why is it friends are only there when things are going great?

Question

hi, i'm going through a bit of a crisis at the moment with health, studies, work etc. unfortunetely i have became quite depressed and i am trying to come out of it. i've noticed that a lot of my friends seem to be keeping their distance since i told them what i am going through. everytime a friend of mine has a problem they come to me. i always give them time and i am always there for them. this has been a major theme in my life. i generally give and help all the time. i don't expect everyone to help me out. it would just be nice to have support from my mates when things are hard. i guess some people for whatever reason are only there when things are good. i've never been like that as it is not in my nature. i get the feeling that people may well be taking me for granted. i do have many friends. the great friends i can count on one hand. i know i am very lucky to have friends as i know there is a lot of people in the world alone and suffering.

Answer 1

I go through rough patches every now and then in my life. 12 months ago I always thought I had a sign on my front gate " Counsellor Available 24/7" my so called friends poured out their troubles to me which effected me emensley with my own depressed. I was trying to study at TAFE work part-time and a single mum. When I wanted someone to talk to where were these friends......

I have learnt the hard way and these so called friends are no longer a part of my life very much..... I have closed my door to any so called counselling for friends and concentrated on my own well being and am so very much better off for it. I am lucky now I have one true friend in which we can both share our feelings to each other equally, she listens & I listen.

I love this saying - True friends listen when no-one else hears.

Some friends will come and go I use to have so many friends I couldn't count them on one hand, but they weren't emotionally good for me, now I can count my true friends on one hand.
Sifen out the bullshit friends - seek professional counselling yourself - so much more resourceful than friends helped me so much.

Answer 2

You're a bit of a doormat, there are alot of us. Noone likes to hang with a sadsack because it depresses them also. Sometimes friends like to leave you too, give you space to work things out, and most of the time they probably don't know how to help. Sometimes they don't even think that what you've just told them is actually seriously hurting you. Be there for them, as you grow older the tables may turn. We all go through changes in our lives and at this time they may not have the same understanding as you. I suggest for you to depend on yourself only and you will be stronger for it.

Answer 3

Any friend that is worth a damn will stick by you no matter how hard life gets. All others are "fair weather" friends, meaning that they will stick with you during the good times but will immediately flee when the bad times come around.

Answer 4

maybe things arnt going to be great when ur depressed....
ur frens might keep their distance cuz maybe thats what they think u need....u say that frens come to u when they have problems, u must be a great friend to spend time with them......don u have nay solutions on how to come out of ur depression ur self...cuz it seems that u have all the answers here within ur circle of friends....
there is also a chance that ppl are taking u for granted for reason i don know what...don u have like a bestfren, boyfren, girlfren or sumone to tlk 2......there has to be someone cuz u have many friends.....

Answer 5

if you have real friends, yes, they will still be around when you are depressed. you don't really have friends, you have people who hang out with you and they get annoyed when you behave depressed all the time. try not to think about yourself so much, try to be accomodating to others before yourself, and you will make real friends.