Love, money and faith?

Question

I'm a 26 year old who's been seeing a girl for the last year.

I'm absolutely besotted with her - There is nothing I would not do for that woman.

She's 37, Russian, and between us, do not speak a common language - She's living here in Spain (learning Spanish) as am I.

We get by, by using rudimentary Spanish.

I met her last year at a Christmas party and since then, we've been together as if we were officially partners - We never declared a formal relationship existed but have acted as if it does.

I love her and she loves me but can only commit if I can guarantee finacially stability.

I am an entrepreneur so on paper, I'm worth a lot of money but physically do not have cash to play with yet - Any cash I do have, I treat her (and me!).

She's all I want.

She's uncertain whether I can 'support'. I know I can - Demonstrating it right now is the problem.

She's realistic and practical. And right.

How can I make her see before she loses faith?

Sensible answers

It's not about showing her paper - Because then, it's just about money.

I will prove her wrong but getting her to have a little faith is hard.

She's been let down many times.

I want her to see I am different.

Answer 1

Am i missing something here?
why in this modern age of equality do you have to show her any sort of financial security? Hasn't she got a job of her own...why would she be looking to YOU to financially secure her? Fair enough if you both had a little un together & she opted to be a stay at home Mum...but other than that what's wrong in her setting out her own financial security by getting a job & building her own future...

So what if you got married say...& everything was fine ...then through illness or injury you couldn't provide for a while...is she going to see that as a reason for sodding off to the next Guy that could offer her monetary incentives to hang around.

There are no guarantees in this life Honey....You can't guarantee that you'll be able to offer financial security on a permanent level & sad to say I don't think you can guarantee that she'll stay even if you do
I reckon you should be asking yourself if...although you deeply love her...does she really feel the same for you.

Lust/Love is never reasonable...not to start with anyway, as silly & irrisponsible as it seems to everyone else looking on...when 2 people fall in love they'll do anything to be together...don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you shouldn't be thinking practical...but where's all the other stuff that leads up to it in the first place...like having a passionate loving relationship with one another & swearing despite what could go wrong...you'll both be together forever more
I wouldn't be questioning what I have to offer but what she really really actually wants from me & what does she have to offer....

Answer 2

I think there is chemistry in your relationship!! And love should be for better or for worse!! If she is only interested in what you can provide for her right now, then I would sincerely consider her intent. if she was really realistic and practical, then what you have right now should get you by.
whether your business, succeeds or fail one person should realize the opportunities that lye ahead!! I would cherish a relationship that had no monetary status and an unconditional love, a friendship that continues to grow stronger day by day. Versus a relationship that had a secure monetary status, and a role play type of friendship. Hopefully this will enlighten you to real type of point of view.

Answer 3

My opinion -- all of life is a crap shoot. Even if you had millions in the bank today, there are all sorts of things that could change your fortunes over a life time. When you commit, you commit to being there no matter what. If she's looking for a "provider" then she's looking for a guarantee in life that doesn't exist. My husband became disabled several years after we were married. It went from both of us working to me trying to take care of him and provide for the family. You know what? That's what a lifetime committment demands and I don't feel bad or sad or anything. If she can't feel like that, are you sure YOU want to make a committment?

Answer 4

OK U love her and she loves you. What makes her so determined to have financial security? At a guess her background includes experience of deprivation, she doesn't want to repeat. I would guess theres a language problem here. Can you ask her to help you with your books? Maths sometimes is a common language

Answer 5

I love her and she loves me but can only commit "if I can guarantee financially stability."

Sounds to me like you don't have any faith, and if you don't why should she?

She probably only wants a green card anyway. If she wants to be with you as much as you do her - money wont matter. If money is the only issue you have you don't have an issue. If she is hinging everything on money.... You don't need her.

Answer 6

well boy remember a succesful relationship is one where the mates know eachother in and out.....they understand each other's limitations and constraints and only then they commit to each other by promising to be at each other's side during thick and thin.................whenever you're sure that your partner knows your limitations and still love you that is the right time to ask her to engage into a real relationship................wait till then and we can pray that such a moment comes very quickly in your life...............gooooood luckkkk.........

Answer 7

Establish yourself in your career and financially first. It seems that you are blinded by love. Be sensible and practical in your life.

Answer 8

If I were in your position, I would prove her wrong since she likes to be realistic and practical.

Answer 9

Get an job that gives you cash,check some thing that she can see and then she will feel more at ease with you.

Answer 10

if she loves you she will stay and yes if you have to prove it.
you said its on paper ...why do you have to prove how much you can give

good luck