My b/f and I have gone out (off and on) for the past 4 years but our sex drives are completely different. I am the horny one, wanting intimacy, sex, kissing, touching, cuddling etc. all the time. He has a take it or leave it attitude. At times, he is super horny but his moods are all over the place in regards to our sex life.
What can I do? squelch my sex drive? find a hobby that takes my mind off of being with him? masturbate more?(my arm is sore as it is). I will not cheat on him btw. so that is not an option.
Any recomendations from the men and women out there in cyberspace? I am always horny but my b/f's desire fluctuates sporadically and it's driving me crazy!
If you are in love with your partner, why not show them all the time? Should I just tune out and turn off? HELP!
2007-01-02 02:01:11 · 11 answers · asked by Meg 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tuning out and turning off makes Meg a really frustrated woman. What I wouldn't give for a woman who is always ready...
Anyway, what you need to do is become creative. Mood swings aside. Whenever you are horny, the easiest way to get him into the mood is not by words, but by actions and stimulation. Take him into your mouth and just hold him gently with very little movement. Then subtly and slowly add gentle tongue movements. Any man who can resist that needs to see a doctor.
Good Luck
PS. No words can coax an erection. And when you get that response, he will soon take the lead and become the aggressor. Next day he will think it's all about his libido, but you are the secret heroine.
2007-01-02 02:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your desires are different, and it's been this way for 4 years it will not change for the better. I've had g.f. who said they'd never become one of those couples, after a few years of marriage, kids and responsiblity she says hubby's frustrated ... soooooooo
You need to decide now if it's important (and it sounds like it is) then know it probably won't change .... it hasn't in 4 yrs and it won't unless either party discovers there's a reason for it and wants to change.
You do not want to try to find a hobby to take your mind off what you want ... that won't work ... trust me after over 12 yrs of marriage and a lot of "wanting" periods you'll understand it very clearly. I love my husband and I don't want to leave him but at times there's just no being "happy with a hobby"!!!
2007-01-02 10:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by Chele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...you should advise him that an exclusive sexual relationship carries with it the responsibility for each partner's sexual satisfaction. Ask him what your recourse is if he refuses to show affection. You may also want to tell him that it's not just about the intercourse, that you'd be happy (if in fact you would be) if you could just hold each other and be affectionate without the pressure to perform. Otherwise, you will need to re-evaluate whether you're willing to stay in this relationship long term without being sexually fulfilled. Another thing to consider is whether there is a medical issue with your guy that needs to be addressed that is causing him to have a low sex drive
2007-01-02 10:06:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I quess you could just get a toy... But i would try to will him to have sex with you. Try to walk around your house, with him, in high heels haked with fishnet, or something. That should t=mak him have to have sex with you.
If he starts to leave on you. As if you see him flirting with another girl then you will know where his sex drive went. Tal kot him a little. Or you can just hang with him.
On a weekend day. Try to play a sport or something with him. Something he might like. then at night do something that will make him get in bed. Thsi might work, if you liek cross word pzzles get on the couch and do one with him. You cn fall a sleep on him, or you could tyr to have more sex.
I hope that helped. Have fun. And you can wear high heels ibn bed...
2007-01-02 10:08:33 · answer #4 · answered by Screen Name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it down a notch and if you guys were really in love you wouldnt be going on like that. Are you sure you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with? If you do then you guys need to have a serious talk.
2007-01-02 10:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If sex is that important to you and not your boyfriend, You need to find someone who's sexually compatible with you. People don't usually change because we want them to be different. He is who he is (which is not wrong or bad) and so are you. Just because he's your boyfriend doesn't mean you control his life. Get over yourself.
2007-01-02 10:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
buy yourself acouple of sex toys! One it will keep your right arm from getting bigger than you left... :) and two he will realize that you have found somthing that can easily take his spot if he cant hang with the big dogs. I personally get turned on when my girl brings out the toys!! good luck!
2007-01-02 10:10:15 · answer #7 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say to him "what the hell is ur problem? r u gay?!" lol im only kidding dont say that. I dunno, this is a pretty hard question to answer uhhh.... get him drunk. lol only kidding dont do that. Uhhhhh... bring him to one of those places that help men with their sex life. They may be able to help him cuz who doesnt like sex lol hahaha. But maybe he wont wanna go there... But anyways thats all i can think of, i know i probably didnt help but oh well lol
2007-01-02 10:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anna Giggles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun i am in the same boat as you, and it sucks. i could do it more than once in a day, hell i could 3 times a day, and she has no sex drive at all lately and it sucks!!!!!!!! i dont know how to turn it off, if i could believe me i would, its so frustrating
2007-01-02 10:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you start analyzing the times he is horny and see if there is something that triggers it? Or plain out ask him what his turn on's are.
2007-01-02 10:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋