hour. That would last till he's proven he's more responsible in his actions. That would make the lenght of the restrictions his option... long or short....

Good luck....

Answer 4

I did it once, and only once to my parents. I woke up to find my mother boiling meat, and my father chopping fire wood! The NEVER SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT! I was scared to death! I understand that this doesnt work for you. BUT, you need to think through it. Was it a one time NYE deal? How often has it been happening? Was he were he was supposed to be? Was there any lies told? Do you trust him?

After you get that sort of information you need to decide on the level of punishment. If you are worried that he is becoming an alcoholic, take him to an AA meeting. Shock him into realizing the troubles he could be facing. Or take him to a hospital to meet someone who has been injured in a DUI. You can call your local police station, and talk to an officer, and tell them your concerns. Dont tell them you have hard facts, you dont want to get him that much trouble, but they are a good resource for information. They may even allow you a visit to the jail and the cells. Stuff like that can shock permanently. Which is a good idea. You need to get the message through that alcohol is dangerous! Not just that it impares your judgement, and the judgements of others, but that it can ruin your life and be addictive.

He may have just succumbed to peer pressure, and it may be a one time only thing. Talk to him. He may need to change friends, and is scared to do so, because with these friends he fits in. Get him involved with someone else. Volunteer work is a good one, because it would look good for college. Habitat for Humanity is great. Because he can feel all purposeful and manly and validated.

Good Luck. I wish I knew more about your son, to help you further. Take care, of yourself and him! And, dont forget, he is a teen. And, unless you lead by example, anything you say to him you will appear to be a hypocrit!

Answer 5

He just lost your trust so treat him appropriately. At home have him tell you what he is doing at all times, have him report to you when he moves from one room to another, have him tell you he is going to the bathroom, bedroom, family room etc.. Check in on him every 1/2 hour and see if he is where he told you. Make him do things like homework, watching TV, playing games in a place where you can see him instead of in his room. Don't let him go anywhere alone, have him report all his movements to you, have him call from school and tell you he is leaving school and should be home at xx:xx o'clock. (Have him use a phone at school. Have him leave messages on an answering machine if you can't take his calls) Keep telling him that he has to earn your trust again. Do this for at least 2 weeks and hopefully he will be begging you to trust him again.

Answer 6

Ground him, for starters. As a parent, what's your 16 year old doing out til 3:00 am in the first place? You have some responsibility to parent, ya know? If you're not a responsible parent, that might be why he feels that he can do whatever he wants. If you don't stop him, maybe the police or death will. Time to step up and be a parent. Kids expect you to do what's right.

And to Lauren, the 1st answerer...You're a complete and total idiot.

Answer 7

First, ground him from everything. Then take him to an AA meeting, so he can see the results of becoming an alcoholic. If that doesn't seem to work, take him to a prison and let him talk to someone who was drunk, got behind the wheel, and killed someone. He'll get the picture then.

Answer 8

I guess it would depend on if this was a first occurance or not.
If it was the first time, i would calmly talk to him and let him know that that type of thing is unacceptable and that if it happens again that there will be consequences.
If he is a repeat offender, you definitely need to take control of the situation. Set strict guidlines and follow through with them, maybe even get him counceling if it is happening often.

Answer 9

If it's the first time, let him know that this behavior is not acceptable and won't be tolerated. If you control his car keys you could take them away and ground him from leaving for an appropriate length of time. The third time my son did this...I kicked him out (tough love) and he had to get a job. He stayed with a friend for a couple of days then came home lots smarter and employed. His time was then channeled toward work and school and he didn't have time for nonsense.

Answer 10

well im getting to that age it will happen to me if i was a parent the girl who answered his life is a dumb *** thats ur kid gorund him and if he gets high or drunk again tell him not to over do it. He already has lots of freedome it sounds like so he will do it again and tell him not to over dew getting drunk and dont drive home drunk. UR the parent not me. lady its not ur fault if it ever occureed to people u dont have to have a freind who looks or acts a ceratin way to get drunk or high now it could be if u dont watch him and dont care like that lady said his life that retarted when hes 18 u can do that.